THEORY CORNER FOR TEENS

So you're twelve years old now! You're almost a teenager! Wow, I'm envious, or at least partly envious. Um...there are some troublesome parts and I thought I'd discuss them here by way of giving you a heads up. 

Well, let's see....okay, for starters... any day now you could wake up with strange bumps where you never had them before. 

I don't mean the obvious bumps. I mean.....ZITS!

Well, better zits than acne. Wait til you see what a job acne can do on you. I'm not aware that there's a cure.

At least you'll be thin. That's something.

It won't last long, though.

Then there's braces, which will make you look like a little kid again just when you thought you'd left all that behind.

Maybe you'll be lucky and just get overbite and not buck teeth teeth. On a girl overbite is  kinda cute, don't you think?

And if you're a guy, expect that 90% of your waking hours will be spent on thinking about girls. That time could be used to find a cure for cancer or to figure out how to translate the secret tablets of the Pharohs, but...naaaaaaw...it'll be for girls.  

You'll get a unibrow. I guess that's easy to take care of.

Your taste in clothes will plummet. You'll wear things you wouldn't have been caught dead in a few years ago. 

If you're a girl you'll put on make-up with a trowel.

 You and all your friends will fall in love with the local chick magnet (above). The trouble is, there's not enough chick magnets to go around.

You'll be stuck with the pathetic alternative of pasting up pictures of your favorite movie star all around your room.

Boys know girls do that so they react accordingly.

You'll develop an obsession for...no,wait, I said that already.

Wait til you see what teen angst is like. Only your closest friends will be able to stand you.

You'll develop a very harsh view of your parents.

And did I mention...oh, I did? Okay.


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Yikes! I forgot that Wednesday is Veteran's Day! Thanks to all the brave soldiers of the past who made it possible for me have a blog where I can be myself and say what I like.

MORE ABOUT TEEN ANGST

A couple of posts back I posted about my daughter's teenage angst. I haven't been able to get that out of my mind because it reminded me of a book of illustrations I found in the library a few years ago by Greg Hildebrandt, the well-known Tolkien illustrator. 

He said he painted a portrait of each of kids every three years of their childhood. I was shocked to see the pictures of his son Gregory. That's Gregory above at age...I'm guessing...nine or ten. He looks like an all American kid of his time, a cross between Tom Sawyer and the young Ray Bradbury.

A few years later, maybe at age 13 or 14 (I'm not sure) he painted his son again and look (above) how the picture turned out! Wow, what a difference! The teen Gregory looks full of self doubt and unfocused anger. Not only that but his face has morphed into something puffy and awkward...just like mine did at his age. Yikes! Just at the time of life when you're most concerned about your looks, nature deals you a bad hand.

Fortunately that look doesn't last long. Here he is as an adult and he looks fine again, even handsome. I'm sure he has no trouble getting women. The girls in the photo are his sisters.

Teenage years are full of depression and trauma and teens aren't generally fun to be around unless you're a teen yourself. In spite of that I sometimes think that if I were a full time teacher I'd still rather teach teens than anyone else. Maybe that's because teens are idealistic and philosophical and so am I, and I've discovered a couple of odd facts about teens that I've never seen in books.

The first fact is that teens don't snub all adults, just their parents. They're actually somewhat deferential to other adults they don't have a reason to dislike.

The second fact is that that teens are often listening in class when you don't think they're listening. They can be passing notes, watching videos on their laptops or even sleeping but if what you say interests them, they'll remember it...or at least be interested in hearing it again.

Okay, I'm sure the young Charles Manson was more difficult to handle than this, but this has been my experience with normal types.