AURALYNN RANTS ABOUT SHEETS

INT. MALL: 

AURALYNN: "Alright, you're wondering what I wanted you to see in this department store. I'll give you a hint: it has to do with something you said on your blog."

EDDIE: "My blog? Really?" 

AURALYNN: "Yeah. Follow me!"

EDDIE: "Auralynn, wait a minute! Let me try out this sofa. Ooooooh, man! This feels good! The problem is, if I allowed myself to be this comfortable in front of a TV, I'd turn into a couch potato."

AURALYNN: "How 'bout a shot for Roberto?"

AURALYNN: "Cheekster panties or cotton hipster? What do you think I should get, Eddie?"

EDDIE: "Er...what I think is that somebody I know is going to come along and I'll have to dive under the counter."

AURALYNN: "Okay, down to business! What we want is riiiiiiight around this corner......"

AURALYNN: "Okay, here we are! This is what I wanted to show you. This...THIS...is what a real bed looks like! You see how inviting this is? This is what I tried to tell you about the other day. THIS is the kind of thing girls like: quality white sheets, double pillows for each person, and a big old white comforter."

AURALYNN: "I can't believe how many men expect their girlfriends to get all worked up about jumping into a bed that looks like like an army cot. Girls hate that! On your blog you mentioned clean white sheets. That's not anywhere near enough! Tell the Theory Corner people that we're girls! We like beautiful things! Tell the guys to get a real bed with real sheets!"

AURALYNN: "(Sigh!) I love to let myself fall backward onto something big and fluffy (*Sigh*) It's like...falling...into.......a cloud."

EDDIE (VO): "It looks great, but what if a guy's strapped for cash?"

AURALYNN: "It doesn't cost much. Now here's what you need: 700 or 800 thread white cotton sheets, probably Queen size. Queen is the smallest bed that'll hold two people."

AURALYNN: "This looks like a good set: one fitted sheet, one flat sheet, and two pillow cases; 700 threads. It's on sale for $109...$90 if you have the newspaper coupon. That's a good price."

LATER, AT THE FOOD COURT:

AURALYNN: "So, did you like the sheets?"

EDDIE: "Yeah, they're great. Right now my whole family sleeps under sheets with pictures of animals and fire engines on them. That's what happens when you have kids. But you're right about the sheets."