VINTAGE CHRISTMAS GREETINGS FROM THE "STRIPPER'S GUIDE" BLOG

I'm having difficulty using the computer because it's in my kid's old room and my kid is staying with us for the holiday.  He's pacing up and down in the living room right now, waiting for me to finish typing.  Aaaargh! I can't think when I have to write this fast!

Anyway, here's some vintage comic strip Christmas pages from a hundred years ago. Many thanks to Allan Holtz of Stripper's Guide (link in the sidebar) for the swipes. Click to enlarge.

About the strip above, I like the way this artist lays out the page. It's an ignorant style but there's something funny about it.  Sort of Hugh Lofting (Dr. Dolittle) meets Opper.

Above, The Katzenjammer Kids. I didn't used to like this strip but it's growing on me.

I like the simple, linear layout showing stupid characters sitting at a dinner table (detail above).

Very nice (above)! If I were an editor I'd run a strip like this regardless of whether the character had appeal. Reading this makes me want to draw.

Here's (above) the final panels in a two week long series where Santa develops a military plan to bomb a town with toys. Oops...I have to surrender the room to my kid. 'Hope you guys had a good Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY (2010)!

What with Christmas coming, things are really busy at my house and I don't have time to put up something elaborate. I just want to wish everybody here the best of Christmases. I hope you and yours prosper and prevail in the coming year!

Here's a few songs to get you in the mood, if you're not already:




How about "Ave Maria" by Pavarotti?  I couldn't embed the video, but here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojeLyPo_Wz4&feature=related
















MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!

COOKING THE CHRISTMAS STEAK

Before we start, check out this unbelievably cool t-shirt that John K. gave me! Have you seen the store on his site lately? What a guy! He re-thought the whole way that internet stores are done, then he stacked the store with images that are so beautiful that you never want to leave it. Half the shirts are on sale, too!

John's site: http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/

But enough about that...we have serious work to do.

This post is about this l'il baby...the magisterial emperor of steak...THE RIB-EYE! Those little white streaks are what makes the cut so famous. They're little veins of fat that melt into the steak while it's cooking and give it that over-the-top flavor.

Rib-eyes are kind of expensive, so when they're on sale I get three and put the other two in the freezer. Of course it takes a day for frozen steaks to thaw in the refrigerator, and they only taste good if they're  cooked when when they're at room temperature, inside and out.

Prepare everything you'll need before you start cooking. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees and put your empty iron (not teflon) frying pan in so it gets nice and hot. Chop up the onions and mushrooms (don't cut the mushrooms too small), and make the dinner salad. Have the vinaigrette (1/2 balsamic vinegar and 1/2 extra virgin olive oil) handy for the salad, but don't put it on yet.

You won't need olive oil for cooking the steak. Peanut oil , saffron, or canola are better for that because they resist scorching. Prepare the raw steak by basting it with a little (not too much) bit of oil and "Bull's Eye Original Barbecue Sauce" on both sides.  These will seep into the cracks and aid the cooking. Put kosher salt and ground pepper all over it so that when you cook it a thin crust will form which will keep the juices in.

Now it's time to cook. When the oven's reached 500 degrees take the hot iron pan out and put it on top of the stove on medium heat. Put some heat resistant oil in the pan and drop in the precious steak. Let it  cook 30 seconds on each side. Turn it over with tongs. You don't want to pierce the meat with anything, not even a fork.

Now whisk the iron pan and steak into the hot oven. Let the steak cook 2 minutes on either side. Use tongs to turn it. Don't poke it. Trust that everything is okay.

Just trust.

Especially don't attempt to test it by cutting into it. Trust the wisdom of the thousands of cooks who  preceded you.

  Now you can remove the pan from the oven. Put it on top of the stove on medium heat,  remove the meat with tongs, and let it finish cooking on your dinner plate, maybe under a canopy of aluminum foil. Don't poke it or cut it!

