THIS MONTH'S ISSUE OF "THEORYBOY"

WARNING! Nothing obscene here, but it's not office safe!

I had a killer idea for facial analysis so I went to the best face site I know, which is a porn menu that only puts faces up. I was surprised to find several faces that looked really...really...I don't know...BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS! I guess taking your clothes off for a living isn't as much fun as people think it is.

When I clicked on the pictures I was taken to a site which apparently is a dumping ground for photo sessions gone awry. It was the Island of the Dead. Everybody looked they'd rather be someplace other than where they were. I have to confess that it was kind of a turn on...maybe because it reminded me of girls who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was in school. Now I get to see what I missed! And so do you.



Sorry about the censorship! I want to keep my "G' rating.

Who have I seen file her nails like this before? Maybe Lois Lane in Mad's "Superduperman!"

Aaargh! Icy cold!

This girl (above) is visibly falling asleep while undressing.

This girl (above) regards herself as too cool to be naked. This brings back painful memories of a date I had with a hippie girl who considered herself many levels of hip above the level I was at. That's okay. I respect that. I mean, you can't have pretenders running around trying to foist themselves off on their betters.

Unbelievable! I might know this woman (above)! In fact, she might be a relative! I always suspected that she had some kind of weirdness in her life. Boy, if it's her then that's going to make Thanksgiving dinner awkward.