None of the pies last very long.
UNCLE EDDIE: "Er....Grandma, are you feeling calm now?"
GRANDMA: "Yeah, I love to watch the family eat on Thanksgiving."
UNCLE EDDIE: "Really? You're completely at ease, at one with the universe?"
GRANDMA: "Sure. Why do you ask?"
UNCLE EDDIE: "Well, I was thinking of poor Cousin Lester and his friends out there in the bushes, and....."
GRANDMA (FURIOUS): "YOU MEAN THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE!!!???"
She grabs a bat and runs outside.
Grandma: "Those good-for-nothings! I'll KILL them! I'll MURDERIZE 'em!"
INSIDE: the dog steals Grandma's food.
ALSO INSIDE, AT THE TABLE:
GRANDPA: "Haw! Go get 'em Grandma! ....Geez, I can't talk with these false teeth getting in the way."
He plops the teeth in his drinking glass.
GRANDPA: "I'll just put them in water for awhile."
Everybody stops eating..
GRANDPA: "What's the matter? Why isn't anybody eating? Aren't you hungry?"
EVERYBODY (TURNING GREEN AT THE SIGHT OF THE TEETH): "All of a sudden we're not so hungry."
GRANDMA'S FRIEND TRUDY: "You're hungry, alright! I'm not gonna let that food go to waste!"
PIMPLETINA: "EEEEEEEWW!!!!! There's a piece of vegetable on my meat! I'm not gonna eat this X%$#X stuff!"
PIMPLETINA: (WAILS)
PIMPLETINA'S MOM: "Listen, young lady! You're gonna eat every bit of that, or else!"
PIMPLETINA: "Or else, WHAT!???"
Pimpletina socks her mom and her mom socks her back.
The room divides into two angry camps and a food fight breaks out.
Beauregard stands up, attempts to make peace.
BEAUREGARD: "Hey, hey, hey! Let's handle this like civilized human beings!"
Howie slaps a pie into Beauregard's face.
HOWIE: "Shut up, Beauregard!"
The food fight intensified into a full-scale riot.
So that's it. I couldn't snap any pictures after that. All in all it was a great Thanksgiving. Boy, I love that holiday!
BTW: This is a work of fiction and none of the pictures belong to me. All are copyrighted by the original photographers or the subsequent buyers.
Man Eddie, you sure know how to celebrate Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteDamn, white people, you scary!
ReplyDeleteSeverin: Well, actually I spent last Thanksgiving with friends whose house doesn't resemble this one. I wonder how the trailers in the photo came to be arranged that way?
ReplyDeleteEddie, you sure know how to make up the funniest stories. This whole thing was a complete farce in a good way. I can certainly imagine this being animated as a Thanksgiving cartoon or something like that.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Uncle Eddie!
ReplyDeleteAbout the picture above the caption "EVERYBODY (TURNING...":
Where did you get that photo? In the middle is Craig Benzine a.k.a. WheezyWaiter (from YouTube)! It looks like a MySpace photo or something!
Great stuff, Eddie! How will Christmas ever beat that?
ReplyDeleteBlak: Wheezywaiter!? I just looked up the videos, and it looks like you're right!
ReplyDeleteJorge: Yes, we white people are interesting specimens!
Steven, Roberto, Pappy: Thanks!
Laugh out loud funny! Oops, I meant lol. Anyway, thanks and Happy Holidays.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun way to celebrate Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteThe trailer pile-on is actually an outdoor set for a production of a Chekhov play by an Amsterdam theater company in 2005. Snopes has info here:
ReplyDeleteTrailer high-rise
Joel, Sandra: Thanks!
ReplyDeletePaul: Yikes! The trailer park is a theater set? I'm amazed that the designers went to so much trouble! Thanks for the link!
Hahaha! I love thanksgiving!
ReplyDelete