A few days ago I cooked Crepe Suzettes for friends. The verdict: "Awful. Soggy, sticky sweet, almost cloying in the sweetness and almost wet in their sogginess. This had to be user error somewhere along the way, but I can’t figure out where. I followed the recipe to the letter, so who knows. We ended up eating a few, then throwing the rest away." I used quotation marks because I got that description off the net and it was so apt that I simply had to steal it. The night was a disaster, what can I say?
It's horrible when you're the chef and you have to face a room full of disappointed people who are all trying to avoid looking at you. I watched them silently and lethargically nudge the creation around their plates while struggling to think of something nice to say. It was nice of everybody to try to spare my feelings, but I wish they'd just vented and released the frustration. As it was, a spiked black ball of anxiety hovered above the table for an hour and you can be sure some pets were kicked when people got home.
And there was another thing about that dinner...the crepes simply refused to cook, even on high heat. I mean it, they just sat there looking pale and wet, no matter what. Doesn't that violate some law of physics? Didn't Newton have something to say about that?
My analysis of the problem? I didn't use the right tools. To make Crepes Suzettes you have to use a crepe pan. That's a wide, circular iron pan with extremely low sides. The sides are low so you can slide your ridiculously long and flat crepe spatula under the crepe for the purpose of turning it over. It helps to have a crepe spreader, too. That's a "T' shaped wooden dohickey that you drag along the top of the crepe to give it a uniform thickness. Or...use an index card.
Well, live and learn.
Cool, Chef Eddie! You're lucky to even be able to cook at all. I don't even know how to yet. Did you get these recipes out of a cookbook or did your mom or dad teach you themselves?
ReplyDeletePeople make mistakes, Eddie. You'll just have to try again.
ReplyDeleteDid you do some practice crepes before inviting people over?
ReplyDeleteSounds like the pan and utensils would be a good idea for next time, but it sounds like a tough crowd.
I'd only invite them back after you've perfected your technique, and then make the crepes at the table, in front of them.
Let them eat crepes!
I dunno about crepe suzettes but my girlfriend makes a mean flour-less crepe and she just uses kitchen utensils!
ReplyDeleteI believe the Newtons law you're looking for is "You can perform any skill fine until you try to do it in front of guests"
ReplyDeleteincluding, but not limited to, cooking crepes.
You don't need that. You could make a crepe out of a tin can if you had to.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Crepe Suzette: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WFDoYIgOao begins at 5:00
P.S. If you want to impress party guests by flambéing something maybe you'll get em' next time with bananas Foster, yummers!
ReplyDeleteDid you really make your chef's toque by using some paper and a shower cap? Genius!
ReplyDeleteAnon: Genius!? Haw! Thanks for the compliment!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's a shower cap. Current chef hats, the real ones, are very tall and thin with only a vestigal plume at the top. I prefer the old design, even if I have to make it myself!