THE AMAZING PARALLEL UNIVERSE SALAD

I told some of this sad story before, but I never talked about what happened after and I may never (I can't remember) have divulged the amazing recipe that lies at the heart of the story. Let me remedy that now.



For those who haven't heard the story before, about this time last year my family and I were invited to dinner by a young Cal Tech Physicist who was researching the parallel universe theory. It turns out that it may be possible to do faster computer calculations in that universe than in our own. You don't have to travel anywhere in a spaceship to do it, the other universe is right beside us. Every atom in our bodies shares matter and energy with that universe. I don't understand it, so don't rely on me for an explanation.



Anyway, the guy was a terrific cook! The main course was terrific but the real highlight was the salad. It was to die for! It was absolutely the very best salad I ever had in my life! Imagine that! A physics guy who could cook!



Unfortunately I was so intimidated at being with someone who knows so much about physics that I could hardly put two words together and I ended up talking nervously about, of all things...Asperger Disorder. I couldn't help it! I was feeling awkward and it was on my mind from something I'd read the previous day. A big mistake!

It turns out that almost all physics students were considered nerds when they were young and had to put up with a lot of grief because of that. My host was anything but a nerd, but he rankled at every mention of it. I should have changed the subject but I was so nervous that I couldn't. I went on and on about Asbergers til my host was screaming inside his skin. Except for the wonderful salad it was a social disaster!

OK, I think I mentioned all that in my previous post. Now here's what happened months later...

My wife explained the problem to her old school friend who was the physicist's mother. They had a good laugh over it and the mother called her son and arranged for another dinner to soothe things over. I was so relieved that I'd finally be able to put it all right again...but...but I was still nervous. I can't help it. For me a physicist is like a rock star. It was like eating dinner with Mick Jagger. This man knows what makes the universe work. If that's not superstardom, then what is? Anyway, I was nervous all over again, and all day long I kept repeating to myself, "Don't mention Aspergers! Don't mention Aspergers!" I think you can imagine what happened.

It was so much on my mind that the first thing I blurted out at the restaurant was "Aspergers." You could see the guy wince. He must have thought I was crazy! It was a terrible night. Now I know how John Cleese felt in "Fawlty Towers" when he couldn't stop talking to his German guests about the war.

Anyway, at the cost of unbearable social awkwardness and ill manners directed at my betters, I managed to extract the recipe for this amazing salad. Here it is:

Preperation: Remove extra virgin olive oil from the refridgerator (it should also be refridgerated) 25 minutes before making the salad and let it sit on the counter.

Have all the ingrediants on hand so you can eat as soon as possible after the dressing is made.

1) Rub garlic into inside of salad bowl then toss the bits away.

2) Add salad leaves (baby greens sold in a bag) and toss with a little olive oil till the leaves are greasy.

3) Into blender:

Extra virgin olive oil

Walnuts

1/2 Blood orange

Red wine vinegar

Veggie salt

Pepper

Oregeno

Sugar

4) Pour blended dressing over leaves.

5) drizzle a little balsamic vinegar on while tossing.

6) Add cut beets from a can and fetta cheese.

Eat immediately before the dressing seperates.