This (above) is one of my all-time favorite movie stills: Marie Dressler as the dowager in "Dinner at Eight." One of these days I'll frame this so I can have it on my desk in whatever office I'm working in.
Of course I'll have to dress like this (above), so I can play my part. That's me playing Max Fleischer in a photo essay I did last year.
The idea is to pass the desk picture off as being my wife. My real wife doesn't look or act this way at all, but she'll have to take an undeserved fall, because in classic cartoons middle-aged men are always married to battle axes who they address as "Schnookums," and "Sweetie Puss."
I'm a cartoonist, so the tradition must be honored.
Writing about this age thing got me to thinking about the subject of grey hair and how aging affects the face.
Writing about this age thing got me to thinking about the subject of grey hair and how aging affects the face.
I only have womens' pictures to illustrate this, so I'll pick on them. Most women don't know how to to make their faces look good after 40.
...but when you get older (above) your face tends to flatten out. This coincides with the skin becoming dry and wrinkled. Women ignore the face flattening and try to compensate for the skin problem by layering on tons of make-up, but this comes from a misunderstanding of the problem.
The main problem isn't wrinkles, it's the flattening of the face. A flat face does even more than wrinkles to make you look older ("older" as I use it here doesn't refer to the characteristics of extreme old age, which are different). Putting on lots of make-up (above) only makes that worse. The extra color evens out the facial color and makes it seem even more flat and featureless. Worse yet, women compensate for the enhanced flatness by putting extra make-up on the eyes, something that doesn't work at all. The diversion is too obvious, too artificial.
The odd thing is that nature already compensates for wrinkles by making middle-aged flesh more textured and ruddy. The increased and uneven texture takes the observer's eye to interesting places all around the face, and prevents him from seeing the overall flattening. Nature gave middle-aged women ruddy faces to compensate for the wrinkles, but a lot of women refuse the gift.
Middle-aged women also need to re-discover grey hair. Grey makes the skin seem even ruddier by contrast, and that makes the face look younger. I know what you're thinking; grey hair is universally recognized as a sign of aging. That's true, but it's also true that people who look at you close up will judge your age more by the face than the hair. Grey hair may be an attempt by nature to prolong beauty, not put an end to it.
Before I leave this subject, I can't resist reminiscing about old ladies I've known. When I was a kid I encountered a lot who struck me as mean and frightening. Oddly enough, when I got to be an older teenager I saw fewer women like this. I think it's because I stopped doing the things that irritated them, and began to see their sweeter side.
I was born too late to see old ladies with waxed fruit on their hats (above), but I did see quite a few who had other kinds of cartoony hats, and I got to see lots of Olive Oyle dresses. They were mostly nice people with incredibly sunny dispositions. They had lots of friends their own age, and weren't stay-at-homes unless they were forced to be. They worked hard, had enormous dignity, and were universally respected.
Helen Mirren is middle-aged? Well, no matter, she's well-preserved, as they say.
ReplyDeleteInspired me to start taking better care. But I'll keep my lines, crinkles and all, it makes one look interesting.
I love middle aged women. One of my favourite news anchors is Alex Witt from MSNBC. She's actually pretty young, only 44 years old, but looks older than she really is, which makes her even sexier.
ReplyDeleteChrist, what the fuck is wrong with me?
Interesting stuff, I never noticed how faces flatten. It seems like there was a time when the women who knew they weren't pretty scowled even more (woman in first photo). Now instead of wearing intriguing hats, women tend to make their hair look big which always seems odd.
ReplyDeleteOne gray haired lady who looks great is Emmylou Harris, possibly because her hair is straight and long. Helen Mirren, from the start of her film career (in "The Age of Consent") insisted on getting naked in most of her movies, a tradition she proudly continues to this day, a rarity for her age group.
ReplyDeleteWas Don Martin influenced by Milt Gross?
