I love family portraits, especially those of evil, deceased matriarchs or patriarchs who continue to inspire fear in the family they left behind.
Maybe they left a will that constrains the family to live joyless in a gloomy, creaking old house for the rest of their lives.
Maybe their portrait contains the clues needed to discover a hidden treasure, buried somewhere in the house.
Poor Aunt Matilda: she greedily stared at her father's portrait for years, hoping to discover its secret. Some say she acquired her father's deviant personality. Others say she went mad.
Hmmmm. I wonder what Matilda would have thought of Sadie Hawkins...no wait, I said I'd change the subject.