Sunday, July 27, 2008


I know I said I wouldn't post anything til Monday but it occurred to me that since everybody's in San Diego at the Con I can do something completely stupid and self-indulgent and no one will ever know. here's a quick post about my daughter's bucket of filth. It's something so personal that it would interest only me but, hey... I'm the only one reading this!

Today I discovered a cardboard box in the garage that appeared to be full of knick-knacks that my kid owned when she was seven. I blew off the dust and there it was, a real time capsule from my daughter's youth. I waited for her to come home and we opened it together. There in the middle of the box, surrounded by old pens, sock puppets and diaries, was a real seven year-old's bucket of filth (John K's term) contained in an instant coffee jar.

With infinite caution my daughter opened the jar and smelled the brown liquid inside. No, no...I know what you're thinking, and it wasn't that. No, it was something weirder; you could tell what it was from the smell: ketchup, soy sauce, dirt, turpentine, chili powder, hot sauce, powdered toothpaste and English Leather cologne. SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ENGLISH LEATHER!!!!!! I got that as a present and never got to try it out. It mysteriously disappeared!

I asked my kid what the concoction was for and she replied matter-of-factly that it was meant to resurrect witches. As witches are want to do, before they step into the fiery lava that will end their reign of evil, they turn to the nearest kid and describe the chemical that has the power to resurrect them. It's a heavy thing to be trusted with a formula like that, and she went through much soul-searching about the ethics of bringing witches back to life, but the lure of science proved irresistible.

Also in the box was an old tee shirt, the one she was always putting on the dogs. If the dogs were nice guys and accepted the cumbersome tee shirt they were rewarded with having their back legs tied together with scarves.

There were also diaries full of misspelled complaints about friends who snubbed her and long multiplication problems like a hundred trillion times eleven. It also looked like she was at work on a personal written language that looked like what you see on Celtic rune stones.

OK, enough personal stuff! On Monday we'll return to solving the world's problems.


lastangelman said...

Makes me wonder if anyone has ever dug up my "buried" treasure under the porch at my old family home in New Jersey from when I was nine or so. I snuck out in middle of night with a flashlight, dug a hole that seemed awfully deep, placed a lunchbox full of notes and drawings, marbles, toy soldiers, a Matchbox car, a Hot Wheels, a Duncan yo-yo, a penknife, a dead frog, a dead turtle, a dead goldfish (I got the idea of using the thermos as a casket when our family visited one of those above ground mausoleums), an Archie record from the back of Post cereal box (I think it was Sugar Crisps), a Wacky Racer cereal prize toy, and an Oscar Mayer whistle, down in that hole, and carefully filled it up, snuck back to bed. Gosh, if that stuff is still there, I'd be afraid to open the thermos ... y-y-y-y-yeeerrrrg-g-g-g-g!

The Horns and the Hawk said...

so, i'm not at the 'con. never been, but every year i say how i want to go. and i do. every year. but every year, something comes up. first, i had to move out of my parent's home (important to cut the cord, you know!), then, i went to ireland for a few weeks and had to save up. then it was a condo that i bought, and then i got married.

so, i read your blog. i really liked it. i love reading about the pure fluid creativity of kids, and how bizarre things (like bringing a witch back to life, something you think a little girl would be loath to do) is so matter of fact. it's interesting. i'm four months into marriage, and logically, reasonably, and decidedly, i don't want kids for another 5 or more years, but when i read things like this, or doug tennapel's blogs, or see my friends and family with their young ones, it kind of seems like maybe i should.

eddy, you are a cool guy.

Anonymous said...

That stuff about resurrecting witches would make for a great cartoon, Eddie!

Ian Merch! said...

That witch story reminds me of when I was playing house with my brother and cousins. My cousins would be the mother and the nurse, my brother would be the father. I would refuse to play unless I got to be a bear, which I still believe every well rounded household needs.

Trevor Thompson said...

That's adorable! Your daughter thinks English Leather's part of the recipe! Ha ha ha ha!

It isn't. She's thinking of 'Barber's Hanky'.

- trevor.

Anonymous said...

I was in S.D. at the Con and came back early. It was crowded as usual but the most fun happened on the train ride home: two "fare evaders" got kicked off by Amtrak conductors, and then the guy running the cafe car sang several songs. Over the p.a. system. Is this a great country, or what?

wascallywabbit said...

wow, amazing!!
Would you mind critiquing my drawings? Id like to become a professional animator but I dont know where to begin

Aaronphilby said...

I was hopin to meet you in person at the con, but you didn't have a stand and weren't signing autographs. Or were you? Or did you? So then I found the thing where Ray Bradbury was speaking, and I thought, surely he's there. Didn't see you though. Did you watch the Ray Bradbury thing, sir? Was I correct in my assumption?

Anonymous said...

Not unintersting in the least, Eddie. You make any subject interesting (except those quantum physics posts! Groan!)

Thinking closely, though, this blog has made me become interested in:

Romance Novels
Shakespeare style dialogue
Film Editing
City Design
Interior Design
Classical civilization
Ayn Rand & Objectivism
Renaissance style art

So maybe it's only a matter of time before I crack open a book by Carl Sagan.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Horns: No hurry, but you'll like it when the time comes!

Aaron: I wasn't able to go. I was going to stop posting for a few days because I thought everybody else was at the con and wouldn't have time for reading.

Jode: Wow! It's great to think that I've had some influence. Thanks for letting me know!

Anonymous said...


hahaha, I accidently left a question mark at the end of that last sentence. I was about to correct it, but left it because it's a funny idea to phrase that statement as a question.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the witch is ticked that she never got resurrected. Maybe there's still time though?

I think we all go through that stage where we do odd things. I had a period of two years when I was around 12 where I wondered what happened to your body when you died. So, every time a pet died I would either bury it and then dig it up several months later or put it in a zip log baggie and hang it in the garage on the wall.

My mother about lost it when she found my pet mouse in such a condition after moving one of the boards I used to hide the stuff behind.

CartoonSteve said...

Decades ago, I unwisely stashed a can of "Billy Beer" in a big tupperware full of old cartoon letters and artifacts. Sure enough, the can leaked and spread funky toxic black mold throughout.

I'll have to wear a gas mask and open it one day. Eddie, did you save many of your early cartoon sketchbooks and doodles? Would you post some of it for us?