ReplyDeleteNice post, Uncle Eddie. As I'm about to approach the "middle years" in a few years, I'm starting to notice that I had to change a few things that I do for my appearance because of my age.
ReplyDeleteI have a few comments:
- Helen Mirren and the woman in the picture above Ms. Mirren's look really good. Those pictures prove that a woman doesn't have to try to look "young" to be beautiful.
- I slightly agree with your comment about grey hair. If the hair is 100% grey (almost white), it looks really good. However, if it isn't 100% grey, it looks "aging".
- Men are lucky because most of them actually get better looking as they get older.
The eyes are always a dead give away.
ReplyDeleteJorge: ...........okay.
Sorry, off topic. About funny faces, though.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the (official) World's Smallest Man?
Smallest Man, He Pingping
I expected either a hideous deformed individual, or another Vern Troyer, but he's actually a very funny looking fella! And a funny name, to boot!
Jorge Garrido said... ...what the fuck is wrong with me?
ReplyDeleteNothing at all, Jorge, nothing at all.
Another future topic you may want to discuss, Eddie, is how some people go out of their way to make their face not look old. The results can be quite spectacular here and here.
Jorge, good to hear, since I'm creeping slowly into that category!
ReplyDeleteI have always thought that men didn't hit their stride looks-wise until their 40's, but I guess it's more common for women to like older men.
I never thought of the face flattening thing. Perhaps it is a slow shift of fat...it slowly slips down the face and into the hips and thighs over time. :)
Cynthia
tangoland.com
I'll bet that waxed fruit on hats and possibly waxed fruit on all forms of clothes will come back in style here pretty soon. Maybe in the twenty teens. I wonder if guys will get into it too...though that could get crude.
ReplyDeleteSkin, being as amazing as it is, has always fascinated me. Its interesting how it creases and gets permanant damage. I often wonder what I will look like in my 40's and 50's. dashing I hope...
Jennifer: Better as they get older!? Haw! You're going to get hit on a lot when guys read that!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you're right about salt and pepper grey denoting aging. Susan Sontag made it work for her, but maybe she was an exception.
Cynthia: Over 40 looks better!? That's similar to what Jennifer said! Gee, I wish I'd heard things like this when I had my mid-life crisis. It might have eased the pain a little.
Last: Wow! She IS well-preserved! The plastic surgery pictures were interesting. Boy, you risk a lot when you get that done!
ReplyDeleteDarby: Smaller than a fire Hydrant? Man, that's small!
http://howoldareyou.net/
ReplyDeleteAn older friend of mine gave me some life changing advice once. He pointed out that laugh lines engrain themselves on your face, and so do frown lines around the mouth or lines around the eyes from scowling.
ReplyDeleteThis simple fact has not only shaped my future face, it gives me a tool for cold reading adults.
Mean faces always look older than happy older faces.
Interesting observations:
ReplyDeleteIn prime face has lots of hills and valleys,when getting older face tends to flatten out.Can we apply this to men's faces too?
Physique/build is a major factor. Also, if you are fair haired, fair skinned - both for men and women - this can make you look younger. I'm in my early forties: I've smoked since early teens, drunk a fair bit (but not too much) over the years, spent a large part of my life existing on less sleep than recommended. I eat whatever I wish - junk food, whatever; I have crows feet , laughter lines and I've had and seen my fair share of rough breaks. Yet people often think I look 5 or ten years younger than I am. I'm naturally trim, rarely have to work out, but I've always been active - walking particularly. My face is neither 'chubby' nor gaunt. I do not have small, soft, young looking hands. I have a slightly receded hairline c/w being say 20 but I have a good head of hair and no male pattern baldness. I usually dress slightly scruffy casual, and I'm usually clean shaven or just a few days growth (if I grew a beard it would be a full face). My hair color these days is brown with some grey at the sides, and a tinny bit on top, if i grow it longer. Why so many people have said I look younger than my age is a mistery to me as, when I look in the mirror, I look my age.
ReplyDelete