Wednesday, September 23, 2009

WHAT KIND OF GLASSES TO GET?






I know, I know...the banner looks terrible [this doesn't refer to what's up there now, which is an improved version...more about that later]. I'll fix it, I'm just too sleepy to do it now. I have Photoshop but don't know how to use it yet, so I have to find a solution that gets around that. Oh, well...

Tomorrow I have to get glasses. I met Mike and John for dinner and they had strong opinions about it. John usually favors horn rims, but this time he recommended Buddy Holly glasses. He and Mike were also partial to nerd glasses, which they assured me are back in style. I said my wife hates nerd glasses and they gave me a big talk about asserting myself, letting her know who wears the pants in the family, etc.

Back at home I asked my wife if she still felt the same about nerd glasses. She said that yes, she did...and would still step on them if I got them. My daughter said she'd do the same for my own good. They asked me whether I was a man or a mouse and gave me a rousing speech about how I should think for myself and not be John and Mike's toady.

You see my problem. It's my curse to live around people who have strong opinions about burgers and eyeglasses.



Me, I like Madison Avenue adman's glasses from the 50s, but nobody makes them anymore. I'd accept 50s hipster glasses (above), the kind that Clampett wore. They're a comedown from adman but they're still suave and you still see them on the street sometimes. I don't want wire frames because they mangle too easy.



Maybe round glasses like Ward Kimball or Dominick Dunne, the guy who used to host a crime show about rich people who kill each other.



Maybe flat, boxy glasses like Michael Caine wore in "The Ipcress File."



Maybe boxy granny glasses?



Above, some glasses that Mike F. recommended. I kinda like that pair on the bottom right. They probably cost a zillion bucks.



Mike sent these (above) too. I don't know...I don't see anything that says "me."

Groan! This is so depressing.

Wait a minute....


Whooooa! Just when I was mired in depression over the glasses problem, Mark Simonson came in to save me from my banner problem with a professionally-done logo that put my previous one to shame! Mark, I don't know how to thank you enough...so I'll let Mildred do the thanking. That's Mildred above. Mildred. would you step up to the camera and convey our thanks to Mark?




44 comments:

  1. choose the michael caine glasses Ed! They're so cool:P

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  2. hi eddie
    long time reader ( im going to have to get glasses ,the internet is ruining my eyes)first time commenter, how bout John Lennon glassesjust to make John K get jealous and start yelling
    Cheers
    Rob
    Ps I think your blog is bloody fantastic thankyou

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  3. How to choose glasses that suit your face shape:
    Chart here

    (Personally, I think the Harold Lloyd look is classic. Neither too radical, nor too played-out.)
    Sample here

    ...Now quit kvetching and "man up", wuss!

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  4. Hey Uncle Eddie your banner isn't that bad! I love that you're using your Gertrude/Hortense/crazy old spinster character!

    Regarding glasses - here's a cool link to help you choose glasses based on your face shape.

    From what I can tell in your picture, you're a lot like me. We both have round faces. The rectangular glasses would look fabulous on you. Even the glasses that Michael Caine's wearing in the picture in your blog would work because they're pretty angular and they're dark frames. The Buddy Holly glasses are still pretty round, and it would emphasize the roundness of your face. The retro horned rimmed glasses (like John wears) would probably also emphasize a round face because they're typically rounder in shape.

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  5. Those boxy nerd glasses Michael Caine wore in "Ipcress File" are the version considered ultra cool now. Justin Timberlake wore such a pair on Sunday night's Emmy broadcast as a presenter. John Mayer has been seen in them when not on stage. But David Letterman wears a pair of archaic nerd glasses in the correct 1950's color, which he must have had custom made. I hear that guy has money.

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  6. Anonymous7:54 AM

    Everytime I see anyone with those wide boxy emo granny glasses I want to curb stomp them.

    I have browline glasses, that turn into sunglasses in the sun. Like Mr. Orange (Tim Roth) wore in Reservoir Dogs. Malcolm X also had a pair like that.

    I like John's horn rim glasses, and Barry Goldwater glasses. Buddy Holly glasses I never liked.

    What are nerd glasses? Glasses like Barry Goldwater?

    The round glasses look so old-fashioned, but not in a classic way. It's one step up from steampunk.

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  7. Anonymous7:58 AM

    I forgot to mention that I was actually thinking about this the other day, but I noticed that when big sunglasses are in style, small eyeglasses are in style, and vice-versa. Right now the style is to have short, boxy, wide emo eyeglasses with big thick frames, and the entire outside width of the frames tapers into the temple. But most girls I know get really big, wide sunglasses.

    But in the 90s, Tom Cruise MI:II style sunglasses were in style, and most people had much taller eyeglasses.

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  8. Nerd glasses ARE totally back in style. I'd think at least your daughter would know about that!

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  9. just get that laser surgery, Eddie! That'd show EVERYBODY!

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  10. Try a number of frames at the shop, and pick the ones you like in the mirror. After all, you're the person who's going to see them every time you look in the mirror.

