And why glass unicorns? A few vile men will buy pewter Gandolfs but you never see a guy with a glass unicorn.
Maybe all these girly tastes have their genesis in the girly bedroom. I don't know of any real estate on Earth where a guy is more uncomfortable and itchy than in these pink and lavender infernos.
Maybe that's where girls learn to cultivate cute.
Or maybe they get it from books like this (above). I deliberately printed the picture small lest readers feel their eyes have been pierced by icepicks.
Someone shoot this poor dog and put it out of its misery.
Some women executives make girly otherness work for them. They tinker together ultra-fem offices, with pink, fuzzy carpeting and magical rainbow posters. When a business guy comes in they seat him in a rickety wicker chair next to a rickety wicker shelf, and the shelf is packed to the gills with glass unicorns. Of course the glassware is on the very edge of the shelves.
48 comments:
My neice took me to a Beanie Baby convention once. It was more of a culture shock than visiting headhunters in the Soloman Islands! She hasn't taken me along to one of her MLP (my little pony) souirees yet. I'll get her to invite you too when she does.
See ya
Steve
Girls are human! Not all of us like that crap, some of us like this crap!!
YAY!
YUM!
YEHAW!
YA, I WISH!!!!!!!!!
Eddie this is your funniest post yet! great work!!!!!! "someone shoot this dog to put it out of it's misery" hahaha great job!!! excellent
Wow! Eddie even dared to mock those sacred pewter Gandolfs too? I predict an onslaught of Lord Of The Ring fanatics defending their metal Gandolf dolls, oversized rubber Hobbit feet novelty slippers and all things L.O.T.R.
In womens/girls defense, there are plenty of guys that display bad taste or obsess over certain things as well. Like say, maybe a certain movie about Wars in the Stars.
Eddie, am I sensing a "manly posting theme" developing? Are you trying to rectify some event that may have questioned your manliness? Perhaps you accidentally watched Oprah or The View and are purging yourself? No worries,it happens to the best of us. Great post!
Also, have you ever seen a more deflated sullen expression than from those 2 dogs? I recognize that look from visiting my married college buddies. It's the look of defeat.
"someone shoot this dog to put it out of it's misery"
It's expression says it all, really.
Eddie, the gateway to heck.
I have four sisters, I know where to find it.
Eddie... you left out this http://www.sanrio.com/character/HelloKitty/
But then again maybe that's not quite the same as the onslaught of bright neon colors brought about by 'My Little Pony'. At least Hello Kitty limits herself to pink and white.
Personally I've never really been intimidated by girly decor. I let my chick have her girly way when it comes to decoration. If any of my friends question my manliness I merely snap my fingers and my woman brings me a piping hot meal.
Then she thanks me for the privilege of cooking me a meal. I laugh at my friends and acquaintances as they go hungry.
Oh, MTK, you're so right! Thank you for the privilege of cooking your meals and having my bottom slapped!
My man allows me to decorate in all the lovely ways of Hello Kitty and pretty colors, and that keeps me happy. And pretty girls who are happy are much less likely to burn the roast and become pretty girls with a black eye.
Uncle Eddie, girls are human and I think it's genetic. Some sort of protection mechanism so when babies are newborn and require unrelenting 24/7 care, the mothers don't abandon them!
You think those dogs are unhappy? How do you think these cats feel?
I NEVER IN MY LIFE OWNED ANYTHING REMOTELY LIKE THOSE ABOMINATIONS.
Sorry--my caps key was on(damn laptop)but I figured it's perfect for emphasis.
Btw, no one I knew had crap like that either...well, maybe ONE girl. And we weren't really good friends.
Among MY favorite toys were my Cecil soaky, my oily Russ Berrie jigglers and my gumball machine Ratfink. So there!
I'm terribly interested to what Tennessee Williams Glass Menagerie might be indicted in regards to current unicorn cultural symbolism.
Regarding genetic protection mechanisms.... I don't think babies or animals are meant to be tortured dress up dolls, that is some cultural damage you are seeing, not the mother instinct.
i know you mispelled Gandalf on purpose, i'm pretty sure you owned a pewter figurine of him once, Eddie!
