HORN AND HARDART'S PUMPKIN PIE

That's Horn and Hardart's automat above, a noble restaurant that no longer exists now, but which is fondly remembered by everyone who took a meal there. What I remember best was their pumpkin pie. For kids its appearance in the Fall was a major event, eclipsed only by giant super holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving. 

Like I said, Horn and Hardart's is closed for good now but I discovered that the recipe they used is available on the net now. That means this mouth-watering food of the gods is available to anyone who's willing to take the trouble to make it. Now THAT'S news! Imagine it...no more plain brown pumpkin pie. The glorious original awaits...

...the glorious, textured ORANGE original, just like the innards of a real pumpkin!

On a practical note, I'll add that If you make this pie, don't buy the pumpkin mash in a can...what you want are real baking pumpkins (small), and real evaporated milk, not condensed milk, which is different.

Here's the recipe:

The recipe doesn't tell us how H&H made the pie crust. I seem to remember it tasting a bit like shortbread. And I can't tell from the wording if the pumpkin mash is pre-cooked. I don't think it is, but it would be nice to be certain. Also, I'll hazard a guess that H&H used a little more butter and spices than is allowed here. After all, people loved butter in those days! And where's the teaspoon full of orange peel scrapings!?

FRENCH OMELETTES (OMELETS) THE THEORY CORNER WAY

If you already make omelettes then you probably put milk in them, brown them on the bottom, and like them to have a uniform texture. That's okay. That's "country style," and if it works for you, why change?

Me, I prefer to eat what the brick throwing radicals, and nihilist philosophers in Paris eat. We sophisticates prefer the classical French omelette that I'm going to discuss here. Those omelettes don't brown on the bottom, not even slightly. They're never made with milk, and they're not uniform in texture. They're not even completely cooked. Here's how they work:

It's best to start with a three egg omelette that you make for yourself. If two are eating, then make two separate omelettes, one after the other. Don't make one giant omelette, then split it in two.

I use a good quality 7 or 8 inch (across the bottom) non-stick omelette pan. One famous writer prefers cheap non-stick pans because they heat up faster, but the better pan feels good, and is more fun to use. Anyway, three eggs work perfectly in a pan this size.

Break three ROOM TEMPERATURE eggs and empty them into a bowl. Add a tablespoon of water (not milk), a little melted butter, and some salt and pepper. DON'T SKIP THE WATER. Whip the eggs vigorously with a fork.  IMPORTANT: don't over whip them; stop BEFORE the whites and yolks are completely mixed!

Put a pat of butter in the pan, turn the heat to medium high, and roll the butter around so it also coats the bottom  and sides of the pan. Let the butter sizzle for a moment or two and, when the sizzling diminishes a little, then pour in the eggs. Turn the heat down a little.

Let the eggs sit for 6 seconds then lift the pan a little above the burner and shake it vigorously back and forth while prodding the sides and middle with a rubber spatula. If the pan smokes then lift it a little higher off the flame. Incidentally, by prodding I mean that you're opening channels for the uncooked, liquid parts of the egg to make contact with the pan. You're also separating the eggs from the pan so they slide easily. Watch the way Jacques Pepin and Julia Childs shake the eggs in the videos below!

The egg will cook fast. At the midway point, when half the omelette is still somewhat creamy, quickly add whatever PRE-PREPARED filling you have. All the filling should be on the half of the omelette that's farthest from you. Remember, LESS IS MORE!  The main taste you're after is that of egg and butter. The filling is just an accent. TOO MUCH FILLING WILL RUIN AN OMELETTE.

BTW: For filling a first time classic omelette I would use only shredded fatty white cheese, mixed with a little a little brandy or sherry, a little salt, and some chopped chives. Put all these fillings in an easy to find  bowl, ready to pour immediately when needed. Stopping to locate anything while you're cooking could result in overcooked eggs.

Now, with the filling poured onto the egg, and the egg still still creamy in parts, you'll want to fold it over and move it onto a plate. It'll continue to cook by itself outside of the pan.  When its on the plate and ready to eat, the center will be creamy like the example in the picture above.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's time to describe in detail how to fold and de-pan. Aaaargh, this is hard to convey with words....come to think of it, just watch the videos below to see how this works.  It's not hard, and if you goof it up, the eggs will probably still taste okay.

Finally, with the omelette on the plate, you can add a blush of butter to the top so the chopped, leafy spices and salt you're about to put on won't fall off. Which spices? According to Pepin they are: chives, basil, parsley, dill, tarragon, and chervil leaves.

