RANDOM THOUGHTS ON FASHION

Boy, women (above) sure like fashion! 

What's in now are thick eyebrows and unibrows. You see them everywhere. Some people attribute that to the influence of Joan Crawford in the forties. Maybe, but my guess is that it started big time with the rediscovery of the feminist communist painter, Frida Kahlo (above). Kahlo did a zillion portraits of herself which not only emphasized bushy eyebrows but also her girl mustache and jaw line hair.

That's Kahlo in real life (above), proudly displaying her mustache.

The Kahlo mustache failed to catch on but, as I said, thick eyebrows are everywhere.

Imagine how that makes girls like this one (above) feel. Lots of girls permanently removed their entire eyebrows thinking that thin, painted on brows were the height of chic, and would be with us til the end of time. Aaaargh! Fashion can be cruel. 

On another subject, I observe that a lot of women still like to knit (above).

And they still knit for their boyfriends (above), too.

On yet another subject, here's an outfit (above) that was around when I was a kid: bottle cap hat, loose top, ultra-tight calf-length skirt, and long, long cigarette holder. It was the "Pepsi Generation" look.

This (above) was around at the same time: Scoop-back dresses with face fish net festooned with little black balls or cloth bugs. John K is obsessed with these bug nets.

The latest fashion is sneakers with toes. They make everybody's feet look like Goofy's. This (above) is the most popular brand: "Vibram Five Fingers." It started as something for barefoot runners but now they're regarded as chic, and even couch potatoes have them. They require socks with toes.

Interesting, eh?

KIDS WHO STARE AT YOU

While I'm on the subject of little girls (see the previous post), don't you hate kids who stare at you in restaurants and trains? The last time that happened to me I got the idea of taking out a piece of paper and quick sketching a little wordless story for the kid, where I show him every drawing as I draw it. The story would be me beating the kid up for staring.

I didn't do it, but I made a note to try it one of these days. Yeeesh! Suppose the kid grabs the drawing and shows it to his dad?

A VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT SUGGESTION

What do you give a wife or girlfriend for Valentine's Day? Flowers? A restaurant meal? Sure, why not...but something else is needed, don't you think? Something cool like....a tea party! Yes, a tea party, a real little girl's tea party with a real little girl (or girls) hosting the Valentine couple. Imagine the charm of sitting at the little table with your significant other, surrounded by dolls, and chatting with a little girl...maybe the child of a relative or friend...while she pours tea and serves bisquits. Your present to your girl would the gift of witnessing childhood charm.

I was surprised to find that the thought of a tea party held no appeal for the adults I talked to. Maybe that's because the Disney Princess people took over the idea. These days a lot of formal kid birthday parties are built around this Disney theme. I guess it's a chance for girls to wear the princess costumes they bought at Halloween. There's nothing wrong with that, but I prefer something on a smaller scale....



...something like this (above). These kids know how to celebrate.



How old should the kid host be?  Maybe as young as this girl (above). Boy, she really has the tea party spirit. I like the small scale of the furniture and the tiny plastic tea sets. The chair should be so low that an adult sitting in it has his knees almost up around his chin.

Of course a tea party requires ritual. Maybe a little kid has to have witnessed an adult tea party in order understand the ceremony.

Kids have a limited attention span, and the tea party probably won't last long. Maybe you can stretch it out by baking scones with the kid, following her directions.  Scones are fast and easy to make.




Maybe the thing to do is to build up expectation for the eventual arrival of...The Queen. Maybe the Queen is an adult who comes in amid much fanfare and agrees to take tea with everyone for a while. Here's (above) the way the Rennaisance Faire handles the Queen's entrance.

THE FUNHOUSE (PART ONE) (WORDLESS)

  

TO BE CONTINUED........

AN ABUSIVE CORNER MAN

The pictures here are all from a different era. I couldn't find anything on the net to illustrate the particular modern fight I have in mind. Oh well, they're kind of interesting for their own sake.

Anyway, It's tough being a corner man in mixed martial arts. How do you stand out on TV and make a reputation? It's a job that everybody takes for granted...until now. I saw a fight on John's HD Net on Friday night where the corner man stole the show.

The man cornered for an African American guy...I wish I could remember the name. he was a terrific fighter, but had the handicap of being a gentle intellectual who'd rather be with his books. You could tell he deeply regretted the necessity of hurting other fighters.  He was like Ferdinand The Bull, if you know that story. The other guys on the bill all strutted in to the tune of gangster rap. This guy entered to classical music. I didn't recognize it, but it was something pastoral that suggested sniffing daisies in a meadow.