I had no idea how much you could spend on this stuff back when I was a dirty YOUNG man.
http://www.kittyhell.com/
Well, vive la difference, anyway!
The main difference is while women have only one brain, men have two. The larger, smarter one in the head (similar to that of the women) and the lower one that makes the decisions.
Yikes, Eddie!
The images on that post made my teeth hurt!
Those tastes are probably a result of a neuroses developed in response to the bizarre way parents treat their little girls.
Car fetishism is undoubtedly the best male analog.
Girls are human, though because of subtle genetic differences in the genome, girls have a different arrangement of rods and cones in their eyes that make everything look like it's pink, lavender, and covered in bows and lace. The attraction to fetuses (feti?) is due to the fact that women eventually feel obligated to make a fetus, and are socialized at an early age to look at these things as good examples. Somewhere in the back of everywoman's mind is a small voice that says "damn, that's a good lookin' fetus" everytime a my little pony or ninja turtle toy is seen.
--Zing, Dr. of the girly arts.
So multiple fetuses performing one musical solo in unison would be feti playing soli.
Since the 1960s, millions of couples have tried to raise their girls in a non-girlish fashion, or have tried to raise their boys and girls exactly the same, to avoid sexism.
Almost without fail, girls reach an age where they are attracted to frilly things, cute things, princesses, dress up and prettying themselves.
Of course, this doesn't always happen. There are tomboys and girls who are less attracted to this stuff, but the percentage of the female population like this does not increase when parents try to keep pink stuff away from girls. In general, girls are drawn to it.....STRONGLY...in the end, even the most die-hard B.F. Skinnner 60's behaviorist parents give in and believe that there is something different between the sexes genetically.
Often, the explanation is that the media feeds these images to girls and makes them crave them. But even families raised in the mountains find that the girls reach an age where they put flowers in each others hair and dress each other, and boys--if guns or clubs are not available to them--make them out of sticks.
Regarding cute, it is generally agreed that women (girls) are more attuned to it because they have a role as mothers, and must be attracted to babies, so that they will care for, and not abandon, them. I posted about this earlier....that in the animal kingdom, tests have been done to show that animals find "cute" dolls and pictures attractive. We are programmed to find babies and "baby-like" Hello Kitty images cute. This inclination may be stronger in females, the ones who must spend--in caveman times--almost all of their time with babies after they are born and feel a need to care for them to continue the species.
There are some wonderful, telling essays written online by politically-correct parents who have tried to raise their girls in an "un-pink" manner and failed....here's a charming link to an essay from an "enlightened" father who expresses dismay that his daughter now wants to be a princess:
http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/2004/11/24/princesses/index.html
And, yes, girls are human. Overwhelmingly, wonderfully human.
Steve: I would LOVE to sketch at a Beanie Baby convention. Let's do it!
Kali: Nice choices. Girls who like stuff like that must be human!
Marlo: Thanks much! BTW, I'm sorry I didn't credit you as the photographer in the Kali post last week. An unintended oversight!
Rogelio, Pappy: Vile sites but I can see why you're fascinated by them. I'll have to gather up my courage and explore them.
Lee: The poor cats!
Jenny: Your sincere abhorance has earned you a place in Cartoonist Heaven!
Chris: I just read the princess article. That pretty much summarizes my experience. My daughter likes a lot of guy things but she has a collection of cute teddy bears that she'd rather die than part with.
Girls have to be human. If they weren't, they'd know how to properly seduce a gentleman and have a pin-thin waist.
At my school, 3/10 of the girls are total MOO COWS and they are hilarious to watch, especially when trying to seduce someone. HAVE to be human.
Aren't girl chromosomes like XX and guys are XY? So there's more of a chance that a girl will be born. And are twigs and nuts over developed poons and ovaries, or are twats under developed trouser snakes? I can't remember Biology class very well...
Eddie, I haven't laughed so hard since the last time I went to a play, and that cost over $100 and this was free. Therefore, this was better.
Hilarious!!
I’ve always found glass ornaments to be the weirdest things. A friend of my Mum and Dad’s had a shelf full of glass horses, unicorns, clowns and dolphins. And for whatever reason when I was a kid they freaked the hell out of me.
