I just had the weirdest experience! I just spent hours writing what I thought would be my best blog post ever. I was so proud of it that I was going to let it stay up all weekend so readers would have time to re-read it over and over again, and reflect on it. I imagined dads reading it to their kids and the kids being forever changed by it and growing up to be President and all that. I bit my lip the whole time I was writing. Anyway, when it was almost finished, I came to a depressing realization. I just couldn't bear to give it away for free.
I'm determined that, even if it's objectively bad, and even if I only get paid in back issues of some obscure magazine, that I'm going to sell this thing. I've gotta do it, just to say that I did it.
So that leaves me with an unexpected space to fill, and I'm too sleepy to think. Fortunately I have something really neat to share, and here it is...four of the best photos that I've seen lately. The only problem is that I can't remember who did them or even how I discovered them. I hope you like them. I'm not sure if they're even enlargeable.
I hope you're feeling better, Uncle Eddie.
ReplyDeleteI love those candid shots. Where did you get those pics?
I can't wait for that post! This is gonna be SWEEEET.
ReplyDeleteAs for the photos, they're pretty funny. Especially the last two with Bush and Hilary.
On another note: are you writing this while in the hospital, or are you out and about?
Obscure magazine...sounds good to me!
ReplyDeleteGosh Eddie, which newpapaer or magazine is your blog post going to be in? The Los Angeles Times? The New York Times? Entertainment Weekly? The public demands to know!
ReplyDeleteMan, that's funny!
ReplyDeleteas it here: http://www.gmhummer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=854
ReplyDeleteI think that your blog post will be great,for sure!!Just today I check my e-mail and I found This with other celebrities funny gestures:
ReplyDeletehttp://entretenimiento.latam.msn.com/fotogaleria.aspx?cp-documentid=10270600
Regards:-)
Sorry to be a bother, Unc, but after reading your blog for some time I've a question for you that falls within the general category of art/cartooning and consequently would be, I presume, nothing but clutter to anything as specific as a page meant for comments regarding your postings. Trouble is, I can't find any other means to write you - snail mail, e-mail, fax, singing telegram, carrier pigeon, smoke signals, a whisper carried aloft on a gust of sea breeze, anything? insectswillgetyou@gmail.com. In any case, brilliant journal, absolutely love the photos you dig up. Take care, rest up, feel better. Ta.
ReplyDeleteMy God, man! You make it sound like your post will allow people to reach enlightenment! At first I thought you were a little selfish for wanting to sell it, but I can't blame you. Something that good, anyone would sell. Even selfless little ol' Uncle Eddie. Whether it's as good as you say it is, or whether it's awful (I highly doubt the latter), I'll read it when it comes out. But where will it be shown? You must tell us! NOW!! Pretty please?
ReplyDeletegolden pictures. just golden.
ReplyDeleteI can send you a bottlecap and some elastic bands...How are you planning to make us pay?
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better Uncle Eddie. Don't rip your stitches and fall apart all over the carpet!
Josh Heisie
Bush looks like he just mastered a Clutch Cargo vocal impression with his ass.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't mind sharing ten percent of the fee, find a literary agent who specializes in magazines. Show her/him what you've been writing or what you think is your best stuff. They'll place the article for you. Then you have to wait two to nineteen months for the magazine to publish. THEN you get paid.
ReplyDeleteI know what the blog post is called.
ReplyDelete"How to create suspense"
Jennifer: I wish I knew. I should have altered the code name of the photo to include the photographer's name, but I was in a hurry.
ReplyDeletePhantom: I don't know. I haven't looked for a buyer yet.
Oh yeah! Fantastic photos! I love photos that capture those inbetween expressions... eyes in mid-blink, the mouth either not quite limbered into a smile, or else when the smile is beginning to fray.
ReplyDeleteI once took a photo of my mom walking my little niece where her head is huge, her eyes are half-closed and she looks like the undead or a walking corpse of a toddler. The exact opposite of the aesthetic you go for when taking a photo of a cute kid.
Whenever I come across it while rifling through my drawers looking for other things I laugh so hard I almost wet my pants.
We went to a wedding reception one time where someone had the brilliant idea of leaving disposable cameras at every table. I grabbed one up and snapped away, a full roll of candid shots. When I got home from work a few weeks later, my mom was beside herself with anger.
Those were the most unflattering shots of any I'd ever seen. Turkey necks, half-blinks, slack mouths, wrinkles in full evidence, drinks poised close to the mouth where the subject ends up looking like a depraved alcoholic. Just a visual disaster. I could not stop laughing!
"There were more," my mom told me. "But I took out all the ones of me and tore them up AND THREW THEM AWAY!"
Good luck getting your brilliant insights published! I can't wait to read them... please let us know what magazine!
And I hope you're feeling better!
this is in response to your post about misfits..i have always been one of them and i agree about what you said...its been a constant struggle in my life to fit in, to find some compatability with the group mind think...no such luck! i never walked around advertising myself as a misfit..never wore make up or joined a punk rock group or any alternative social/political network..i look ordinary..but when you speak to me the weirdness comes blazing out..i agree with almost no one about anything except maybe you and john k..most of my heroes are writers/artist...i bemoan the lack of real love in our society..and i cherish outmoded ideas such as courtship..honesty..fairplay and integrity. i only ever wanted to be an artist or writer but i get so hung up in daily survival, i get further and further away for iam really capable of..i know there are others like me and it makes me sad..potentially we could enlighten and progress our stagnant society but no one wants to hear or find out..everytime i hear that beach boys song "i guess i just wasnt made for these times" i just say amen brother..amen.
ReplyDelete