ADVICE FROM UNCLE EDDIE'S MOM

This piece might just as well have been titled, "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DINNER PARTIES?" or "THE CURSE OF THE FINICKY EATERS." My mom was right, finicky eaters have ruined the world, and the first step in that ruination has been the abolition of dinner parties.

Remember dinner parties? A group of friends would get together for a home-cooked dinner, something the host took hours to prepare. The meal might be something modest like a really well-done spaghetti from fresh ingredients or it might be something fancy requiring reduced stock and sauces. The only hard-and-fast requirement was that the food be cooked lovingly with attention to detail. Wine or good beer of course and, in a previous time, good cigars. And did I mention good conversation? What could be simpler or more delightfull? So why did these communal dinners dissapear?

I blame finnicky eaters. You can't find two people who eat the same dish anymore. This man's a vegetarian, that man's a carnivore. This woman drinks beer, that one likes wine. This person loves pasta, that person hates it. Even vegetarians can't agree. The whole thing has gotten out of hand! The little buggers who used to spurn their food as children are now grown up and are wreaking havok in the world. When dinner time rolls around it's not uncommon to see a group of friends split up, each to go to a seperate meal, either that or they all get in a car and spend an hour fighting traffic to find a restaurant on the other side of town that they all can at least tolerate. This is madness!

My mother absolved the finicky eaters but held their parents in scorn. A mother is supposed to wage a daily battle with her kid to get the kid to eat common foods. It's no fun for the mom to do this but she makes the sacrifice so that her kid will have some kind of social life as an adult and not be a hermit. Mother Eddie did this for me and as a consequence I am the sterling example of food consumer that you see before you. I can eat all the common foods...well, sort of. Of course the daily battles aged my mom way before her time. Thanks Mother Eddie for paying the price and a pox upon finnicky eaters!

DEAN CORNWELL, ILLUSTRATOR

I'm in a hurry so I'll put up these illustrations by Dean Cornwell without comment. I have a first edition of the hard-to-find classic Cornwell book but it's been drastically devalued by the reprint that came out a few years ago. Amazingly the reprint is just as well done as the earlier book and you don't have to pay collector's prices to own it.

MY DINNER WITH ANDRE (ACTUALLY JOHN & KALI)

I'll explain the pictures later. I thought I'd start by describing a real "My Dinner With Andre" meal that I just had at the local barbeque restaurant. Nothing special, just an average lunch. In attendance: myself, Kali and John Kricfalusi.

John and Kali arrive and sit in the booth opposite me. Kali's feet graze mine and I look under the table to see if my feet are in the way. John: "I don't believe it! You just looked up Kali's dress!" Me: "No, I didn't! I was just..." Kali: (laughs uproariously). "Yes you did! I saw it! Good old Eddie, always sneaking a peak!" Me: "But... but..." John: "I'll bet you look into blouses too (he acts it out in the air)!" Me: "Wait a minute, that would be a great cartoon character! It's something Reggie would do!" John: "Reggie? It's something Uncle Peekaboo would do!" Uncle Peekaboo!? At this point the waitress takes our order.

Kali asks what book I have with me and I say it's "Romancing the Opiates" which claims that heroin is not highly addictive and withdrawal from it is not medically serious. Kali reacts with skepticism, John is still mulling over Uncle Peekaboo. Somehow the conversation drifts to Clampett, which it frequently does, and I mention that Clampett got a chance to direct because Leon was keen to compete with other studios and was therefore looking for "fighting generals" rather than the more sedate types who rise to the top in peace time. Modern American studios are more laid back, more business-as-usual, even though we face a serious threat from anime and 3D. John sends his meat back because it's tough and Kali starts drawing caricatures of me (below).

I bring up something Milt Grey said earlier, that a young Scribner would have a hard time learning his trade today. Few employers want to pay for funny animation so a young Scribner would have to have to do it at home like David Gemmill does and post his stuff on YouTube. This immediately jolts John out of his Peekaboo reverie. "That's true," shouts John, "you should do a blog about that!!! The best way to learn funny animation is to work your way up in a studio loaded with other funny geniuses! In fact the very best way would be to start in a rubberhose studio like Clampett did! You can make your mistakes there but the medium is forgiving and rewards gutsy ideas!" That's a terrific insight. If only some studios were still doing funny, fully-animated rubberhose what a terrific training ground it would be! I say that John ought to write it up on his own blog where he can really expand on it. John says no I should do it on mine. Yours, mine,yours,mine, etc.