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Glass ornament...... that reminds me! When I was in Kindergarden, we had to do this gift exchange for christmas. I picked out a doll, and my mom wrapped it up all nice. I, of course, was expecting to get something equally thrilling. BUT ALAS! Instead all I got was a glass ornament, which you can't really play with without breaking, and so as everyone opened their gift and had some cool toy (including the doll I picked out) I was left with a stupid ornament. I think I cried when I got home. I'm lame like that.
I was once made to sleep in the room of my girlfriend's youngest sister (a 3 year old) while she slept in her parents' room. All of the hallways were armed with motion detectors and my girlfriend was kept in an other room so as to ensure that we didn't do any hanky panky.
Anyway, the room was filled with stuffed animals, pink lacey things and absolutely pink in every way. Trapped in this room, sleeping on a tiny bed which my feet hung off the end, I was stared at and mocked by unblinking stuffed animal eyes all night.
The horror...
Cartoon Heaven will have a worse boy-to-girl ratio than th cartoon world.
You cwazy americans get a holiday?
when I was a widdle boy, I liked glass animals (in theory) because I always saw them being made while on vacation-and I thought glass blowing was cool, somthing I'd like to try.
Keeping them around on the shelves? Nah.
Girls like fetus toys because they are hardwired to adore and look after babies.
In conclusion, a girl like me can enjoy the dumbest crap and it doesn't matter because it's not going to prevent me from getting constant sweet sweeeeet ass.
-one of your regulars
Chris Hedrick, you're right on...there is indeed "hardwiring" into human nature and feminism tried it's hardest to deconnect it, but it is there for a reason. Girls grow up to be mommies. Period.
Hahahah! No pun intended!
That said, there ARE weirdos like me who HATE HATE HATED all the stuff you showed..and preferred more boy kinda stuff like dragons and more aggressive, adventurous stuff. I cannot tell you the repulsion I had in high school to cheerleaders and anything that had to do with "secondary support roles" that girls took on..not to mention hating wearing dresses or anything I could not be active in without fear of someone seein' my undies.
But on the other hand, I AM female enough to not get the whole male sports culture or fast cars...y' know..more guy stuff. That draws a blank on me too. So I used to ask myself growing up..what the heck AM I? I know I'm a girl and I like guys..but I never wanted kids and I hate pink fetus-y toys, so...????
Kali...yes, the default chromosomal map for all fetuses is female..we all start out as females, and if the Y is present, ovaries turn into testicles (thus the "descention downwards") and this is also why guys have nipples..the start of boobs. Genesis in total reverse..men are actually offshoots of women.
Eddie, this is seriously the best blog ever. And I promise to get those turn of the century anti-masturbation books scanned when I get back from vacation.
Cynthia
tangoland.com
This might be Eddie's best post ever. It's all sooo true.
Oh the Beloved horse fetuses!
Eddie, please do stand-up!
Cynthia: LOL! Thanks for the compliment!
I can't wait to see the Victorian anti-masturbation books. I don't know what I think about that subject. I assume that it's OK because I'm a creaure of the 60s and 70s and in that period masturbation was almost sacramental. I do wonder though, because so many good and effective people of the past thought the opposite.
Eddie..woohoo...just you wait. A sacrament? Try sacrilege!!!! You won't believe what this guy wrote..and what many people believed..just 100 years ago. Amazing too how one generation could wipe all that out (the 60's) except that we were starting to see some loosening back in the 1920's....we were slowly moving into more urbanized freedom of movement (i.e. more privacy for dates and more dates to be had!) with automobiles, shorter dresses and women's rights movements going on..slowly flushing away the condemning male religious finger wagging...ah, and how quaint it is.
Cynthia
tangoland.com
"The Dog" toy is the toy that stands out most in my mind when I think of fetus-like girly toys.
I never really thought the MLP resembled a fetus, since the whole body was thick right up to their bubbly heads. The articulated plastic horse toy was always my favorite anyway.
On a side note: In my opinion, you also shouldnt be able to tell an artists gender (a good artist) by the content and way they draw. Ie. Cats, cats and more cats representing your art? That screams foo foo girly stuff.
