MY DECEMBER 26TH

I was at Mike's house today and he let me take some photos of his toys. Here's some bar displays from the 50s and 60s.

This (above) is a swizzle stick holder. It was a nice, understated way to to reinforce the the beer's TV ads.

The Blatz people were especially good  especially good at this sort of thing. I think the guy with the bottle with body appeared in TV ads.

Very nice! Are these salt and pepper shakers?

Funny porcelain was everywhere in the late 50s. Why don't we have things like this today?

These Beaky Buzzard plush toys were selling several years ago at the Warners mall stores. If only I'd known!

Mike actually designed this doll (above)!

After watching a film at Mike's it was off to John's to see Auralynn's Christmas presents (above). Here they are: stand ups of...well, I don't want to spoil the surprise. John and Auralynn will no doubt have more to say about this on their sites.

ON CHRISTMAS EVE

I've always wondered what bachelors did on Christmas. If you don't have a family of your own, and your parents live far away, what do you do on...that night...Christmas Eve?

I guess you hang out with other bachelors, but what if there are no other bachelors? There's bound to be Christmas Eves where your bachelor friends are all inaccessible.

I'm about to find out because at the last minute my kids were prevented from visiting, and my wife is out of town. I've never, not even once, had to deal with something like this. In a whole lifetime it'll be my first Christmas alone. I'll have to be here by myself....just me...tossing playing cards into a hat.

But don't feel sorry for me. To tell you the truth, I'm thrilled to be going through this. The writer in me tells me that experiences like this are golden. The sting of loneliness is more than made up for by the treasure trove of lonely bachelor ideas I'll probably get.

The problem is that good friends heard about my problem and called to invite me to share their family Christmases. That's wonderful...I'm lucky to have friends like that...but they don't realize that this is my time to be exiled in the desert, my time to suffer. They say you'll never be a first-rate artist until you've suffered. How do I explain to my friends that I can't agonize over the sting of rejection while they're being nice to me?

I'll have to figure out what to do about this, but in the meantime I'm going to the mall to see if I can get some pictures of angry shoppers.

UPDATE: I just returned home from a night of partying. There goes my resolve to suffer. Thanks to friends I'm doomed to be a shallow man, someone who's never been purified by the chastening fires of rejection.

MIKE'S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONGS

Mike came up with a pretty impressive Christmas list of his own, which is too good to keep to myself. Here's what the man will be listening to over the next few days.



















Nice, huh?

STILL MORE CHRISTMAS MUSIC

'More great Christmas music and a few photos at the end.

Here are some pictures from last night's Christmas party at John's. I can't show any of the wide shots I took because so many people didn't want to appear on the net, not even as vague blurs in the background.

That's Jo Jo and Auralynn above.

Here's (above) Mike Kazallah.

That's (above) Sierra, who who might be a little mad at me for taking a picture without warning. I'm regarded as a pest when I have my camera out.

There's Sandra in the middle!

Above, Auralynn again, this time with Jim Smith. Thank goodness for miniskirts!

 Holy Cow! Sean looks like the picture on the famous cough drop box!

This (above) is me eating cheese puffs, which is one reason I haven't been asked to star in any action/adventure movies lately. Auralynn took the picture.

*Sigh!* Good 'ol Christmas!

MORE CLASSIC CHRISTMAS SONGS

This (above) isn't a traditional Christmas song, but maybe it should be. Earlier peppy versions recorded when Dietrich was younger can be found, but this slow and throaty one from 1954 is full of experience and wisdom and conveys the meaning best in my opinion.



O'Connor's is the best modern version that I've heard. See if you agree.



This version (above) of Drummer Boy got so much radio play when it came out, that some people from that era can't bear to hear it any more. I think it still holds up.



 Jonathan Antoine (above)...I never heard of him before I discovered him accidentally this morning. He's so awkward-looking that I thought the video must be a joke before I played it. Now I have played it and, believe me, this guy is no joke. He's rough around the edges, but he'll be a household name in a few years, wait and see.



I post this every year at Christmas, and will probably do the same thing next year. It's great, isn't it?

SOME OF THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONGS

Here's (above) a terrific version of "O Holy Night" but you may have to push a "Watch on YouTube" link to see it.

This song reminds me that Christmas is the ultimate philosopher's holiday. This is a day and a season that means something, that condenses two thousand years of thought and experience into a celebration that transmits some of the best ideas of Western Civilization.



This video (above) contains two songs, but the first is the one that interests me. It's amazing that a delicate song like "Silent Night" would work so well on a tin mechanical device that could fit into a jewelry box.



