I JUST SAW "RATATOUILLE!"

Before I get to "Ratatouille" I can't help but comment on the audience I saw it with. I saw the film at The Los Angeles Film School, across the street from the old Cinerama Dome in Hollywood.

I'd never been to that school before and I was amazed to see how Godawful tasteful and intelligent everyone looked. All the students looked like they were Harvard Phi Beta Kappas. I couldn't help thinking, "Is this a good thing? Should IQ points determine who gets to make films? Doesn't creativity and street smarts enter into it?" How would Rock and Roll have fared if only Julliard grads had been allowed to make records? Anyway, I was still glad to be there.

This review is going to come across as negative. It's not. The film represents a big advance and I'm glad I saw it. If I sound negative it's because the film's many good points have been covered in countless other reviews and I don't see the point in repeating them. I only have a few paragraphs so I'll limit myself to talking about what might have been done better in the film. Nitpickers and curmudgeons, this is for you!

One of the biggest flaws in the film is that it doesn't contain memorable characters. The characters aren't bad, they're better than average for 3D, but they're supporting actors trying to do the job of leading actors. They just don't have the weight to carry a film. Memorable characters used to be a Disney specialty: The Witch and the Dwarfs in "Snow White," Pinnochio, Jimminy Cricket (spelled right?), Peter Pan and Captain Hook were all heavy hitters. What happened?

On another point, the writing contained too much exposition and too often sounded like a fleshed-out story bible. You get the feeling that an elaborate ending was figured out, then the rest of the the film evolved in logical steps backwards from the ending. In my opinion that's a mistake. It's a good idea to know where you're going but a good story is more organic than that. Writers (hopefully artist writers) shouldn't sit down at a table and say, "What logical step are we going to flesh out today?" They should be saying, "What can we do at this point to wow the audience!? "

On another point, Ratatouille is skimpy on set pieces. What's a set piece? The Mad Tea Party in "Alice in Wonderland" was a set piece. The giant cactus dance in "Three Caballeros" was one. Groucho and Chico's "party of the first part" sketch in "Night at the Opera" was a set piece. Olivier's speech at the opening of "Richard III" was a set piece. It's an almost self-contained sketch or musical number within a larger story that's an excuse for tour-de-force writing and performance. Set pieces are the reason a film exists. In a way the rest of the story is just binder to hold the set pieces together.

And where were the funny scenes? I saw plenty of humorous scenes but only a few funny ones. The film needed a character that could support broad comedy. Maybe Remy's undiscriminating friend could have done it.

And why was the dialogue so normal? I expect films to have memorable dialogue. Aren't you glad Bogart said, "We'll always have Paris," rather than "Think of the memories we'll have of Paris" ? Aren't you glad Anthony Hopkins said, "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti" rather than "He bothered me so I had to eat him"? Some writers and artists are specialists at dialogue and every filmmaker should have their addresses on hand. You hire them as consultants.

Last but not least, the film was 3D which is wildly expensive and extremely limiting. I hate to say it but in 2007 you can still get more funny acting with a ten cent pencil than a top of the line desktop.

But acting isn't the only way 3D is limiting. Suppose one of the Ratatouille artists had come up with really hilarious gags involving passers-by on the street?* You couldn't do them. You'd have to throw them out. It would take 3D artists forever to construct each new character and it would cost a mint. That's why 3D films are so infuriatingly claustrophobic. The limitations of the medium force you to be nose to nose with the same small set of characters for an entire film.


* The one gag that did involve a passer-by, a bicyclist, got a big laugh. Wouldn't it have been great to see more gags like that?