Conversely, the dogs stuff is getting out of hand too.
I propose all artists give the cat and dog characters a rest, unless you have something new and fresh to bring to the table. It's already been done a billion times over. Ren and Stimpy was the last fresh take.
Anon: I might have agreed with you before seeing Katie Rice's drawings. Hers are obviously done by a girl, but that's their strength. It's nice to get a girl's take on the things she sees around her, even if it's skewered toward cute.
In a general way I don't like cute but when but when it's done by Katie or Clampett or John K, I love it. A lot depends on how good you are at it.
About dogs and cats. We're going to see them in animation for a long time. Dogs are funny because they're just like us and totally different at the same time.
Well, what is "cute" is very subjective and depends on how you define it. If anyone called my stuff "cute" (depending on who and how it was said), I'd probably start over. That's not a good word to define edgier stuff.Women tend to use it more generically to describe things than men, so that is taken into consideration. Men use it totally differently. Usually it refers to a girls looks or children related - as opposed to *ahem* art, ie. If you heard a guy say, "Check out MOCA, they have a really cute show there", you would probably be taken back and not want to go. Now if a girl said it, you may accept how she defined it and factor that in as "a good show".
So let me understand this then. If someone happens to be a personal friend, you will change your views based on that? You sure you're not being persuaded by the artists personality and your personal relationship with them?
Also to clarify. Being able to draw (as opposed to only drawing) "cute" or "feminine" or however you want to define it, is fine and dandy, but not if that is all they can do. I don't respect an artist as much that is easily determined as male or female by their collective work. That goes for guys too and the overkill on copycat Ratfink art, for ex. I just don't buy it, figuratively speaking and literally.
Re: cats and dogs. Sure they are not going away anytime soon. That doesn't mean that there should be carte blanche to rehash the same old ideas and gags over and over and not at least try expand on them.
Why not push things further and try to be a leader and not a follower. Regurgitated ideas and characters are the safe boring route. With all due respect, don't you and John preach against safe stuff ie. story, characters, animation and hopefully art?
Crap. Not the best organized sentences and thoughts... but you get the gist.
In any case, thanks for the opinions and commentary, Eddie.
Anon: That's a fair question and I'll give you honest answer. Katie really is that good. I'm not flattering her just because she's a friend. Look at the archive on her Funny Cute site and see if you don't agree.
Katie's best work is immensely charming and appealing and has fresh things to say about youth and the capacity some people have to remind the rest of the world that they're supposed to be having fun. Don't get me started because I'll go into a long-winded discussion of the real meaning of "Romeo and Juliet."
About a year ago I wrote a blog where I tried to analyse why I like her work so much. I don't know the date but it's back there somewhere.
i read somewhere that women love cute things because of some nurturing hormone in their head thats meant to make them want babies and anything with baby porportions is instantly cuddled as a result,,, at least thats what i read.
personaly my room is green and red and is decorated with a ghandi plushi and a stool that looks like a girraffe.
the REAL mytery is pink. seriosly why pink? i'm sure there's a proper scienctifical reason that no-ones figured out yet.
Miss: A Ghandi plushie? Do you mean Ghandi the famous pacifist? You can buy plush toys of him?
Reddish things, like the color Pink, happens to be girls favorite color.
Tying into the motherhood thing, seems like some wag of an anthropologist said that body painting, primarily, tribal women covering their body with ochre, were doing so to hide the fact that they were menstruating,from either the men, or the other females they might meet.
But even though that biological underpinning might find its way into other cultural expression, I don't think that dressing animals, and the over the top expression of girlyness you described, is totally natural, springing forth from the girls own needs and desires, as much as foisted upon poor unsuspecting xx youngsters by cultural amplification from slightly twisted and warped parents. The Jon Beney Ramsey parent types.
yes you can ( i should post a picture of him) and a socrates plushie and i saw but did not buy a van gogh plushie whose ear would come off and could be stuck back with velcro
Miss: A SOCRATES plushie!??? Where did you find these?
hmmm i cant remember the name of the shop
but i found the on the net too
http://www.philosophersguild.com/index.lasso?page_mode=Home&category=Little%20Thinker
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