My supermarket doesn't carry chervil, so I can't comment on that. Tarragon is expensive. I use it, but it doesn't add much.  Dill and parsley work great. In my opinion the most important of Pepin's spices are chives and basil. Fresh chives come in a plastic carton that sells for $1.80 at Trader Joe's. They have a subtle flavor, so chop enough to make an impact.

I think that's it...did I leave anything out?

Oh, yes..... It's a good idea to have toast and jam, or potatoes, or salad, or white wine, or whatever you intend to take with the omelette, already made or cooked and ready to consume when the omelette is done. You'll want to eat the omelette as soon as it's delivered to the plate!

I'll end with some troubleshooting tips:

If the finished omelette is disappointing, you might not have used enough salt. Or maybe you require Tabasco sauce, or maybe you put in too much filling and the taste of that overwhelmed the omelette. Maybe you used milk instead of water, and that made the eggs leathery. Maybe you used one or two eggs instead of three, and so starved the pan.  Maybe you failed to accompany the omelette with a good side dish, or with wine or a good coffee. Omelettes don't taste right all by themselves. They need accompaniment. Maybe you substituted some healthy oil for the butter. Maybe you used...Aargh!... margarine. I hate to say it but that kind of chintzing is a mistake. To enter The Land of Deliciousness you must be willing to risk a heart attack.

I tried a number of internet recipes and in the end I preferred Pepin's way, only with the addition of brandy and a little butter mixed with the raw egg. The only experiment I have yet to try is adding a separately made soft boiled egg over the finished and depanned omelette. That's because I'm curious to see if I can get more "eggy" flavor into the omellete. Have you ever noticed that soft boiled eggs have an intense egg flavor that no other egg dish has?  Wouldn't it be great if an omelette could have flavor that's equally intense?



The two videos I promised:

COOKING THE CHRISTMAS STEAK

Before we start, check out this unbelievably cool t-shirt that John K. gave me! Have you seen the store on his site lately? What a guy! He re-thought the whole way that internet stores are done, then he stacked the store with images that are so beautiful that you never want to leave it. Half the shirts are on sale, too!

John's site: http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/

But enough about that...we have serious work to do.

This post is about this l'il baby...the magisterial emperor of steak...THE RIB-EYE! Those little white streaks are what makes the cut so famous. They're little veins of fat that melt into the steak while it's cooking and give it that over-the-top flavor.

Rib-eyes are kind of expensive, so when they're on sale I get three and put the other two in the freezer. Of course it takes a day for frozen steaks to thaw in the refrigerator, and they only taste good if they're  cooked when when they're at room temperature, inside and out.

Prepare everything you'll need before you start cooking. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees and put your empty iron (not teflon) frying pan in so it gets nice and hot. Chop up the onions and mushrooms (don't cut the mushrooms too small), and make the dinner salad. Have the vinaigrette (1/2 balsamic vinegar and 1/2 extra virgin olive oil) handy for the salad, but don't put it on yet.

You won't need olive oil for cooking the steak. Peanut oil , saffron, or canola are better for that because they resist scorching. Prepare the raw steak by basting it with a little (not too much) bit of oil and "Bull's Eye Original Barbecue Sauce" on both sides.  These will seep into the cracks and aid the cooking. Put kosher salt and ground pepper all over it so that when you cook it a thin crust will form which will keep the juices in.

Now it's time to cook. When the oven's reached 500 degrees take the hot iron pan out and put it on top of the stove on medium heat. Put some heat resistant oil in the pan and drop in the precious steak. Let it  cook 30 seconds on each side. Turn it over with tongs. You don't want to pierce the meat with anything, not even a fork.

Now whisk the iron pan and steak into the hot oven. Let the steak cook 2 minutes on either side. Use tongs to turn it. Don't poke it. Trust that everything is okay.

Just trust.

Especially don't attempt to test it by cutting into it. Trust the wisdom of the thousands of cooks who  preceded you.

  Now you can remove the pan from the oven. Put it on top of the stove on medium heat,  remove the meat with tongs, and let it finish cooking on your dinner plate, maybe under a canopy of aluminum foil. Don't poke it or cut it!

Now's the time to cook the mushrooms and onions.  Put some olive oil and lots of butter into the empty steak pan. Mix them with the steak juice that's already there. Now pour in the mushrooms and onions (and green pepper, if you prefer). Add a little soy sauce and brown sugar. Be sure not to overcook the mushrooms. It should be done just about the time the steak finishes self-cooking on the dinner plate.

So that's it. Combine the steak and mushrooms on the plate and you're good to go. If you've followed directions, you should be facing an exquisitely juicy, medium-rare steak. And...Oh my Gosh, I forgot the dinner salad! Now's the time to vigorously shake or stir the pre-made vinaigrette, and pour it over the lettuce and tomato slices.

