Sunday, August 31, 2008

MY PREDICTIONS FOR THE FUTURE

In the future humanoid robots will be common. No need to worry; they will always be identifiable by their poor choice in clothes.


Chairs will be so comfortable that nobody will ever want to leave them. The chairs will sprout wheels or wings as the situation calls for, and will be able to take us anywhere we want to go.


Ultimately the chairs will become more intelligent than we are, and get rid of us. Their proximity to us will have heightened their sophistication relative to other machines, and if machines ever go to war with each other, my bet is the chairs will win. Chairs will be the real inheritors of the Earth. Perhaps some chairs, nostalgic for the old days, will carry floppy dead humans in their seats.


Of course animals will become smarter.


The future will be obsessed with putting glass domes on everything. Cities, beds, parakeets...everything will have a dome or a space helmet.


A few mavericks will drive cars without domes where people can actually talk to each other, but these people will be justly shunned by their peers.


A few brave souls may actually leave their chairs and walk around their living rooms. When it's necessary to travel, the whole living room will pick itself up and scurry around town.


Humans will become perfect physical specimens. They will be tiny though, in order to conserve energy.


Of course the future will be environmentally responsible. The shocking waste involved in each individual having his own soda straw will be eliminated. Community straws will proliferate.
 .......

Incidentally, the type size on the comments page got smaller all by itself, with no help from me. Anybody know how to fix that?



20 comments:

M@ said...

It's a massive compliment getting encouragement from you Eddie-thank you.

Your Blog is a must see every day-it cheers me up no end!!

In the future Blogs will equate to currency and you will reside over lesser mortals in your blogging tower.

I-Like-it said...

Nice one! I so want that chair!

Andy said...

We are living in the future already. I'm sure everyone's thought of this before, but... in the early 1800s... if those people went forward in time to 2008... they'd be amazed. It's cool to think about.

I really want to be frozen and wake up one thousand hundred years into the future one day. Damn, that would be great. (As long as apes haven't taken over the world, or anything)

Phantom Spitter said...

I know for a fact (if a witchdoctor/car salesman from the Bronx told me correctly) that in the future someone will come up with a cartoon so hideously awful that that WWIII would ensue, which would destroy civilization, thus leaving Earth to the insects, which would build their own society, later crushed by visitors from another planet, who would destroy our home planet and in its place build a shopping center. Your prediction was good, though.

David Germain said...

That thing with the chairs, that's what the people had in WALL-E. Of course, instead of being perfect specimens of people, they were fat, lazy, inactive slobs.

Bitter Animator said...

The comments look kind of the same to me. I think. My memory is so bad, I sort of start fresh every day so I could be wrong.

I love domes and space helmets. And robot butlers. And flying cars.

And here we are, the Space Year 2008, and what do we have? The bloody internet. That's it. The internet.

Where did it all go wrong, Mr.F? Where?!

The Horns and the Hawk said...

so, i don't really buy evolution. on the whole or in part, i'm not certain. but i was thinking: if evolution were actually occurring, of all the animals that should be making the most progress, it should be domesticated animals. of all the animals on the planet, they're the ones that get the most face time with the most advanced specie on the planet. but then i realized that for the past 100ish years, we've been neutering them. so, what if our neutering them is blocking them from passing on the genes that would cause evolved pets?

BA BA BUM!

oppo said...

Ha! I think I'll be the practical one and use my stuff from 2008!

trevor said...

So it's not the meek but the chairs that will inherit the Earth, you say? That's so crazy, but not as crazy as the invisible man in the sky theory.

Fuck it, you're my God now.

Blogspot did the type thing, Eddie. We all have that in our comments now.

- trevor.

pspector said...

I'd help you with the type-size problem but I can't seem to get my dome off.

danielog said...

that´s the future coming...
things are allready starting do shrink, begining with your coments font... but at least you are somehow helping world economy!

Frank Macchia said...

haha...sounds like a bright future eddie

i like andy's comment...so true...we'll never have that bewilderment that "the future is here!"..lol..change is so gradual...they should just throw some of those glass domes around like you had mentioned eddie...a good sudden change to get us all wide eyed and excited.

haha i love that first picture of the android...haha...terrifying...lookslike a giant ventrelaquist dummy

Tanonymous said...

But Eddie, will cartoonists still be around? Or will everything be homogenized and bland?

Aaron said...

I hope there comes a day when dogs are so smart that they realize how much cooler they look in sunglasses.

patrick said...

Speaking of chairs, I made a very short documentary on our unsung companions a couple years ago that you can watch Here

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Patrick: Haw!

Anonymous said...

Yup: the people of the 40's to the 60's imagined that by now, cars would hover, dogs would talk, robots would be our slaves, and we'd be wearinig clothes with huge collars.

Boy, they must've been pissed to find out the most we could come up with is the back scratcher and a Pixar movie depicting us future-ites as fat, lazy, degenerate slobs.

Ain't it a bitch?

-J.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of which, good luck with that surgery, Eddie! I can't wait for you to come back with another thrilling post. This blog cheers me up, and then John K's blog fills me with rage at the current animation system.

-J.

Anonymous said...

And a quick response to Andy about the Planet of the Apes theory: if the apes do become smarter than us, boy they're gonna be pissed as hell! I mean, we're supposedly the most advanced species on the planet, but we somehow let Space Chimps hit the box office?! What the hell!

Amrinder Singh Nagi said...

hi
i discovered your blog recently through john K's blog and i must say i was shocked to see what i had been missin all along.your photo essay's are just so amazing my eyes come out of sockets everytime i see them.i saw all of your entries and im glad u didnt stop blogging when u thought about it way back.

i like your version of future at least it sounds peaceful :P

take care and keep posting
Regards
Amrinder