MY CHILDHOOD

I grew up in a normal area for the time. No crime to speak of, lots of framed pictures of relatives on the end tables.

  All my knowledge about the world came from magazines and TV. Kids weren't supposed to look at adult magazines but they were on the rack above the comics and sometimes I'd sneak a peak.

It's a good thing I did. Only by doing that did I become aware of the true menaces that confront men in this world.

There was danger around every corner. The whole animal world was going berserk.

I was fairly sure I could survive a fight with crabs and lobsters, as long as a good, heavy stick was handy.

Quicksand I wasn't so sure about. Good grief, how do you survive something like that? Sometimes I had the uneasy feeling that school wasn't preparing us for the real world.

Eventually we kids discovered science fiction and that led to the realization that adults were clueless about what the real threats were.

The real threats would obviously come from test tube monsters and space invaders. Our old-fashioned parents were ill equipped to deal with this kind of menace so it was clear that my generation would have to step up to the plate.

I don't mean to imply that we kids were down on science. We loved it and fully expected to drive the first flying saucers in our lifetime. Of course, you want someone to share the thrill of flying with and what better companion for a boy than....

...a Blonde Bombshell! All the magazines were in agreement that women of this kind were hungry for men.

My flying saucer would be equipped with an endless supply of root beer and comic books. With those and a bombshell beside me I felt I was ready for whatever adversity life would dish out.

Gee, writing that was fun. Maybe I'll try to do something about my adolescence soon.