What to drink? A cabernet, definitely. Or how about that new Belgian beer that Trader Joe is selling? It's their own brand, and it's pretty good.

BTW: I watched several videos, read several articles, mooched steaks at John's house, and did a number of experiments on my own before settling on the advice in this video as the backbone of my steak regimen. Here's a link to what I consider the most helpful video. The guy who made it looks a lot like Bruce Timm. You don't suppose Bruce.....? Naaaaaaaw!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yX1Q3x9Cs4

THE HORRIBLE TRUTH ABOUT SPAGHETTI

AAAARRGH! I overate and now I feel like jumping off a cliff just to end the pain. I blame it on
demon spaghetti.

I posted some spaghetti recipes a few days ago, and that started my mouth watering. It occurred to me that since I'd just watched a bunch of videos on the subject, and since I had the all the recipes that commenters sent in, that I could probably make a decent pot of spaghetti this very day. Today I spent hours shopping and cooking, and I just finished eating what I cooked. My conclusion? It was by far the best spaghetti I ever had, but......I'm sorry to say...it was disappointing.

It was disappointing because spaghetti itself is disappointing. The American style, meat-mixed-in-the-sauce spaghetti can be good, and in the right hands it can be very good, but it can never be great. Nothing that's meant to be wolfed down then sit in your stomach like a brick for hours can ever aspire to greatness.

I know what you're thinking, that it's my own fault if I overate, but that's only half true. The fact is that spaghetti is designed to be overeaten. Something about the chemistry of the thing actually promotes overeating. Using better ingredients only makes overeating more likely.

I have such a stomach ache! I can hardly type!

From this experience I learned that Italians were probably right about meatballs. Separating the meat from the sauce gives makes for more contrast in the flavors, and likely prolongs the meal so you don't feel so drowsy and heavy in the stomach afterwards. Next time I make spaghetti, I'll go the meatball route.

Aaaargh! Now I'm gonna sack out on the couch!

BTW, here's the way I made it: I like mushrooms, so I started by frying a few in olive oil, garlic and a little bacon fat. I only half cooked them, figuring that I'd let them cook the rest of the way when I put them in the sauce. I now regard this as a mistake. When added too early the mushrooms are overwhelmed by the sauce and you don't even taste them.

I cooked up some Italian sausage in olive oil and garlic and added lots of cabernet and port. Most of it evaporated and had only a small impact on the flavor. Next time I'll use only port and add it when the sauce is nearly finished.

When the meat was more than half done I added a sauce of fresh, skinned Italian tomatoes (according to a commenter, they're out of season and are therefore inferior to the canned variety), and canned crushed tomatoes and tomato paste. Also in the sauce: the mushrooms I talked about earlier, onion, parmesan, green pepper, garlic and garlic powder, salt, ground pepper, oregano and basil. I would have added fennel if I'd had it.

I let it simmer for about 45 minutes. When it still seemed too thin, I thickened it with another small can of tomato paste, which was a mistake because the finished sauce tasted pastey. Later, when I was finished, I realized that I'd never added water. The only liquids were wine and the crushed tomato fluid. I should have added some water and let it simmer longer.

I wish I'd combined the Italian sausage with some ground beef or pork. The sausage was delicious but needed something to balance it out.

In spite of my mistakes the sauce still tasted very good, so I feel like I gave the meat sauce-style of spaghetti a fair trial. I still like spaghetti a whole lot, but I've been won over to the meatball theory.

BTW: This blog was featured on Boing Boing a couple of days ago. Many thanks to Steve Worth for the kind words!

THE JOHN KRICFALUSI MANLY CARTOONIST BURGER

Sid: "You're here for the recipe, right? This burger's for cartoonists only...are you a cartoonist? Do you have I.D.? Hey, put the wallet back! I'm just kidding! OK, have a seat and listen up!

Uncle Eddie got this recipe directly from John K. and I got it directly from Uncle Eddie! This is the real McCoy, the world's manliest cartoonist burger."

Sid: "Start with lean ground beef...not the very leanest, you need a little fat...and an equal amount of ground angus and ground sirloin (That's 1/2 hamburger , 1/4 angus and 1/4 sirloin). Supermarkets keep these already ground and wrapped, right next to the ground beef.

Back at home it's important to have a Frankie Laine CD on while you're working. You can't make manly burgers unless you have manly music playing. And be sure it's the right Frankie Laine disc; the cuts "Wild Goose" and "Bowie Knife" are absolute necessities."