Now's the time to cook the mushrooms and onions.  Put some olive oil and lots of butter into the empty steak pan. Mix them with the steak juice that's already there. Now pour in the mushrooms and onions (and green pepper, if you prefer). Add a little soy sauce and brown sugar. Be sure not to overcook the mushrooms. It should be done just about the time the steak finishes self-cooking on the dinner plate.

So that's it. Combine the steak and mushrooms on the plate and you're good to go. If you've followed directions, you should be facing an exquisitely juicy, medium-rare steak. And...Oh my Gosh, I forgot the dinner salad! Now's the time to vigorously shake or stir the pre-made vinaigrette, and pour it over the lettuce and tomato slices.

What to drink? A cabernet, definitely. Or how about that new Belgian beer that Trader Joe is selling? It's their own brand, and it's pretty good.

BTW: I watched several videos, read several articles, mooched steaks at John's house, and did a number of experiments on my own before settling on the advice in this video as the backbone of my steak regimen. Here's a link to what I consider the most helpful video. The guy who made it looks a lot like Bruce Timm. You don't suppose Bruce.....? Naaaaaaaw!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yX1Q3x9Cs4

CHOICE WOLVERTON

Mike sent me these Wolvertons, which almost made me fall out of the chair.  According to Mike the artist's name is Colin Batty.  Man, Batty's done a service to the whole cartoon world here! Nice job, Colin!

Batty's site: http://www.freakybuttrue.com/wolverton.htm

You have to wonder if characters like this could work in 3D animation.

The underlighting (above) makes this "Lena the Hyena" look menacing.

Aaaah...true art!

What program were these pictures done on? My first guess was ZBrush, but maybe they were done on "Sculptris," which is something I just found out about. It's a free program.

Here's some Wolverton-style stop motion animation courtesy of commenter Ben Leeser. It's a YouTube video called "Ugly Girl," posted by Necrofinger (!). This got over 11,000,000 hits! Thanks, Ben!

WHERE WERE THE HARRY POTTER TOYS?

It's been 13 years since the first Harry Potter book came out in America, and ten years since the first Potter film debuted. Since Potter books and films were enormous money makers almost right from the start, you have to wonder why Warners was so slow to license toys from the stories.  Oh, there were notebooks and scarves and wands, but little else for years. What happened? Why did Warners drag its feet for so long when there were hundreds  of millions of dollars to be made?

The toy I wanted to buy was a tree...just a nicely designed evil tree with flexible arms. The one above is from an illustration in a Lord of the Rings calendar.

Potter toys were so slow coming out that fans took to making their own Potter toys...like the toy of this  triple-decker "Knight Bus" that Harry rode after the Muggles kicked him out.  Eventually Lego put out a bus toy, but it was a case of too little too late. Also, the Lego toys cost too much.

Set designs in the films (above) suggested lots of interesting toy possibilities, but Warners wasn't interested. You get the feeling that no one in the Warners hierarchy really liked toys.

Too bad Weasley used an ordinary car to rescue Harry from the Muggles. Using a neat old car (above) would have opened up a nice toy possibility. Come to think of it though, you could still sell toys like this in a Potter store.

I'd like to see what posters (above) are available in the Potter theme park...the park that opened up for the first time in the Summer of this year, 10 years after the first movie. By the time it opened the last book in the series had come out.

Talking about posters, I'd like to have seen posters which speculated on what other wizard schools around the world (above) might have looked like.

You used to be able to buy terrific maps (above) of the British Isles.  Potter fans would love to get hold of maps like that. Can you get those in the Park?

It would be nice to have a building block set (above) that you could actually make Hogwarts-type stuff with, and that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg.

Maybe the ghosts that roam through the school (above) need their own action figures.

I love steam punk watches. The Park could clean up by selling inexpensive ones with great design and with secret compartments.

You could sell plastic mad scientist equipment in a Potter store. Get somebody good to design them. The mad scientist gear you see in Halloween stores is terrible.