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  11. Anonymous12:31 PM

    "nerd glasses" were cool on guys like Buddy Holly but now they're associated with bland 20-something guys who listen to mushy indyrock

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/this_american_life_completes

    stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

    John K manages to pull off the Buddy Holly look but I dont think they'd work for you. Try getting a really stylish pair of wire frames

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  12. Anonymous12:42 PM

    I completely sympathize with the oldstyle Harold Lloyd look you're going for but that look has been coopted by indy d-bags, Ive gotta say Im with Jorge and your wife on this.

    Those glasses give off more of a "I blog about classic nintendo games and They Might Be Giants" vibe than a Mad Men one.

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  13. Anonymous12:44 PM

    I dont want to give a blanket condemnation of those glasses, theres some perfectly awesome people who wear them

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  14. Ah, a pet subject of mine. Brace yourself for an ESSAY:

    Well, in the first place yes, they DO make "adman" or whatever glasses. EVERY retro style is not only available, they are so prevalent that anywhere besides a Lenscrafters carries cheap knockoff versions of all the retro styles.

    Second: what on earth is the difference between "Buddy Holly", "Nerd" and "horn rimmed" types? I quote from someplace called wisegeek.com:
    "To this day singer Buddy Holly of the 1950s is easily characterized by impressionists because of the black, thick-framed horn-rimmed glasses he wore."

    See? Holly's WERE horn-rims-which ARE the quintessential "geek" or "nerd" style!

    Third: You write that John & Mike told you to get such & such. Then that your wife and kid said no, do THIS. Fie on all of 'em!

    But what to YOU want to wear? Do you have an opinion? Seems to me you're a mouse if you insist on ping-ponging between what two separate camps think, wouldnt't you agree?

    Though what Jennifer says is THE accepted wisdom on choosing frames, I have to differ and I really think I'm right: the old trope about "round faces should shoose square frames" (which is presumably to avoid looking rounder)is a myth, really. People's faces aren't like those countour drawings in the fashion books and magazine articles of the 40s.

    All of us, even the "round-faced" have other unique features that have a much bigger overall effect on how glasses look on us: our hair color and length, the tone of our skin, the size of our features--our eyes (are the big or small?), eyebrows (arched or straight?), mouth, and especially our noses. Even chins play a role in how the glasses look.

    And what's more, the shape of the face is different than the shape of the head--I might have a flat head, an oval or a very high-foreheaded round skull.

    This is all hard-won experience talking, believe me. I've tried and even once gone against my gut and bought "rectangular" frames--and never worn them because they just do not suit me. At all.
    They look awful, in any color and with any size frame. Should work like a charm but it's the opposite. Funny-I've found that (although I don't wear them now) men's frames seem to look better on my face than "women's".

    And finally, it's all about the look you want to project. Ward Kimball had a very roundish face with a squared-off head, even rounder as he aged. I doubt anyone would have told him to pick the circle frames he wore from the 70s onward, but he wanted an effect, an impression--he had no illusions about looking "handsome". Betty as I recall also wore round ones but nothing like as strong as Ward's. But be Ward--wear what YOU want and the hell with the peanut gallery.

    So? What do you want?

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  15. Anonymous3:03 PM

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/this_american_life_completes

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  16. Why dont'cha get one of those Groucho glasses with the fake nose and mustache? Get a prescription pair and I'll pay for it, but you have to promise to wear them at weddings and funerals.

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  17. Oh jesus, Mike! Do you have to give him those ideas?
    Anyway don't worry--I'll bet he's already looked into it--and probably brought along his coke-bottle-bottom trick pair as well. GAWD.

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  18. this place is located in the east village, nyc. it's a great source for vintage, and even new "vintage style" glasses.

    http://store.fabulousfannys.com/catalog

    i know it's hard to pick out glasses online, but i thought you might appreciate at least just looking.

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  19. My first pair of glasses were that black-rimmed look, a style called "T-Man" which I recall was short for "Today's Man". I've been thinking about getting reading glasses in that style.

    Also, since you are having trouble with Photoshop, I thought I would help out. If you like one of these, feel free to use it:

    Banner 1

    Banner 2

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  20. Get the craziest glasses and surprise us all! Maybe white frames?

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  21. GO FOR THE MARK MOTHERSBAUGH LOOK!

    OMG YES!

    MARK ONE

    MARK TWO

    MARK THREE

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  22. Ha! Nice cropping. I love your blog even more now.

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  23. MARK: THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! i was sooooo glad to get this!

    You did a great job! The lettering really pops out and seems to float infront of my nose. It was so funny that I laughed out loud when I saw it! It reminds me a little of the floating lettering in one of the Sergio Leonne westerns...light and airy and comically elegant. I hope you do film titles because you obviously have a knack for it.

    I spent some time on your site and others that you linked to. Man, you've got this stuff down! That Monstro (spelled right?) font was very impressive!

    Once again, many thanks. I'll use both samples that you sent, probably fooling round with the cropping just because experimenting is such fun. I noticed that your cropping gave me the biggest laugh.

    If I do a post on typography, can I mention ideas and use a couple of pictures from your site? With attribution, of course! If you'd rather I didn't, I'll refrain. I imagine designers keep that kind of thing close to the vest sometimes.

