Tuesday, January 09, 2007

ADVICE FROM UNCLE EDDIE'S MOM

This piece might just as well have been titled, "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DINNER PARTIES?" or "THE CURSE OF THE FINICKY EATERS." My mom was right, finicky eaters have ruined the world, and the first step in that ruination has been the abolition of dinner parties.

Remember dinner parties? A group of friends would get together for a home-cooked dinner, something the host took hours to prepare. The meal might be something modest like a really well-done spaghetti from fresh ingredients or it might be something fancy requiring reduced stock and sauces. The only hard-and-fast requirement was that the food be cooked lovingly with attention to detail. Wine or good beer of course and, in a previous time, good cigars. And did I mention good conversation? What could be simpler or more delightfull? So why did these communal dinners dissapear?

I blame finnicky eaters. You can't find two people who eat the same dish anymore. This man's a vegetarian, that man's a carnivore. This woman drinks beer, that one likes wine. This person loves pasta, that person hates it. Even vegetarians can't agree. The whole thing has gotten out of hand! The little buggers who used to spurn their food as children are now grown up and are wreaking havok in the world. When dinner time rolls around it's not uncommon to see a group of friends split up, each to go to a seperate meal, either that or they all get in a car and spend an hour fighting traffic to find a restaurant on the other side of town that they all can at least tolerate. This is madness!

My mother absolved the finicky eaters but held their parents in scorn. A mother is supposed to wage a daily battle with her kid to get the kid to eat common foods. It's no fun for the mom to do this but she makes the sacrifice so that her kid will have some kind of social life as an adult and not be a hermit. Mother Eddie did this for me and as a consequence I am the sterling example of food consumer that you see before you. I can eat all the common foods...well, sort of. Of course the daily battles aged my mom way before her time. Thanks Mother Eddie for paying the price and a pox upon finnicky eaters!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Man, I LOVE this hyar blog!!

I, too, am a sterling example of a non-finicky diner (back in the day they refered to us as "fat slobs"...phillistines.)

Eat and Be Merry was our mantra back then...but relatively few people these days want to be merry....or Mary.

Ah, but for a T-bone steake, well done, smothered in onions and peppers, with a baked potato on the side...

Uncle Phil said...

I say it's time for you to throw a dinner party Uncle Eddie. And don't forget to send me an invite.

Anonymous said...

What brought this on?

Katie said...

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm a super finicky eater...I think it might be because I always fed myself as a kid. My mom would wait for my dad to come home to eat dinner with him, but since it was usually past my bedtime, I'd make my own easy to make kid-friendly meals (a cheese sandwich or something equally boring) and eat alone. However, I have been making an effort lately to expand my menu of acceptable foods, although the going's been slow. Forgive me, Uncle Eddie!

Krishva said...

I was a finicky eater as a kid, but I've grown up to accept a much wider variety of foods (some of which my own mother won't eat--she's the most finicky lady on earth!).

As far as vegetarians go, the problem is that vegetarians are usually NOT vegetarians because they loved vegetables as a kid and never ate anything else. Vegetarianism/veganism is almost always a decision based on moral ideas rather than dietary preferences. I don't see why it's that hard to accomodate them though. Plan a dish that can be served with or without meat, and put the meat on the side. Problem solved!

Dave_the_Turnip said...

Ha! I know exactly where you're coming from here. My mum raised me on the normal stuff. I love vegetables and fruits, meat, fish, pasta and even good ol fashioned peanut butter and jeally sandwiches!

I've expanded my eating repertoire as i got older and some exotic foods are now my favourite (like Octopus and Fried Eel), but i think they are my favourites cause they are exotic and i don't have them that often.

My sister is the opposite though. Super finicky eater. Won't try anything new either. Eesh.

And food conversation isn't totally lost, it's just changed. I find the food court is the best place for it now. All your friends can grab what food they want, sit down and just chat. The only annoying thing is everybody else but i guess you got to take the bad with the good.

Shawn Dickinson said...

My friends and I love all foods...and lots of it! So we still have dinner parties all the time. Just put me in room full of funny people, good hot food, and tasty beverages and I'm in heaven! I feel sorry for people who miss out on such fun.

Mitchel Kennedy said...

No, no Eddie! There's a solution to this!

We fine folk of the Canadian East Coast have descended from those Scottish and Irish who got it right the first time!

It's called a Ceilidh! (or, a Potluck)

Everyone who comes brings a dish, which gives everyone a variety to choose from! PLUS, if you're a vegetarian or whatever, then you know you'll at least be able to eat your own dish! People also bring their own alcohol (but I'm sure in the olden days, most folks would just drink from the homebrew).

Then the afternoon and night are filled with good food, good drinks, and even good music! This party often radiates from the kitchen, which is the source of food, drinks, music, and laughs. Sometimes a nice little fire in the back yard will draw folks away from the kitchen until they want to scrounge what's left of the food to take home.

You see, Eddie, the dinner party isn't completely lost!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Kris: An awfull lot of conventional vegetable and grain dishes contain animal products. Lentil soup is usually made with chicken broth, cake is made with eggs, bacon or bacon grease is a universal flavorer of other foods and stock for sauces usually requires meat products. And what about butter? A host who wants to avoid cooking with this stuff will have to learn a whole new way of cooking.

Katie: You have talent and are therefore allowed to have quirks.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Mitch: Interesting!

Aggie said...

Dinner parties are quite normal with my family. Every few months, my mother would spend 5+ hours on a lovely meal for her (and her husband's) friends. Wine was a must, but I think she'd try to fix the meal into something that wasn't seafood since she loved red wine. Maybe it's because we're European, and therefore stick to certain traditions? But they're lots of fun, nevertheless.

Sean Worsham said...

I usually eat out. This speaks volumes about my eating habits. I usually love eating Korean, American or Chinese and Italian. Kim-Chee is my favorite vegetable and I love Kalbi ribs.

Ryan Khatam said...

hahahahaaah, that picture of the mom & kid is hilarious

Kali Fontecchio said...

I'm finicky in private- in social situations I try to pretend to like more foods than I would ever eat while alone. I hate upsetting people, and nothing upsets people more than saying, "I don't like that, eww." Uncle Eddie, am I living a lie?

I'm glad my mother raise me without the aid of sugar cereal, soda, etc.- I think that's it is incredibly hard to not give a whiny child something they want. And round comes the pay-off- I'm not an obese American adult!

ps- I only discovered bacon and hotdogs in the last year; I'm a regular now.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Kali: If you can't learn to like all the common foods then the next best thing is to pretend to like them. I do that sometimes.

Anonymous said...

I think it is okay to be finicky, as long as you do not let it bother the omnivores around you, and as long as you don't have some grandmotherly matron insisting you "eat....eat already".

I have been vegetarian at times, but mostly, am an omnivore for convenience sake, plus the fact that there are a lot more people that make decent dishes with the entire pantry available to them. Its a shame there are not more 'decent' vegetarian places, while there are quite a few passable "barbeque" places.

But Eddie is right... food Choice should not be the social schism it has become.

Travis H. said...

when I was a kid my Mom would get me to eat bologna by saying that if I did I could someday fly like Mary Poppins. I would painfully eat it then she would spin me around in the air. Today I won't touch that disgusting excuse for edible food. I'm not much of a finniky eater, mostly because my wife is an amazing cook.

Anonymous said...

I hated eggs and meat until I noticed that they were the best, BEST part of dishes! Why did I spend all those years being socially awkward and missing out?