"OK, mix all the burger meats in a bowl, together with a raw egg. Add some spices. John uses chili powder, oregano and red and black pepper. No salt! Add some chopped onions. Mmmmm! Smells good already!

When you shape the paddies be sure they're a little bigger than the rolls you'll be using. Don't be stingy. The rolls, by the way, are bakery rolls with poppy or sesame seeds. "

"Now grill the burgers on the BBQ. Don't put the hood on, that's not the manly way. A real man allows the burgers to quick cook so they get crispy on the outside and mushy on the inside.

While the burgers are cooking you'll want to go back inside and fry some bacon and red and yellow peppers together. Mushrooms too, if you prefer. The bacon will give everything a great flavor. Make sure the bacon isn't over-cooked. You don't want it to be a burnt slab like the kind you get in restaurants. Take a taste. Aaaah!"

"Now turn the burgers over and put the cheese on top. No crummy American cheese, it has to be sharp cheddar or Swiss. Toast the rolls. When the paddie's cooked take it inside and heap on the bacon and peppers. Add some lettuce, maybe the deep green kind with the red tips. It has to be lettuce with flavor -- no iceberg! Serve it up with fresh, sliced onion rings. Put on the roll.

If you've done it right you should have a burger rich in flavor nuggets. As your teeth travel through the juicy little masterpiece you should experience a succession of textural delights. All it needs now is the right beer: LaBatt 50s or Pilsner Urquell if you can get hold of them."

"And there it is, The Manly Cartoonist's Burger. A meal fit for a king!

THE AMAZING PARALLEL UNIVERSE SALAD

I told some of this sad story before, but I never talked about what happened after and I may never (I can't remember) have divulged the amazing recipe that lies at the heart of the story. Let me remedy that now.



For those who haven't heard the story before, about this time last year my family and I were invited to dinner by a young Cal Tech Physicist who was researching the parallel universe theory. It turns out that it may be possible to do faster computer calculations in that universe than in our own. You don't have to travel anywhere in a spaceship to do it, the other universe is right beside us. Every atom in our bodies shares matter and energy with that universe. I don't understand it, so don't rely on me for an explanation.



Anyway, the guy was a terrific cook! The main course was terrific but the real highlight was the salad. It was to die for! It was absolutely the very best salad I ever had in my life! Imagine that! A physics guy who could cook!



Unfortunately I was so intimidated at being with someone who knows so much about physics that I could hardly put two words together and I ended up talking nervously about, of all things...Asperger Disorder. I couldn't help it! I was feeling awkward and it was on my mind from something I'd read the previous day. A big mistake!

It turns out that almost all physics students were considered nerds when they were young and had to put up with a lot of grief because of that. My host was anything but a nerd, but he rankled at every mention of it. I should have changed the subject but I was so nervous that I couldn't. I went on and on about Asbergers til my host was screaming inside his skin. Except for the wonderful salad it was a social disaster!

OK, I think I mentioned all that in my previous post. Now here's what happened months later...

My wife explained the problem to her old school friend who was the physicist's mother. They had a good laugh over it and the mother called her son and arranged for another dinner to soothe things over. I was so relieved that I'd finally be able to put it all right again...but...but I was still nervous. I can't help it. For me a physicist is like a rock star. It was like eating dinner with Mick Jagger. This man knows what makes the universe work. If that's not superstardom, then what is? Anyway, I was nervous all over again, and all day long I kept repeating to myself, "Don't mention Aspergers! Don't mention Aspergers!" I think you can imagine what happened.

It was so much on my mind that the first thing I blurted out at the restaurant was "Aspergers." You could see the guy wince. He must have thought I was crazy! It was a terrible night. Now I know how John Cleese felt in "Fawlty Towers" when he couldn't stop talking to his German guests about the war.

Anyway, at the cost of unbearable social awkwardness and ill manners directed at my betters, I managed to extract the recipe for this amazing salad. Here it is:

Preperation: Remove extra virgin olive oil from the refridgerator (it should also be refridgerated) 25 minutes before making the salad and let it sit on the counter.

Have all the ingrediants on hand so you can eat as soon as possible after the dressing is made.

1) Rub garlic into inside of salad bowl then toss the bits away.

2) Add salad leaves (baby greens sold in a bag) and toss with a little olive oil till the leaves are greasy.

3) Into blender:

Extra virgin olive oil

Walnuts

1/2 Blood orange

Red wine vinegar

Veggie salt

Pepper

Oregeno

Sugar

4) Pour blended dressing over leaves.

5) drizzle a little balsamic vinegar on while tossing.

6) Add cut beets from a can and fetta cheese.

Eat immediately before the dressing seperates.