I'm reading a few books at once as I always do. I'm still reading "Animated Man" and I just finished Mc Bride's famous (some would say infamous) book on Frank Capra. Here's one of the books I have on my bed stand: "The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition." Have you read any of these Worst Case books? Are they serious?
Here's (above) my favorite chapter: "How to Escape From an Angry Gorilla." The situation is that a gorilla has grabbed your arm. Maybe he's doing it to be playful, maybe not. There's no way to tell. You have no choice but to assume he's hostile. The book wisely advises the reader to be silent and act submissive. So far so good.Then the book takes a giant step. If submission doesn't work try treating the grab as a sexual (my word) advance by the gorilla. It almost certainly wasn't sexual but the idea is to plant the thought in the gorilla's head. It's as if you're saying to the gorilla, "Hey, big boy! I like you too. No need to get rough! Let's you and I go steppin'."
You groom his arm. Maybe the gorilla is starting to get hot and bothered. Hopefully this causes the ape to walk away in confusion. Hopefully. But what if he doesn't? What if he takes it seriously and...Ugh! It's too horrible to think about!
I hasten to add that the book doesn't mention sex. That's my interpretation...and maybe it would be the gorilla's too.
Here's (above) another chapter: "How to Survive if You're Buried Alive." Aaargh! How gruesome! The book advises that you only have an hour or two at most before the air runs out. What you should do is wrap your shirt around your head like a bag with a big knot on your forehead to provide an air pocket for your face. You then kick the wooden coffin lid with your feet. The weight of the dirt above will have weakened the lid and if you're lucky you might succeed in breaking it. Your main problem will be channeling the dirt as it falls into the container and you dig your way upward.
Does that seem realistic to you?
