Bosom is a Victorian word that you don't hear too often nowadays. It denotes breasts which are not just big but are...expansive. Do Dolly Parton and Jane Mansfield have bosoms? Yes, I think so but I can't say for sure without examining them. A real bosom requires a certain amount of chest area above the boobs. I'm not a bosom fetishist, mind you, I like all kinds of breasts, but 
like all men I follow any news about this area with keen interest.
The last famous bosom that I know of was owned by Elsa Maxwell, the famous hostess of the 40s and 50s. That's Elsa in the caricature and the cooking ad. Hers was a noble Milt Gross - type bosom. I wonder what she looked like when she was young, something she's definitely not here. When Elsa departed the world she took bosoms with her. No, wait a minute. I forgot about Aunt Bee.
Whoa, there! You're forgetting Pearl Slaghoople!
ReplyDeleteI think there should be a part 2 and even maybe a part 3 to this post Eddie
ReplyDeleteUncle Eddie this is one of your funniest posts! I was laughing so hard I was crying.
ReplyDeleteSticking with the subject...I think that Margaret Dumont, the actress who always played the society lady in the Marx Brothers films, would also fit this category.
Who's Pearl Slaghoople?
The sad thing today is that there are way too many fake bosoms. Everyone wants enormous ones, no matter the crease lines nor the medical dangers. These fakes move like concrete in a stiff wind.
ReplyDeleteSee, the thing is that in order to have boobs, you need to have a fair amount of fat on your person.
ReplyDeleteBut as we all know, beauty today is defined by how many of your ribs are showing. And, of course, whether or not your sternum pokes out.
Mmm. Hot.
WHO'S PEARL SLAGHOOPLE?!?!?!?! For shame, Jennifer! :-O
ReplyDeletePerhaps bosoms have become lost in the blitz of hooters, knockers, cupcakes, headlights, gazongas, kadodios, melons, cans, torpedoes, funbags, canteloupes... half of which sound like a pinball machine and the others like something to eat. Bosom is kind of amorphous. You can never be too sure what's in a bosom. Maybe an indian head penny or a lifesaver.
ReplyDeleteGreatest post.....EVER!
ReplyDelete"Perhaps bosoms have become lost in the blitz of hooters, knockers, cupcakes, headlights, gazongas, kadodios, melons, cans, torpedoes, funbags, canteloupes... "
ReplyDeleteAhem. You forgot bodacious tata's.
Facisnating....
ReplyDeleteMaking me smile once again.
ReplyDeleteV
Notice whenever most guys type stuff about bosoms they forget how to spell? Truly fascinating.
ReplyDeleteAs has been referred to above, changing tastes. Read some of Lucius Beebe, esp. "The Big Spenders." In Victorian times, full-figured gals like Lillian Russell, who could keep up with noted gourmand (read: chowhound) Diamond Jim Brady were the rage. I doubt if the famous Floradora Girls were too worried about their diets.
ReplyDeleteEven as late as the 1940s, when Jane Russell was at her peak (peaks?), full-figured gals were still a matter of interest. Cp. "I Like 'Em Fat Like That," by Louis Jordan.
Mansfield and van Doren were pretty much the last of their line, I think, Anna Nicole being perhaps an exception. The society matron type has vanished, along with Peter Arno and that whole world.
um, can you put up more pictures please!
ReplyDeleteYes...this is truly a shame.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame there is a shocking decline of bosoms.
ReplyDeleteuncy ed, you certainly do think of some very important theories when seated upon your theory chair.
ReplyDeleteRobert Anton Wilson wrote a whole book about the topic of boobies. it is titled 'Ishtar Rising' best book i've read yet, not counting 'Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men'. i have a great respect for women and their glorious, glourious mammalian protruberances. many answers they contain and many questions.
Clair, honey, that's Jayne Mansfield's nipples that are showing, not Monroe's. They were both blondes but at that point any similarity ended.
ReplyDeleteOh jeeze, I really did spell fascinating wrong.
ReplyDeleteUh - yeah. I was going to point that error out, too - but its a level of nerdliness that even I can't sink to.
ReplyDeleteI will second mantoe's recommendation of Robert Anton Wilson's "Ishtar Rising" (also called "The Book of the Breast), because it's a fabulous book on one of my favorite subjects. It actually makes you feel good about liking boobs (because in this day and age you're not supposed to). Plus he was an editor at Playboy at one point so he knows his stuff.
ReplyDeleteGeez, that caricature of Elsa Maxwell! So warm, so inviting! I want to burrow into her ambrosial bosom and sleep for a thousand years!
ReplyDeleteWait, we're not supposed to like boobs? When did this happen? I'm glad I didn't get THAT memo.
ReplyDeleteDid you know that the average breast size was 34 B? But it has rose in the last 5 years to 36 C due to breast implants. Ew!
ReplyDeleteKali: I agree...Ew! I hate breast implants! What if guys got bicep implants, i.e., tennis balls surgically implanted in their arms ...would women think that was sexy?
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me that another Halloween is passing without a good set of upper-body foam muscles that men can buy. I was serious about the tennis ball analogy but a muscle shirt, now that's worth having!
Jorge: Slagpole was Wilma's mom!!!??? Son of a gun!
Jennifer: Margaret Dumont...of course! How could I have forgotten!? And someone mentioned Anna Nichole Smith. Well then, the bosom isn't dead after all!
Oh Eddie! Are you going to wear a mask/do something for halloween?
ReplyDeleteKali: This year I was really going to do it up big with lots of artsy, home-made decorations all over the house and lawn but it looks like I won't have time. I'll still fill up the house with traditional decorations and if I'm home I'll be a good host to trick-or-treaters.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you going to do? Art school students probably live for holidays like this.
Art school -bah! I don't remember anyone ever doing anything cool or original the years before. This year might be interesting- I've been spotting this cross-dresser (he cross-dresses like an old lady-think Queen Elizabeth) every other day lately- I know he won't fail us come Halloween!
ReplyDeletegreat tit post, eddie. hope to see you tonight.
ReplyDelete