One day an asteroid might hit the Earth and all records of the 1970s might be wiped out except for the references to it in my blog. I figure if that's the case, then I better give some serious thought as to what should be preserved. For the sake of posterity I've chosen two phenomena that I believe the future will be interested in:1) In the 70s men wore middle-aged ladies' hairstyles!!!!!!!!!! The housewives you used to see on Monty Python...the ones with purses that they used to use to hit people with?...they were visionary trendsetters, way ahead of their time. All over America men longed to have hair like they had. No, it wasn't just Ronald MacDonald (above)...
...it was everybody! Why should little old ladies have all the fun?!
The middle-aged lady hair styles were believed to work best with plaid pants and package-revealing crotches (above)! The wall paper the guy is leaning on was everywhere. It was believed to go well with floppy, leatherette sofas and rounded coffee tables. You still see this paper in barber shops and men's rooms.
2) In the 70s women developed a way to show their packages too! I guess women were dismayed because they had no packages to show off. They wanted to have fun too! This was remedied with the invention of camel-toe pants. At first camel-toes were found only on leisure wear...
...then the formal camel toe appeared. Now you could be a hard-hitting executive and still let the guys in the boardroom know you're a girl!
Over time camel toes could be found everywhere: In TV audiences, in supermarkets, even in church.I hope somebody seals a hard copy of this in a time capsule and buries it in their backyard.
Eddie, what a visionary genious you are! On behalf of the people of the world, I thank you for preserving this influential part of our rich cultural heritage.
ReplyDeletehahahhahahahahahhah... i can't stop laughing eddie! but i'm also kind of excited by bouffants and buldges, I won't lie. I prefer old lady hair, mods, and some brands of mullets on dudes. I apologize.
ReplyDeletecome look at my blog again?
In those days I owned one pair of bell bottom pants. They were black and decorated with silver rivets, and sparkled like the golden calf. I never had the nerve to wear them, even though everyone else was wearing something similar. Something stopped me. Some still, small voice. I now realize that voice was the best and the highest within me.
ReplyDeleteI believe that last one is more appropriately referred to as a front-butt, Uncle Eddie.
ReplyDeleteI just cut my old lady hair, I have my photos at least to preserve it in my time capsule. I loved the comments Eddie, you and John should use the basis of this article for a future spumco cartoon plot/subject (I would definitely would love to see the drawings!!!).
ReplyDeleteFOUL!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I'm totally going to draw that last picture. Thanks Eddie!
ReplyDeleteYou are eeeeeeeeee-vil, Uncle Eddie! Just eeeeeeeeee-vil!!
ReplyDeleteYou would have been a young man in the 70s, Uncle Eddie. Did you sport the bouffant and bulge when you were frequenting Studio 54? :)
Holy crap Eddie! Thats some funny stuff..
ReplyDeleteJennifer: Glad you asked! NO! I had long hair for a while but it wasn't in an old lady style. I had a mild buldge but don't blame me; that's the way they made pants in those days!
ReplyDeleteMarlo: Great drawings on your blog! I'm soooooo glad you're putting up stuff again!
When it was decided among men with long hair, that there should be some hair stylin', the only stylists around that knew long hair at all were little old lady stylists.
ReplyDeleteTraditional Barbers had a tough time of it. No one wanted a butch, or a crew any more.
Camel toe may very well have been around in the seventies, but most were too busy noticing the newly freed nipples, even with songs like short shorts on the charts.
Kelly Ripa! Camelicious! She's the Queen of Camelot!
ReplyDeleteJust trying out some memorable dialog. :D
wow...I never expected a post on camel toes. I am officially impressed. And turned on.
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me Eddie. Posts ranging from acting classes to story to cameltoes. What a wide variety to think about! Except for that last cameltoe pic. Almost made me vomit! Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteA "formal" cameltoe! Hahahaha!
ReplyDeleteCynthia
I think that last picture cured me of any sexual desire I had in my body.
ReplyDeleteMy uncle permed his hair for as long as I can remember. He kept it until the early 90's when he was going through all sorts of treatment for throat cancer. When my sister-in-law saw him when everyone came together when my father died he told her that after his cancer treatment his hair came out straight. She believed him, and he felt so sorry for her he told her the truth. I think he should have let her believe him.
The movie 'Little Miss Sunshine' contains a great bit about cameltoes.
ReplyDeletenice 'snap'kakakkaka...wow
ReplyDelete