A THEORY CORNER EDITORIAL

To Theory Corner Men:

Men, let's face it. We've been selfish. We never talk to women the way they want to be talked to, the way they CRAVE to be talked to. They want their men to hold their hands and talk to them Don Juan de Marco-style, like this:

"There are some women...fine featured...a certain texture to the hair, a curve to the ears that sweeps like an eternal nautilus...these women have fingers with the same sensitivity as their feet...and when you touch their knuckles it's like pressing your hands around their knees..and touching this tender, fleshy part of their fingers is the same as brushing your hands around their thighs...and..."

OK, it sounds hokey to us but women eat this stuff up. And if they like it so much, why not give it to them? Consider that one half the world (men) has it in their power to make the other half of the world (women) substantially happier without spending a single cent. What a huge improvement for such a small effort!

I hear you say that that modern women would never fall for something this corny. NOT TRUE!

I've tried this on my family and female friends and it worked 100% of the time! I don't mean I tried to seduce them, just the opposite. I bragged before hand that I could get a reaction from them, whether they liked it or not, with over-the-top purple prose, then I read the dialogue hesitatingly from a dog-eared piece of paper in the presence of other people. Even under these circumstances, even with the most skeptical of women, after only a couple of minutes they were all reduced to shell-shocked puddles. Don't take my word for it, try it yourself and improve the world.

BTW, the picture is by the young Robert Crumb.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DERAIN AND VLAMINCK?

Here they are: Derain's portrait of Vlaminck (above, left) and Vlaminck's portrait of Derain (above, right). They were at the top of their form at the start of the fauve period in, say, 1905 and by 1910 they were passe'. What happened?

Here (above) is a Derain from 1905. it's full of verve and vitality.

Here (above) is a Derain from 1909. It's OK but what a come-down! What happened? Maybe the answer is that he bought a house in the country and fatally removed himself from the influence of his friends in the city. Or maybe he acquired depressing friends out there in the country. He hung out with German friends in this period and maybe they didn't understand color the way the French did.

Here (above) is a Vlaminck from 1905. Minimal shadows, unreal color on the tree trunks, color used to contain space...it's a really wonderfull example of the fauve style.

Here (above) is a Vlaminck from the 1920's. It's OK but the painter clearly wasn't interested in experimenting anymore. What happened? Why the precipitous decline? Historians speculate that he was demoralized by his association with Picasso. Apparently Derain felt old-fashioned in the presence of Picasso's Cubist rebellion and in 1907 he destroyed his fauve paintings when he moved to a new studio. Imagine that; fauvism starts in 1905 and one of the leading practitioners feels passe' by 1907. That's how fast things were changing in those days.

Here are photo portraits of Derain (above) and Vlaminck (below). Neither had to desert fauvism. The movement still had a lot of vitality as we know from Matisse's work. Matisse stood up to Picasso and matched him, innovation for innovation. What a pity that Derain and Vlaminck chose to capitulate rather than fight.

THEORY CORNER FOR WOMEN (NO MEN ALLOWED)

Hello, Sisters! I reckon I'm not good at public speaking so I guess I'll begin plain and direct by showing you this plea for help that that I wrote to Uncle Eddie (above) a few weeks ago....

"Dear Uncle Eddie:

Beulah Bradshaw here. I'm sorry to burden you with this. I know you get thousands of letters from lonely females, more than you could ever answer, but I have nowhere else to turn. If you don't help me I'll just just have to buy a one-way ticket to the river, if you know what I mean. Won't you please help me? Here's my problem...

I've had affection for David, the boy next door, ever since I can remember. When he studied to become a doctor, I decided that being a nurse would be my career so that our work would bring us together. And that's exactly what happened. Then Chad, a handsome folk singer came into my life and suddenly there was...well, a new song in my heart. Now I have to choose. David is handsome and talented and has a plush society practice. Chad is something of a wastrel but his touch makes me tremble. What should I do?

Yours Expectently,

Beulah Bradshaw"

I don't know if I really expected Uncle Eddie to answer but a few days later his secretary called and told me that Uncle Eddie would be pleased to meet me that very afternoon at his villa in the Hollywood Hills. Within hours I was shown into the consevatory where I snapped this picture (above) of him lying down and shirtless, evidently in a state of near exhaustion after rescuing a kitten from a nearby tree. After introductions were made and the situation explained, the following conversation took place (transcribed from a tape recorder):

Uncle Eddie: "Beulah...may I call you Beulah?...please take my hand."

Beulah: "Gasp! You want ME to take YOUR hand!!?? Wait til I tell my girlfriends about this!"

Uncle Eddie: "Beulah, I want you to look into my eyes and answer the question I'm about to ask as truthfully as you possibly can. Will you do that?"

Beulah: "(Gulp!) ok...I mean, OK, Uncle Eddie!"

Uncle Eddie: "This, this Chad...can you speak to him without holding back? When you're with him do you hide anything from him?"

Beulah: "(Gulp!) Uh...no, I don't think so."

Uncle Eddie: "That's good! Now listen to me closely! Every woman is a mystery to be solved but she never hides anything from her true lover. Her skin color tells him how to proceed. The hue speaks like the blush of the rose, pink and pale, and she must be coaxed to open her petals with a warmth like the sun. Is this not so?"

Beulah: "Um...uh...(Gulp!) (Gulp!)...um...it's getting awfully, uh, hot in here."