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  24. Every time I come back there's a different banner!

    I liked the earlier one!

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  25. I would love to read your thoughts about typography. The thing I love about your blog is how wide ranging your interests are. I never know what topic I'll find before I hit the link to your page.

    I'm so glad you like the design. It's kind of what I do. I'm also interested in animation and cartooning, which is what led me here at first.

    I was kind of thinking about film titles (because you've made some interesting posts about film) but the type choice was a reference to the kind of stuff you might see on comedy albums or cartoons at one time. It's one of the fonts Mad used with Don Martin's stuff. And it had to go between your eyes. I was aiming for laffs.

    Ha! This made my evening. So cool.

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  26. Anonymous10:37 PM

    Anything but round glasses. The lens turns around in the frames and can potentially mess up your vision - big time.

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  27. Let's, Anon: Thanks! But John Lennon wore wire frames. They mangle too easy.

    Jorge: For me, nerd glasses mean plastic horn rims (mildly horn-rimmed) that are dark on the top and transparent underneath, like the guy below Buddy Holly is wearing.

    Thomas, Whit: Yeah, they are kind of fashionable now! I'm considering it.

    Kris: Haw! I'll tell her what you said!

    Anon, Anon, Anon: Maybe i'll be stuck with wire frames just because nothing else looks right. I did a photo essay on Max Fleischer abot a year and a half ago, and the glasses looked OK. Even so, they're impracticle. Wireframes only last about three or four months on me. They're transparent on chair seats and I sit on them.

    The "I blog about Nintendo games" comment was priceless.

    Kali: Thanks for the ideas. if i was going to wear light-colored frames I'd go for the Louis Jordan look!

    Hmmmm....maybe the thinner banner ratio worked better. it's hard to choose. The bigger one is funnier but takes up a lot of screen, especially if you have lot of toolbars. I'll try different sizes.

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  28. Jennifer, Mike: Many thanks for the charts! I took notes! I like the chart that said that people with big noses need big lenses to deflect attention away from the schnoze.

    Harold lloyd looked great! He wore Kimball glasses with thinner frames.

    Jenny: That WAS an essay, but it was all interesting! True, a lot of factors come into play. Maybe I should want my nose to look big and should wear tiny glasses to emphasize that. I am a cartoonist after all.

    Anon: The good old Onion! Those guys probably have a million TV deals now.

    Mike: Perscription Groucho glasses and you'll pay? I'm ordering right now!

    Kali{ Actually the black glasses you put up are my favorites so far. To heck with what people think!

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  29. hey eddie, have you seen this?

    http://labs.mppark.jp/hige/

    you upload a photo of yr face and it turns it into a moving 3D-ish portrait. pretty cool.

    actually, i think i ended up on some other link where they had something like that but you can put different types of glasses on yr photo. it was called "virtual glasses", but i've no idea how i came across it.

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  30. MJA: Many thanks! Man, i wish I could go there! It's hard to judge without trying them on, but there were lots of interesting samples!

    Jack: Fascinating! That'll get a million hits in two weeks!

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  31. Caine's glasses are tops but they don't fit your personality Eddie. Get the Kimball ones.

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  32. Anonymous4:41 AM

    Eddie: Oooooh, you mean Jeff Goldblum glasses! That look is alright.

    http://weblogs.amny.com/entertainment/urbanite/blog/85412731.jpg

    Eddie, how about taking cues from the great film directors? Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese have similar glasses. Marty's are sort of more "new wave," which influenced the emo look.

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  33. Anonymous7:12 AM

    You can get special twisty frame unbreakable glasses

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  34. I've got it. A custom pair with one rectangular frame for one eye and one round one for the other. In case someone doesn't like your profile view, just whip around and amaze them while simultaneously shutting them up. The other alternative is the big round or rectangular monoframe, with a window before both of your eyes that attaches to your head with a hole for the nose. Why isn't this a public eye care option?

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  35. Anonymous12:03 PM

    http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3181/2793147833_516c631a01.jpg

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  36. Anonymous12:16 PM

    Get two monocles, doubly classy

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  37. mike: hahahaha! what a ridiculous find!

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  38. "Mildred" iiiiissss.....Ann Bancroft? Maybe I don't know my old Hollywood leading ladies well enough.

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  39. Ya gotta go for the whole look, Eddie. You can't just half do it!

    Try these...

    (I think the lower left one is really you. Sort of a "Moscow in the Winter" look, with a genderbender frame motif...)

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  40. IDRC: Wow! I'm so grateful for that! It actually did help me to pick out something! Many thanks!!!!!

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  41. Oh, you simply MUST let us see the new you!

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  42. IDRC: Well, actually i postponed buying the glasses for a week or so just so I could take into account the input I got from friends, including you. I'll try to post some of the pictures you made and link to the Dangerous Potatoe site.

    How did you make those pictures, by the way? Does the store have a program for putting glasses on faces or did you resort to Photoshop?

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  43. I used Corel. Sorta like Photoshop.

    Now that you mention it, they are starting to do that where you upload a pic of yourself and you can put glasses on it.

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