Monday, November 14, 2016

I'M MOVING TO A SMALL TOWN


Haw! A reader...probably someone who speaks English as a second language... told me he couldn't understand why I would want to move to a small town. What's so great about sleeping in tiny buildings? "Huh? Tiny buildings???" I had no idea what he was talking about. 

It took a whole minute before I realized that he took the term "small town" literally...as in "miniature." He must have thought I was going to take up residence in a doll's house.

Well, I set him straight and he was much relieved.


I'll have to watch out for misunderstandings like that when I move out of state. For example, where I'm going the local desert of choice is molasses pie.


It sounds gross, but people who live there love the stuff, and they don't like it when outsiders make fun of it. A relative there warned me not to make jokes about it, but I don't know if I can help myself. (Groan!) I hate to think of the consequences if I do.


"Yeah, molasses pie. What's wrong with that?"


"I heard about him. He's the guy from El-Lay! He's too good for what we eat."


"What's the matter? You don't like pie?"


"Uh, well, yes...I, um, I do like pie. I just...well, er..."







"I do believe I'll step outside for a moment."


OUTSIDE: small towns often don't have leash laws.  

'"What the heck? Hey, beat it Pee Wee!"









(Sigh!)

5 comments:

Rich LaPierre said...

I really enjoy your photo stories! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Eddie - I wonder if that diner is in Undadilla, NY which is near Utica which is Near Syracuse. I wonder, I wonder. Don't think you'd get molasses pie there but I'm just being picky.

-Doug

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Rich: Thanks!

Anon: Thanks, but I offer no comment. I don't want to unfairly hurt the reputation of my soon-to-be new home. These blogs represent my fear of what I might find there, not what actually exists. I haven't seen my new town yet.

Anonymous said...

You quit working in animation?

And don't worry. I've lived in small towns my whole life down in Arkansas. I hate it because zero opportunity art wise which is why I desperately want to leave. But even when I lived in the country people are pretty technologically advanced. I moved to a country farm town once with only one store in the whole town. I figured the elderly owner's probably whittled or some stereotype like that since there was little business. They told me, "No we watch Netflix on our iPads or play rock song parodies on electric guitars when business is slow."

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jason: Thanks! That's good to know! I'll continue to knock small towns because I have anxieties to work out, but I'll be very happy if I turn out to be wrong.