"CRIME DOES NOT PAY"

Dark Horse just published an anthology of stories from "Crime Does Not Pay," for my money one of the best adult comic books ever. I skimmed my friend Mike's copy of the book, and I got the impression that the book's stories were chosen for the writing, and not the artwork, but maybe I'm wrong. Jack Cole used to draw for this comic, and so did Paul Gustafson.

You never heard of Gustafson? That's a sample of his work above. He had a real cinematic style. How do you like that second panel where we see ordinary pedestrians waiting for a light to change from the vantage point of some evil force lurking in the shadows?

The comic was edited by Charles Biro and Bob Wood in the early forties. In real life, Wood lived the life he wrote about and ended up beating his wife to death with a steam iron. He went to prison for it, and was murdered by another inmate.

"Crimes by Women" looks like a pretty good title too, to judge by the cover. There were a lot of crime titles in those days.

Look at that policeman (above)! He looks like he was drawn by Kirby, but I think the drawing is credited to someone else.

"Murder Incorporated" (above)  looks like an interesting comic....

....as does "Crime Reporter!" I wish I could read these comics.

Geez, here (above) we have the shocking immediacy of seeing a man shot at point blank range from the point of view of the shooter.

I hate to seem like a prude, but maybe these comics were too strong for kids. They make crime and sadism look exciting in a way that EC comics never did.

How do you like the far away look (above) on the stabber's face? 'Probably an editor's change.

ASTRONOMY PICTURES YOU MAY NOT HAVE SEEN

Good Lord!!! This is the solar flare that made headlines when it escaped from the sun this June. It's amazing that the sun can lose that kind of mass so frequently and still continue to burn for billions of years.

Above, a peek into a sunspot. The little pieces of yellow "corn" around the rim are not currently understood. Click to enlarge.

Here's (above) the Sleeping Beauty Galaxy. The outer rim of dark gases rotates in the opposite direction of the stars! Why? Who knows? Maybe we're seeing the aftermath of two galaxies that collided.

Here's (above) a detail of the Orion Nebula, shot with the Spitzer Space telescope, which trails the Earth's orbit around the sun. It's farther away from the Earth than it's better known relative, the Hubble, and only takes pictures in the infra-red spectrum.

Above, an even smaller detail of Orion. Be sure to click to enlarge.

Above, what is thought to be evidence of seasonal running water on Mars. The water is believed to be just under the surface in this area. It's puzzling, because even the summers are pretty cold on Mars. Since Mars isn't very geologically active, where does the heat come from that melts the water?

If you were standing in an eroded crater on Mars this (above) is what you might see. It was taken by one of the Mars rovers. This is an impressive picture when seen large.

 What's the name of the nearest star? The answer in grade school textbooks is Alpha Centauri (above), but that's not exactly true.

Actually, I knew that even when I was a kid...I liked to read about astronomy, so I knew things like that. Once a commissioner of schools came to visit and he asked the kids in my class a few general knowledge questions. One of them was, what's the closest star to Earth? I shouted "Proxima Centauri!" and the commissioner frowned and called on another student, the class goody-goody, who answered "Alpha Centauri." I was humiliated in front of all the girls in class, but I was right. Alpha Centauri is a system consisting of a double star and one stand alone sun, all orbiting around a common center, and the closest of them all is Proxima.

This immensely disappointing picture of Saturn (above) was taken by Cassini. It reveals outward-reaching spokes of feint gas plumes, possibly from the moon, Encelydus (spelled right?).  I couldn't bring myself to publish the picture large...I almost didn't publish it at all. I like to think of Saturn as having clean, round rings, and the plumes bugger that up. I'll make an effort to put this picture out of my mind, and I apologize if I disillusioned anyone here.

Aaaargh! Another sad picture (above)! It's America's last space shuttle returning to Earth from the point of view of The International Space Station. The past generation of shuttles simply weren't big enough to carry large payloads into space.

Planetary astronomers are interested in all weather, including the weather on Earth. Here (above) a tornado attempts to form over a farm house in Kansas. I can only imagine how the people inside were reacting to this. The streaks on the pictures are wildly energetic hailstones.

BTW: All the pictures here are from the site called "Astronomy Picture of the Day," URL on the sidebar.