How about funny Muggle masks?

I like the idea of doing up a corner of a kids room like Voldemort's cave in the "Prince" story. Cardboard or painted styrofoam kits could do the trick.

Computer and keyboard skins?

It;s fun to imagine what Potter bookshelves (above)might look like.  

Toy Hogwarts Express trains will need trestle kits.

The right window shades could add moody, Potteresque color to a bedroom.

I have a ton more pictures which cover a lot more territory than I was able to touch on here. Maybe sometime in the future I'll do a follow up post.

One of the things I like about the Potter stories is that they attract bright and imaginative kids, and making toys and media for a quality audience like that is an interesting challenge. The Potter books touch on architecture, magic, English history and tradition, engineering, mythology and monsters. The toy possibilities are endless!

BTW, the Mayan wall above is there because it reminds me of the moving bricks in the first two Potter films. There must be some way to get a decent toy out of those bricks!

Also BTW, an anonymous commenter who seems to be in the know about selling toys had this to say about my criticism of Warners:

• "It wasn't Warner Brothers---they wanted to license and tried like crazy. There were more toys licensed for the very first film than people might remember, but they didn't sell.
• 
  
• it was the distributors and stores. They were spooked by the new Star Wars films debacle. Although Lucas got paid up front, a majority of the toys were unsold, and the distributors had to eat the cost. Lots of cost.
• 
  
• The window for selling these toys/shelf space is also very, VERY short. 
• 
  
• I don't agree with all the short term thinking a company like WalMart (the largest distributor in the word) has, but it's their business.
• 
  
• Movie toys mostly just don't sell very well. The lead time is long, and films are no sure but. Remember The Simpsons? When it first came out...no toys. Same with Toy Story. Few toys (until later)
• 
  
• While specialty toy makers make wonderful stuff, they're often expensive, and have a very limited market."  

I TELL THE STORY OF "DIE WALKURE" (AND PLUG ZUBIN MEHTA)

My retelling of Wagner's story was inspired by a the version on DVD by Zubin Mehta and the Valencia Community Orchestra. Trust me, this version is worth seeing and is reputed to be one of the best Walkuries recorded in the digital era. I saw it at Steve Worth's place last night and it bowled me over.

I needed examples to illustrate the story but I could find only one good clip of the Mehta version, and that was  a rehearsal. It's still well worth seeing, though. It's the last video on the bottom; don't miss it. Most of the excerpts here are by other artists. If you're hearing this music for the first time, then I envy you.


Anyway, here's the story. It's one of the greatest stories in all of opera, so I don't think it'll put anyone to sleep.

A good place to start is with the action described in the clip from the top of the post, the one where Siegmund and Sieglinde sing about their love for each other.  This is no wimpy, half-hearted crush...these guys have just met their kindred souls (each other), the one who they'll both fight to the death for. Sieglinde's already married to a brutal neanderthal (I'm taking liberty with the story in order to condense it) who's enslaved her. They run into the night to escape him.

The problem is that the gods have witnessed all this and have taken sides.  In order to prevent a civil war in Valhalla, Wotan orders Brunhilda and her Valkyries to kill Sigmund. This is a big deal because the Valkyries are the ultimate lethal weapon. No human army could stand up to them, let alone a solitary hero like Siegmund.



Brunnhilda finds the couple and prepares to kill them, but can't go through with it. Theirs is the purest example of love she's ever seen. She can't prevent the other Valkyries from helping the enraged husband to kill Siegmund, but she's determined to prevent harm from coming to Sieglinde. She begs the other Valkyries to help the mortal woman escape. If need be, she's willing to stand up to Wotan himself.



Wotan finds out and is outraged. Not even the Valkyries can help Brunnhilde now. He punishes her by making her mortal and putting her to sleep. The first human slob who finds her and wakes her up will take possession of her. She'll live in misery like a slave, will feel pain, and will grow old and die.