At the entrance to the ring his corner man, who was huge, turned around and began to insult the fighter. Right there on TV they got into a nose-to-nose shouting match. I'm not sure, but the corner man might even have slapped the fighter. The fighter got madder and madder, til he pushed the corner man aside and stomped into the ring, ready to tear apart anybody who got in his way. It looked to me like the corner man deliberately provoked him.

Like I said, the formerly gentle fighter was skilled, but his opponent was even better. At the round breaks the battered gentle guy would slink back to the corner where the derisive corner man would reinvigorate him by insulting him some more and throwing Gatorade in his face.

Regretfully the gentle man lost. I thought the whole drama was over, but there was one more act waiting to play out. His cocky opponent, the winner, came over to our guy's corner, put his arm around the corner man, and proceeded to chat the corner man up. I couldn't believe it! It looked like he was offering the corner man a job working for him. Our guy sat on the stool watching all this and was completely dumbfounded.

I know what you're thinking...that this was all staged to get a laugh. Maybe, but I don't think so. It looked like a real fight.

I ALMOST BECAME A SHOE SALESMAN!

When I was a kid shoe salesman was a high status job.

 The shoe salesmen were all well spoken and impeccably dressed. TV ads always portrayed them as consummate professionals. In some stores they even operated X ray machines called fluoroscopes which were specially designed for feet. I loved getting new shoes because that meant I got to look into the machine's viewer and watch my own skeletal feet.

Geez, that was dangerous radiation. I hope I don't wake up some morning with an extra head on my shoulders.

Parents had to be careful with money in those days, so they always got over-sized shoes that their kids could grow into. I guess that made the salesman's job easier.

Like a lot of kids in my time, I considered selling shoes as a possible career. Ads in magazines gave me the impression that only beautiful women bought shoes, and I was prepared to do my best for them.

I was aware of the hazard presented by dealing with beautiful legs all day. Even as a little kid I fully expected a lot of customers to throw themselves at me. I anticipated that I'd have to deflect their advances, and I was determined to do it with humor and savoir-faire. After all, a shoe salesman is a professional and must maintain a professional detachment.

I can't remember what changed my mind about selling shoes. Was it Bundy's horror stories about the job in "Married With Children?" No, that came much later. I guess I just got interested in other things, like being a pilot or a general....or a cartoonist.

 Occasionally I come across a veteran shoe salesman from the old days. These guys still dress like Cary Grant and still treat their customers as if they were lordly aristocrats. They still handle quality leather shoes as if they were marvels of technology and craftsmanship. I'm always tempted to ask them what it was like in the good old days. Ah, the stories they could tell!

HOW TO TAKE PICTURES OF FRIENDS

Groooan! It looks like I won't be able to avoid using a bad picture of myself (above) to illustrate this. Okay, here goes: I look a hundred years old in this picture! I look at this photo and imagine that there must be an IV stand and oxygen tanks just out of frame. How I wish the person who'd taken this had told me that when he took it. If I'd known, I could have struck a different pose, one that was more flattering.

People don't tell you that you look bad in a picture because they figure that, whatever its defects, it captures the real you. That's because they value fidelity to reality above all.  Not me. I can see the real me any day by looking in the mirror. I don't need pictures for that. What I want is a snapshot that makes me look good, that creates a reality where I fit in. That's what I'm thinking when I take pictures of myself (below).

I've been thinking about this lately and it occurs to me that a lot of people probably feel the way I do. At least some of the time they want snapshots that reflect their inner life or the way they react to the world around them.

The conclusion that I've come to is that I'll have to modify the way I photograph other people. I'll try never to take snapshots of friends that makes them look less than the way they'd like to look (well, within reason...). If I do take some questionable pictures I'll delete them then and there, on the spot. The subject will never have to worry that an unflattering photo that I've taken is circulating out there, waiting to bite them.

The way I look at it now, when I take your picture I'm acting as your agent. I'm trying to sell you to the world. I want you to look good, or as good as a snapshot can. If you have a best side, or a most flattering angle, let me know. If you have a weak point let me know that too, so I can avoid it. If I take a picture of you at work I'll try to make you look efficient, or like somebody it would be fun to work with. If I get you in a social situation, I'll try to get one that shows you solidly in the mood. I only ask that you allow me to make several pictures, because the first one isn't always the best.

P.S.: The picture I criticized at the top isn't really all that bad, and I'm grateful to the photographer for taking it. I had to exaggerate a bit to make my point.  That's Mike on the right in that picture. He always takes a good picture, though he denies it.


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BTW: I just learned that my old animation pals Byron and Betty Vaughns are in desperate need. Very serious medical problems together with a house that burned down and no immediate prospect of work, have left them in a bind reminiscent of something from The Book of Job. If you can help it would be much appreciated. You can learn more about the situation at their site:  http://bvneedshelp.blogspot.com/