RAMBLING THOUGHTS ABOUT EARLY COMICS

Yep! More early newspaper strips! I thought I'd free associate on some surreal (if that's the term) pictures that Allan Holtz recently published in his blog, "Strippers Guide (link in the sidebar)."

Above, "Polly" from 1906. What strikes me about these pictures is the reminder that a hundred years ago newspaper readers routinely read what would be considered underground comics today, and didn't see anything strange in it at all.

Surrealism in comic strips goes way back. This French strip (above) is from 1895, and wasn't at all untypical. It's very tempting to believe that the whole surrealist movement was inspired by cartoonists.

Surrealism was all over the comics page at the turn of the century. Here's (above) a newspaper strip from 1907 which was all about weird role reversals. Wood whittles kids, cigars smoke people, flies trap humans with "human paper"....it was all kinda clever. I don't know if you could get away with that now. Today surreal subjects are associated with drugs.

Believe it or not sequential comic stories were somewhat common in European newspapers and magazines at least as far back as the 1840s. How far back depends on how you define the term "comics." The strip above is from Punch, 1868.

One of the things that prevented early comics from having mass appeal was that they were initially used as a kind of editorial cartoon, for the purpose of ridiculing political and cultural opponents. The medium never really took off till editors began to realize that comics could be family fare, funny in their own right, like the "Jocko" strip above (date: 1900).

I'll digress back to surrealism to hypothesize that Edward Lear (above) might have created surrealism way back when in the mid-19th Century. Lots of people drew weird before Lear, but he showed that weirdness could cross the line into fine art. Aaaargh! Come to think of it, Hieronymus Bosch and others did that too...I guess surrealism is a movement that has many fathers.

While I'm on the subject of Lear, what do you think of this painting (above) of Masada that he did in 1868? Imagine a cartoonist like Lear pulling off this kind of realism! Click to enlarge.

Here's (above) Lear painting trees in the style of...dare I say it?...Bill Peet!

CARTOONS OF THE 1930S

John K is a big fan of the early Terrytoons, and of Bill Nolan's "Oswald the Lucky Rabbit" cartoons (sample, above).  He's always talking about this stuff, and his enthusiasm is infectious. Now I've got the bug. Have you seen any of these cartoons lately? if not, you're missing out.

A word of caution: If you're not used to these old cartoons you might be put off by the slow, deliberate way that people talk, and by the lack of story and character. There's a reason they're like that, but writing about it would take more space than I have, so I'll have to cover it in another post.



Boy, old cartoons (above) like the one above are really cartoony. The artwork is uneven, though. The artist who did the crude Red Riding Hood at the start is obviously not in the same league as the guy who did the hilarious marriage sequence at the end. My guess is that some artists were hired because they could draw, and others because they were funny, even if they weren't exactly terrific draughtsmen.

The skipping Red Riding Hood scene does have one thing going for it, though. It was obviously intended to be funny. Scripts in the modern animation industry very rarely intend to be funny. Clever, mildly humorous, wry, topical, hip, etc....but hardly ever  funny. The director gave the animator a chance to do a funny skip here and he blew it...but he did get a chance, and that's something few current animators get.



Take a look at the "Uncle Tom's Cabin"-type cartoon above. Right after the start Topsy comes in doing a funny bounce. We cut to her hippo sister doing a funny run, then the two sisters do a duet. The duet wasn't all that funny but, hey, two out of three isn't a bad score.

The point I want to make is that this cartoon is structured to provide plenty of opportunity for funny animation. When these cartoons were made, funny drawings moving in a funny way was almost universally regarded as the purpose of animation. What ever happened to that idea? When's the last time you saw anything like that in a current cartoon?



By the late 30s the animation industry seemed to have grown smug. The backgrounds got more realistic, the characters acquired personality, every cartoon told a clear story, and animators could confidently draw almost whatever they could imagine. That's all great, but what happened to funny? Cartoons increasingly became humorous and professional rather than funny. Thank God for Clampett and Avery, who bucked the trend and insisted on funny at any cost.

That's a Clampett black and white above: "Porky's Surprise Party." Clampett believed in character AND funny. He refused to choose between the two, reasoning that you could have both. And you can.

MY FAVORITE HALLOWEEN MASKS SO FAR (2011)

New versions of classic EC and Creepy Magazine masks seem to be in this year. I kinda like the one above.