While we're quibbling Kali is drawing another caricature of me on the doggy bag. This reminds John all over again of Uncle Peekaboo, which he proceeds to draw on the other side of the doggy bag (above, topmost). In case you have trouble figuring it out, that's an under-the-table shot of me looking at Kali's legs from the P.O.V. of those legs.

So that's my dinner (lunch) with Andre (John & Kali). I left out some stuff but that captures it OK I think. Later that hight we all met at Mike's where he had a plush doll that looked like me and Kali photographed it having sex with other plush dolls...but that's another story.

LEYENDECKER'S FIRST PASS

Here's some Leyendecker color sketches together with the finished paintings. Nifty, huh? Click to enlarge.

A COFFEE TABLE BOOK ABOUT FONTS

"House Industries" is one of the oddest art books I've ever seen. House is a lettering company. They develop fonts and custom lettering styles for business. The book is all about the signs and fonts they worked on except that few (maybe none) of the fonts are printed in their entirety. it's a whole book of font fragments and a kazillion pictures of the guys who worked on them. Leafing through it is like looking at an art book with the bottom third of every picture missing and a trillion pictures of the artist.

There's an occassional interesting story. It seems like House tried to turn the old Stardust Hotel sign (above, topmost) into a font. They did a good job of figuring out what the rest of the alphabet would look like (below) but when they combined the new letters they discovered that the font only worked when it spelled out "Gleaming the Cube" and "Totally Rad." Evidently most good signs don't come from fonts. You can reference a font but a good sign has to be customized.

I'm in a hurry so I'll put up a couple of interesting page fragments (below). I don't know if they're all by House.

A MESSAGE TO THEORY CORNER MEN

Hello, men! Uncle Eddie here! It's come to my attention that some Theory Corner men (Jorge)don't like my posts about architecture. They (Jorge) think the subject is boring. Imagine that! A manly pursuit like architecture is boring to these people (Jorge)!!! Yes, it's hard to believe that some people (Jorge) who visit this site can be that depraved and uncultured.

I've thought about it and have decided that disciplinary action is called for. I hate to punish everybody for the misdeeds of a few (Jorge) but what choice do I have? A good captain someimes has to show his crew the cat-o-nine tails. Bad apples (Jorge), you brought this on yourselves!!!!

See this (above)? Kinda nice, huh? You'd like more, wouldn't ya?...Of course you would.

But THIS (above) is what you get!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And THIS (above)!!!!!!!!!

AND THIS (above) TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND...and...and even..even this (above)!!!!!!!!!!! (puff!)!!!!!!! (pant!)!!!!!!!!! Whadaya think 'a that!? (Puff!) (Pant!) (Puff!)

Now see what you've done? You bad apples have unleashed Mr. Bad! I take no resposibility for it!

ABOUT HUNDERTWASSER

Andrew asked me what I thought about Hundertwasser, the modern German painter-turned-architect. Well, I like some of his pictures . The one above is interesting.

I also like his small-scale architecture. The public bathroom above is brilliant. The idea of using a tree to symbolize urination is wonderfull. No doubt the public urinal is the focal point of the entire street. I also like the trim which looks like the kind of beautiful bead bracelets that little kids make out of painted macaroni.

I also like this corner restaurant (above). Hundertwasser's buildings make a great contrast to other styles. That's what he's best at. In my opinion a whole neighborhood in his style would be too much.

Here's a nifty wedding cake of a building (above).

I'm not a fan of his larger works, like the one above. Take away the colorfull, melted tile facade and you're left with fairly banal buildings. Architecture is mainly about interesting three-dimensional shapes and spaces, not quirky facades. Architects should revel in the idea of space and travel all over the world collecting interesting experiences of it. They shouldn't be seduced into a too literal transcription of ideas that only look good in two-dimensional drawings.

His large-scale, Nabi-neo-art-nouveau apartment exteriors (above) are terrible. I wish he'd return to small-scale work.