HOW WOMEN DISGUISE FAT

The other day I was at the library and spotted a picture book called "Sexy." I immediately took it off the shelf because I thought it would be full of pictures of naked women. It wasn't. What it was, was a book about the way women should dress to compensate for physical defects. It was fascinating! Women on this site know about this stuff already but I thought I'd publish an example for the education of my fellow males who are probably as clueless as I am about this subject.

OK, here's (above) the problem body. The woman is short and has a rectangular body, rather than the classic hourglass. Her legs aren't bad so she has that going for her, but not much else.

According to the book this (above) is the kind of clothing she should most avoid. The long dress covers her greatest asset, her legs, and the thin, clinging fabric emphasizes the thick torso. The tiny straps make the shoulders appear narrow and fat.

Here's (above) what the book recommends: Cover the shoulders and arms to cover the fat. The broad, horizontal neck on the blouse makes the shoulders seem wider and the low waist line takes our attention away from the width of the real waistline. Finally, the long pants over heels makes the legs seem even taller and thinner and the heavy fabrics don't cling.

I don't know about you but I regard this as an amazingly effective bit of camoulflage.

The author was obviously a master illusionist so I was anxious to see what he'd do with a really challenging subject. I looked for a truly fat woman but the best I could come up with was a short, plump woman with thick legs (above). The solution was so similar to the previous one that I won't bother printing it here. What I will do is put up the picture of the clothes the author said the woman should avoid. I'm putting it up because I disagree.

I grant that the frilly, thin-strapped dress makes the woman look wide, but is that wrong? I like it because it says about the wearer that she's dressing in a deliberately flamboyant way to attract a man. She looks a little vulnerable to ridicule and the vulnerability makes her sexy.

I like people who need people and aren't afraid to be explicit about it. A guy who wears a loud disco shirt to a dance is doing the same thing. At work, during the day, by all means be tasteful. At night, on a date, dress like a peacock in heat.