Uncle Eddie: "And under her true lover's gaze the pale, dappled skin of her redness yields to the lust of his wave crashing to the shore, stirring up what lies beneath and bringing the foaming delight of love to the surface, does it not? And when he touches his fingertips to yours is it not like pressing your hands against his knees with the tender, fleshy part brushing...."

At this point I brushed against the recorder and accidentally turned it off. Anyway, after only a few minutes with Uncle Eddie I realized that Chad was the man for me. I want romance in my life! I want to live!!! Thank you, Uncle Eddie! You've changed my life!
!

DO YOU PLAY WITH YOUR NOSE WHILE THINKING?

I do. These pictures were assembled from the margins of papers I was doodling on while thinking yesterday. These aren't good drawings but I include them here because they help make a point, namely that without cartooning we'd never be able to record a lot of the little things in life.

I don't know about you but my life doesn't contain many super events. When I'm not working most of my day consists of waiting while old ladies argue with the cashier, trying to eat while driving, complaining about the state of the world, oogling girls, trying to find a pen that works, etc. Illustrators like super hero artists aren't interested in stuff like this. If cartoonists didn't draw it then it would go completely unrecorded by artists.

I just saw a DVD of "Cars" and was struck by how little "small event" acting the film contained. The cars displayed fear of the dark, shyness and awkwardness when the story required it but these were clearly subordinated to the story and were never allowed to dominate whole sequences. For contrast think of how W.C. Fields devoted entire sequences of his movies to micro events like trying to shave when someone was blocking his view of the mirror. 

TAKING A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF!

RALPH BAKSHI: HERO

I put up something about Ralph a few months ago but there's a lot more to say about the man than I was able to say in a single post so here I am, telling the same story again in more detail. Everybody knows that Ralph directed ground-breaking films like "Fritz the Cat" and "Heavy Traffic" but a lot of fans don't know what a decisive role he played in starting up the animation boom that started in the late 80s.

If you remember, the animation boom had two causes: "The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse" and "Rodger Rabbit." I don't know the story about how a flamboyant project like Rodger Rabbit ever got OK'd by Disney but I was at ground zero for the Mighty Mouse show. Here's the way it happened....

At the outset of the project Ralph called in his three directors, John K, Bruce Woodside and I, and begged us not to do anything drastic that would get him in trouble with the networks. Ralph explained that he had a reputation as a pornographer because of his X-rated features and was anxious to get a foothold in TV animation where he could turn out charming, beautifully executed cartoons for kids and make a legitimate and uncontroversial dollar. This show was all about building his credibility as a mass-market, quality film maker. He said he knew that we were all chomping at the bit to make something edgey but that we should put a lid on it for a season or two. Later, when he'd proven himself, he'd give us more slack.

I was genuinely moved and resolved to do what he asked for. So was John. We both did relatively sedate first cartoons. They were so sedate that the first show won an award for "pro-social filmmaking" from the then powerfull Action for Children's Programs (or is it "programming?" I can never remember).

The problem was that we had a really hot studio with a lot of gifted artists mostly picked by John. Not only that but John was in the throws of a personal creative explosion. He was always sharp but now that he was in his element, living his dream and surrounded by every physical asset needed to turn out great cartoons, he went into ecstatic creative overdrive. I wish I'd kept the drawings and written down the ideas that came out at lunchtime and during breaks. Every one of them was side-splittingly hilarious! Add to this that Ralph himself was a first-rate cartoonist and could appreciate what was happening even while he was struggling to control it...add that and well, it was a ticking bomb that was bound to explode.

Ralph could see where things were going. He kept reminding us that this show was his nest-egg and that we needed to rope ourselves in but he couldn't prevent himself from laughing at it all. This was a high-stakes game for Ralph and I can only guess at the anxiety all this must have caused him. He must have had moments when he'd wished he'd never met any of us.

I imagine that the network was also getting antsy but, like Ralph, they were also aware that they had something unique and special on their hands. I'm sure the good reviews helped but Ralph still had to spend a lot of time on the phone, soothing things over. At some point in all the complicated negotiations Ralph decided to dig in and fight for the show as it really was. He was no longer pitching it as a harmless show for 5 year-olds but as an unashamedly funny show for all age groups. He crossed the Rubicon. I heard him say to someone in the corridor: "I'm Ralph Bakshi! My name is on this show! I'm not going to put my name on something second-rate!"

Well, the rest is history. Ralph backed up John and TV animation was never the same again. Ralph risked everything to make it happen. He didn't have to do it. He did it because he was a true artist and because, when push came to shove, he had guts and integrity. So, by the way, did Judy Price, the network executive who had to stand up for all this to her superiors; two courageous people that we all owe a debt to.

BTW, the drawings here are all telephone doodles by Ralph Bakshi.

WHAT HAPPENED TO FILM POSTERS?

This (above) is what the film-going public got in 1937.

This (above) is what the film-going public got in 2006. Kinda minimal, isn't it?

This (above) is the kind of poster fans got in 1945...

...and this Above) is what film fans got in 2005. Minimal isn't the word; this new poster is bleak! What a difference 60 years made!

Here's another poster (above) from 1936 . If I weren't so sleepy I'd put up a cool film poster that I found from 1912. Take my word for it that poster artists in 1912 could kick our butts! How did that come about!?