Niiiice! I think it's (above) made out of wood!

The Crypt Keeper (above)! Very nice!

Variations of this mask (above) have been around since I was a kid. No wonder! It's a classic!

Haw! Above, a sort of Rankin and Bass witch!

Above, a good sidekick for an evil mastermind.

Above, what appears to be drag queen Frankensteins.

Lots of people didn't like the Saw movies. I kinda liked the first one. The mask from the film looks like something Tim Burton would have come up with.

Nice, but I wonder if most people would look as good in this mask as this (above) guy does?

A bit too weird for me (above) , but it's nicely..."executed."

Egad! It's a Big Daddy Roth, "Not Brand Eccch"-type Frankenstein!

I think I'll get one of these foreheads. I might have to travel somewhere incognito!

THE MYSTIQUE OF RASPBERRY CREPES

Everybody loves crepes. It's a mystery why, because they're as thin as bathroom tissue and couldn't possibly add much flavor to the fillings people put inside them.

They break easy, too. The %X&$# things just won't stay together, and they have to be cooked just right. So why, you're asking, do millions of people all over the world go to so much trouble to make them?

I know the answer, but it's impossible to communicate it with words. Crepes have the unique ability to plant obsession in the mind of their maker. I hate to say it, but you'll have to make a few to see what I mean. If you haven't done that already, then here's your chance. That's my own, well-tested recipe for raspberry crepes below.

A few comments before we start....

First, these breakfast crepes are made to go with a good quality hot coffee. This formula won't work if you try to drink juice or water instead. Think of the coffee as being the most important thing, and the crepe as a flavor enhancer for the coffee. Make the coffee first so it'll be ready the instant the crepes are finished.

Secondly, this recipe uses crepes that you buy from the supermarket. They won't be as good as the kind you could make yourself, but they're still pretty tasty, and they're easier for beginners to use.

Third, I make these with fresh raspberries, but any berry will do, including frozen berries.

Okay, let's start. I keep my crepes frozen til they're needed. No thawing is necessary; the crepes are room temperature and come fully cooked right out of the bag.

Put a crepe on a plate and spread a little berry jam or preserves onto it in a confined area shaped like a 1/4 pie slice. If you're tempted to use cream cheese, don't.  Spreading it will tear the crepe.

Now put a little butter and sugar into a pan and turn the heat to low+. When it's hot and the sugar begins to caramelize, put in the berries...fewer than you think you'll need. Keep turning the berries and very gently press down once in a while to be sure they're cooking. Add a few drops of lemon juice and a couple of drops of vanilla extract. When the berries have turned into into something messy and juicy, that's your cue to take them off the flame and empty them into the pie slice area of the crepe.

Add a little nutmeg, cinnamon, and maybe brandy. Brandy isn't necessary, but if you use it, take care to use only a few drops lest the crepe become soggy and break.

Carefully fold the crepe in half, then fold it again into a triangle shape.  Add whipped cream (I use Reddi-whip because the gas doesn't leak out of their nozzles...) to the top,  and top it off with a single uncooked raspberry.

Now for the final step. On the plate beside the finished crepe pour some good quality melted vanilla ice cream. That's for dipping. If you expect to dip a lot, and require more ice cream, put the melted ice cream into a separate saucer.

Quickly wipe the frying pan with a damp paper towel to make it ready for a possible second crepe and that's it...you're ready to eat!

Troubleshooting: If your crepe falls apart, you put too much filling into it. Either that, or the filling was too soggy. You could fix that by using two crepes instead of one, but that would ruin the taste. I don't know why, but the thinness of the crepe, which causes so many handling problems, is absolutely essential to the flavor.

If the crepe does tear, it's no big deal. It'll still taste good. Some people get around the tearing problem by rolling the dry, unfilled crepe up like a cigar.  They dip the cigar into the soggy ingredients and eat it that way. That's fine, the crepe stays together that way, but for me it's cheating. You'll never understand the mystique of crepes if you do that.

Obsessing over keeping the triangle from falling apart is part of the game. You master it, then you get to feel superior to all the lesser people who can't do it. Millions of crepe eaters agree that this ridiculous show of status is somehow important....and it is.

And, oh yes...don't forget the coffee!