I forgot to say that Brunnhilda was Wotan's favorite child. They love each other fiercely. As sleep overcomes her, Brunnhilda begs Wotan for one last favor. Let a wall of intense fire surround her sleeping body. Make it so horrific that only the greatest of heroes could penetrate it. Wotan grants her wish then, grief-stricken, he exits. The lights slowly fade out on her inert body covered with a shield and surrounded by a ring of intense supernatural fire. Neat story, huh?  The events continue in the next opera in the cycle, "Siegfried."

This Christmas, consider giving yourself a Christmas present...the Blue-Ray DVD of Mehta's "Die Walkure." It's $35 on Amazon. Netflix doesn't seem to have it. If you're hard up for dough, maybe you can pester your local library to buy a copy.  I recommend watching it on video, rather than listening to it on CD. The English subtitles are indispensable aids to understanding the story.

BTW, I wonder if this post will find itself on the radar of Wagner aficionados. Those people are brutal. They address each other with openers like, "Dear stupid" and "Dear Dumb Ass." Differences of opinion are treated like heresies. 

WHY I LIKE HARRY POTTER

I didn't always like it. When the first book came out in 1997 I spot read in it and wasn't impressed.  It seemed like a rehash of Lord of the Rings, which in book form I never liked much. On the eve of the movie debut in 2001 you could hear my yawn a block away. Then I saw the film.

Holy Cow! It was fascinating! I came out of the theater muttering, "So THAT'S what Rowling had in mind!" I couldn't believe what a blockhead I was for being so dense.

Looking back on it, I think my resistance had to do with Rowling's disappointingly normal dialogue and  and narrative. It's not bad, it's just not special. You expect English writers to dazzle with language, and she doesn't. No only that but she writes in a mass market adolescent style, which strikes me as somewhat simplistic.

So why do I like her? It's because great assets outweigh great liabilities. She has an astonishing imagination. Add to that a wonderful ability with characters,  an infectious idealism,  and a marvelous way with scenes and images. On the film side, she's amazingly good at picking collaborators. Her choice of actors (above) and art directors was perfect, and her out-of-left-field choice of Chris Columbus to direct was inspired.

Here's (above) the real star of the story: Hogwarts Castle. It's a wonderful image. All by itself the picture of the school asks the question: "What if school was fun, what if it combined serious purpose with tradition and life and death struggle? What if the buildings themselves were monuments to the efficacy and noble purpose of man? What if  marvelous, life-changing truths were revealed there? What if students were expected to be clever and adventurous, and not just passive receivers of knowledge? What if you made loyal, lifelong friends there? What if your own life, the only one you'll ever have, wasn't scrinched by muggles?"

Of course you don't travel to the world's best school on a plain old bus. Rowling has us take a real steam-driven train over trestles and through beautiful countryside that looks as much like Hawaii as England.

 In the films directed by Chris Columbus, the interior of the school is beautifully art directed. I love this idea of candles hovering above tables in the dining hall (above). The addition of ghosts walking through doesn't hurt either.

Terrific set design (above) for the staircase sequences.

Above, the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Very nice!

Above, Dumbledore's office as it's reconstructed in the theme park that opened in July. Can you believe that it took 13 years to get a small park going?

The park is okay, just okay. Can you believe how lame this candy store (above) is? It looks like the identical design used in the Zany Brainy stores. Come to think of it, Disneyland is full of stores like this. Did the designer take time to read any of the books?

The merchandising on Harry Potter has been woefully unimaginative. Potter could have sold 10 times the toys that it did. This reaffirms my belief that 80% of all toy executives should be tarred and feathered.

At least the park cafeteria (above) has an interesting ceiling. I think all ordinary high schools should have cafeterias with complex, interesting ceilings. Occasionally a kid will get hurt when illegally trying to climb in them, but that's to be expected. You don't want the world to be so safe that no one can have fun anymore.