Okay, here's (above) a revised version of the second draft. Please, please tell me if you find that any of it is still confusing. It works for me, but maybe I've lost my objectivity. Many, many thanks to commenters who let me know what was wrong with the previous versions. Click to enlarge.
Kali sent me this video (above)! What a pal! What a pal! Have you seen the George Liquor on a log that she's selling on her site? It's beautiful!
NOTE: I changed "Procopius" to "Polybius." Sorry for the confusion. Procopius was the Roman historian who wrote about all those horrible things the queen of the Eastern empire was alleged to have done. Polybius was a much earlier (and probably better) historian, who wrote about my hero Scipio Africanus.
I can't believe how many mistakes I made in the writing of this ad. Am I always this addled?