LONE STRANGER: "Well, there they are, Pronto! The Dalton Gang. They robbed the stage this morning, and now it looks like they're headed for town to celebrate."
LONE STRANGER: "My guess is that they hid the loot in their hideout.
PRONTO: "Mmmmm, that the logical inference, KemoSappy."
LONE STRANGER: "Pronto! Take this disguise, ride into town, and see if you can find out what they're gonna do next! We'll meet up at their hideout. Nobody's there now so I'll head over and see if I can find out where they hid the loot!"
PRONTO: "(GASP!) Ooooo! You mean that I get to wear the di...you mean that this time I'M the one who...."
PRONTO: "......Yes Sir, Lone Stranger, yes sir! RIGHT AWAY!"
PRONTO: "What a man! He's my HERO!"
LATER AT THE HIDEOUT:
LONE STRANGER: "Nothing there. Nothing here. Oh, Good Grief! Somebody spit in the coffee!"
SFX: OUTSIDE FOOTSTEPS APPROACH THE DOOR.
LONE STRANGER: "Uh-oh! It's the gang!"
LONE STRANGER: "GOTCHA!"
LONE STRANGER: "Rob old ladies, will 'ya!?"
LONE STRANGER: "Prey on the innocent, will you!?"
LONE RANGER: "You wanna stop the progress of the West?"
LONE STRANGER: "Stop this, why don't cha ?"
LONE STRANGER: "Am I inconveniencing you?"
LONE STRANGER: "Oops! Pardon me!""
LONE STRANGER: "TELEGRAM!"
The Lone Stranger reacts to something and drops his guns.
LONE STRANGER: "WAIT!!!!!!"
LONE STRANGER: "Pronto...is...is that you? I didn't recognize you in that disguise!"
PRONTO (GROGGY): "The ship was wasted on the blue morning elves while they hauled lively livers staunchly in the rain, n'est pas?
LONE RANGER: "C'mon Pronto! You don't need an expensive doctor! A little fresh air and you'll be fine!"
LATER: THE STRANGER TALKS TO SOME COWBOYS FROM THE TOWN.
LONE STRANGER: "You say the Dalton Gang was hit by a meteor!? No survivors? Well, it looks like our work here is done, eh Pronto?
PRONTO (STILL INCOHERENT): "The badger's underwear shrieks in the flame while noodles redirect the fish."
LONE STRANGER: "Uh...right! Adios, boys!"
THEY MOUNT UP AND RIDE AWAY.
COWBOY #1: "I didn't get the masked man's name. Who is he?"
COWBOY#2: You didn't recognize him!? Why, I reckon he's known throughout the West."
COWBOY#2 (VO): "That there's ...'THE LONE STRANGER!' "
LONE STRANGER (SHOUTS): HI-Ho SLIVER...and AWAAAAAAYYY!!!!!!
SPLAT!
A giant woman's foot comes into sc. and crushes the duo!
This is by way of an ad for the next Theory Corner photo story: "Valley of the 50 ft. Women."
Post Script: Sorry for the bad photoshopping. I had to cut every corner possible just to finish this thing and get it off my desk. Also, I had to do all the drawing with a mouse. Have you ever tried to draw with those things?
Hahaha that was great!! One of your best yet! Don't apologize for the photoshopping, it was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for Valley of the 50. ft Women if it's good as this!
Marvellous! Worth every minute of the many moons it took to make!
ReplyDeleteHilarious.
ReplyDelete"The badger's underwear shrieks in the flame while noodles redirect the fish." Indeed!
You're a national treasure, Eddie. I always loved that Clampett cartoon (though the Hugh Harman cartoon version gives it a run for the money), and now you've brought it into the digital age. Excellent job!
Another great story you've made.
ReplyDeleteFunny that you used a screen shot from that Punch Out video game.
Dear Uncle Eddie, you have brought me to the edge of demented Nirvana. This is as close to the giddy hysteria I felt as a kid with Harvey Kurtzman's MAD magazine.
ReplyDeleteThanks, it's brilliant!
Nice stuff, Ed!
ReplyDelete- I had to cut every corner possible just to finish this thing and get it off my desk.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't tell, it's great. And yes, drawing with a mouse is torture, I don't know how to circumvent that problem.
Nice work! The b/w frames- really nice. not photo. not cartoon- something else.
ReplyDeleteBut I do like that frame with the blue guns and smoke squiggles.
I'd hang it up!
Everybody: Many thanks for the kind words! Boy, this was fun to do. The creators of the original Lone Ranger were geniuses. You only realize that when you start thinking about how the show was structured, as I had to do here.
ReplyDeleteMy internet went down yesterday because of thede tornadoes that hit my area, so I'm reading the story off my cell phone, and it's quite terrific. I can't wait for the next story and maybe in the future, you could do another cartoon parody. Did you write cool stuff like this when you wrre working on Tiny Toons? I haven't seen the show in many years, but I was just wondering.
ReplyDeleteYeah, don't apologize for the photoshop. It looked great!
ReplyDeleteOne thought Mr. Eddie...
ReplyDeleteThe mouse drawn distortions look so well integrated in the b/w looks; makes me wonder if it will work in color.
If it doesn't, tweaking the color might work, to look kodachrome, or going even further, like Douglas Sirk, or even more than that...
This might sound a bit odd and completely stupid, but you were in my dream last night. We were talking about some Saturday morning cartoon you worked on at Hanna-Barbera with one of those bad, realistic, big human characters in them, what it was like working on that particular show, and a whole bunch of other stuff I can't really recall, while going around town and avoiding the police. The whole time, you made so many funny, cartoony faces, while telling some interesting anecdotes. At one point, your eyes bulged out and everything, exactly like a take from a Tex Avery cartoon. I really don't know why I'm wasting my time to tell you this, but there you go, Eddie.
ReplyDeleteRoberto: Yes, I occassionally appear in other people's dreams...usually when I'm between gigs and my agent thinks the role would expand my repetoire.
ReplyDeleteMichael: A national treasure!? Holy Cow, what a compliment! I told this to my family, but so far I haven't seen a difference in how I'm treated.
Joel: Thanks! I met Kurtzman once at a comics convention. He was alone and an outrageously beautiful girl fan was standing inches away from his face, telling him how great he was, and how she'd do anything to show her devotion.
I stood close beside them hoping to get an autogragh, and impatiently waited for the girl to finish. When she noticed me, the spell was broken, and she apologized and left.
I tried to talk but Harvey was fixated on the girl. He had a cold sweat and just watched her leave the room. She looked pretty good, even from the back.
When he finally turned to me I cheerfully offered him a pen and a cocktail napkin to write on, and he gave me a look like he wanted to kill me. He muttered something like "No autographs!" and lit a cigarette to calm his nerves.
That was my only up close encounter with Harvey Kurtzman. Geez, maybe I'll do a post about it.
Thomas: Interesting idea! I almost did the Kodachrome approach. It might have been a funny look, like everything was shot just before sunset.
Harvey Kurtzman should have been nicer to you. You are carrying his flame all the way to this point in time and he's colder than a mackerel.
ReplyDeleteAnd you hinted at a wonderful concept for a sequel: The Dalton Gang gets hit by a meteor! No one has ever done a celestial body collision with an outlaw gang, that I know of. Not even Spade Cooley.