THE EX-BOYFRIEND

INT. RESTAURANT: Lunch time.

Magnolia (Voice Over): "Yeah, all my boyfriends have been losers!"

Magnolia: "Oh, I don't mean you...I just mean...well, I have to wear dark glasses so they don't recognize me. What pests!"

Magnolia: "Really? You think it's okay to take them off here? Well, er...it is pretty crowded...I guess nobody could..."

Magnolia: "Yeah, nobody's gonna see me here! I'll do it!"

Fred (V.O.): "Magnolia! There you are!"

Magnolia: "Oh, Good Grief!"

Magnolia: "Hi, Fred. Fancy meeting you here!"

Fred (V.O.): "Magnolia, let's stop the pretense. I know that you're aware of me. For a long time I've watched you secretly. But for the past few days I've stopped hiding, and now I know that the moment has come."

Magnolia: "Um...the moment?"

Fred (V.O.): "Yes. You see, before discovering you I never loved anybody."

Fred (V.O.): But between us things will be different. "

Fred (V.O.): "We'll be the example for others to follow."

Fred (V.O): We'll never leave each other, not even for an hour."

Fred (V.O.): I don't work and have no responsibilities in life."

Fred (V.O.): "You will be my sole pre-occupation."

Fred (V.O.): "I understand that this is too sudden for you to say yes at once...that you would first have to break off your provisional attachments to provisional people."

Magnolia: "Well, actually it is just a little...."

Fred (V.O): "Just remember...I AM DEFINITIVE. I must go now."

Magnolia: Definitive...yes...definitive. Well, See you around Fred."

Magnolia: "Watch out for traffic!"

Magnolia: "Don't look the other way when a car comes!"

Magnolia: "Bye, now! Don't fall down any manholes!

Magnolia: "Is he gone?"

Magnolia: "Hey, the waiter didn't give us water! What kind of restaurant is this!?"

BTW: Dialogue is an altered version of a piece by Francois Truffaut.