A good day so far, I figured.I was on my way from the parking lot to the restaurant when I realized that an old lady with a walker was also hobbling toward the door from a different direction. She looked kind of frail so I speeded up a little, thinking I'd hold the door open for her. Big mistake!
When she saw me speeding up she figured I was trying to beat her to the door so I could get a better place in line... so she hobbled faster. I saw her hobbling faster so I walked faster. She saw me walk faster so she began to run, taking what for her were giant strides with the walker. I saw her running so I ran even faster. She saw me running and really tore for the door. Neck and neck, we both almost dived for the door. I don't mean to brag but I got there a full second or two before her, and I gallantly (I thought) opened the door for her.
No thanks were offered but a good deed is its own reward.
Awesome! I love to watch how certain people behave in awkward situations. Sometimes if there's a "slippery floor" sign in the mall or something, I like to sit and watch how people react. Some will tread very carefully across, while other might turn around entirely, lest they risk the fall.
ReplyDeleteFun stuff Eddie!
YOU SHOWED THAT OLD LADY WHOSE THE BOSS. Nice.
ReplyDelete...and then you knocked her down and stole her walker!
ReplyDeleteIt makes a handy towel rack!
A younger man reaches for a door and an older woman doesn't realize that he is trying to open the door for her. I think that makes it official: the feminists have won!
ReplyDeleteYour a good scout Eddie.
ReplyDeleteUncle Eddie is a good scout, even if the lady was a little squirrelly.
ReplyDeleteHoney, I was racing you to the door so I didn't have to wait for a seat at lunch today.
ReplyDeleteIt's really difficult to get around with a walker. I know because of my mom. My sister in law told me an astouding story about one of her experiences...
ReplyDeleteMy brother and sister in law were driving my mom from Arizona to California- back when she decided to move out here. They stopped in Barstow to get gas, and my sister in law helped my mom out of the car and into the bathroom. My mom finished up and washed her hands and was ready to go back to the car. My sister in law was helping her by holding the door open for her, and a little girl came charging in and deliberately plowed right into my mom, knocking her down on the floor. The kid just stood there and laughed. As my sister in law scrambled to help my mom up, she saw the girl's mother grab her by the arm and say, "THIS is why I can't take you ANYWHERE!" She dragged the kid away without any apology or any interest in whether my mom was hurt or not.
Some people are real bastards.
See ya
Steve
Steven Worths story cont.
ReplyDelete...And that girl went on to fame and fortune hosting her own talk show and later adopting kids with her lesbian lover. I always did think Rosie O'Donnel was a rude lesbian too full of herself.
Perhaps she wanted to hold the door for you?
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm-it's a possibility!
Possible reasons:
ReplyDelete1)Perhaps she had an adrenaline rush from Eddies sexy sashe' towards the door
2)Maybe she just remembered that the Maalox Pimento Loaf sandwiches were half off that day.
3)She was gassing one out and was propelled forward at breakneck speed.
4)Maybe she just got her hip joints re greased and was doing some test driving
5)Perhaps, her diapers were at maximum capacity and she had a turtle poking cotton.
We may never know her true reasons, and thank god for that!
Mr. Uncle Eddie:
ReplyDeleteI do not know which is funnier, the story or the comments! Once again I applaud you and your humor!