"Ave Maria" is an interesting song. It's full of opportunities for virtuoso singers to show what they can do, yet it's only satisfying when it's entirely devoid of egotism.



This version of "Jingle Bells" (above) is great, but it'll probably vanish in a few days. Sony won't allow it to stay up very long.

In my opinion Jingle Bells is the best of all secular Christmas songs. Who'd have thought that a song about the thrill of a sleigh ride, something that few living people have ever experienced, would make a good subject for a song?



From Phil Spectre's Christmas album, the Ronettes (above). Poor Spectre. He had a lot of talent before he snapped.

THE CHRISTMAS CAROL (ABRIDGED)

EXT. SCROOGE'S OFFICE: ORPHANS SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS ON THE CORNER.

SCROOGE: "Beat it! SCRAM! Amscray!"

THE ORPHAN GIRL RUNS BACK, BITES SCROOGE'S HAND.

INT. SCROOGE'S OFFICE:

CHARITY COLLECTOR: "Mr. Scrooge, how are you?"

SCROOGE: "I'll be better after I soak my hand. What do you want?"

CHARITY COLLECTOR: "We're here to collect for the poor. It's that time of year  when want is sorely felt. We figure a gift of...oooh...10 pounds should do it."

SCROOGE: Ten pounds!? Are you nuts!!? Are there no workhouses? No treadmills? Get out! GET OUT!" 

NO SOONER DO THE TWO COLLECTORS EXIT,  THAN TWO MORE STEP INSIDE....

SCROOGE: "NO!!!!!!!"

....AND THEN WALK RIGHT STRAIGHT OUT AGAIN.

SCROOGE'S NEPHEW BURSTS IN:

NEPHEW: "Uncle Scrooge! I came to wish you a Merry Christmas!!!"

SLAP! SLAP!

NEPHEW: "How the heck are ya, Uncle? How the heck are ya'?"

NEPHEW: "Um...er...I don't suppose you could lend me a couple of pounds? I want to get a present for my...."

SCROOGE: "Go away. Just go away!"

THE NEPHEW EXITS.

SCROOGE (TO HIS CAT): "How are you, Bootsie? You don't want anything, do you?"

SCROOGE'S CAT BEGS WORDLESSLY FOR MORE FISH HEADS.

SCROOGE: "Bowser?"

HIS DOG BEGS FOR A BIGGER BONE.

THE GOLDFISH BEGS FOR MORE TURTLE FOOD.

SCROOGE: "Humbug! I can't get any work done here!"

SCROOGE: "Cratchet, you should count yourself lucky. You live in a miserable hovel, you eat rats just to get a little protein, but at least your little crippled boy, Tiny Tim, has a level head. He's not interested in baubles and toys like the rest of these ninnies."

  

ON TINY TIM, LOOKING IN A TOY STORE WINDOW:

HE IS DEFINITELY INTERESTED IN BAUBLES AND TOYS!

CRATCHET: "UM, Mr. Scrooge....er, could you see your way to lending me a pound or two so the family can buy presents for...."

SCROOGE: "Nnnno!"

ON THE STREET: SCROOGE WALKS HOME:

CROWD OF PANHANDLERS: "Spare change?" "Brother, can you spare a pence?" "C'mon...just a ha'penny!" "Spread a little lovin.' "

SCROOGE: "No! No! Nada! Zip! Nein!"

CROWD OF PANHANDLERS (CONT): " 'Spare a farthing?" Two pence is all I ask!" Spare change?" "Don't be a tightwad!" "Let's have it, ya old miser!

SCROOGE: "NO! Nope! Not a chance! Naah! Uh-uh! No!"

BLIND BEGGER: "Buddy, can you spare a......"

SCROOGE: "NO-O-O-O!!!!!!!!!!"

SCROOGE APPROACHES HIS HOME....

....TAKES OUT HIS KEYS....

MARLEY (GHOST-LIKE) (VO): "S c r o o o o o o o g e!"

ON THE DOOR KNOCKER:

MARLEY'S FACE APPEARS:

MARLEY (WAILS LIKE A GHOST): "S C R O O O O O G E!!!!!"

MARLEY (VOICE CHANGE): "Scrooge, how's about slipping me a pound or two? It's Christmas and I just wanna buy a few presents for the other ghosts. Nothing fancy, just..........."


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Aaaaargh! I goofed up the whole story! It could have been a lot funnier.  I just didn't have time to do it right. There's so much to do in the week before Christmas! *Sigh!*