The holiday weekend's starting and I don't think too many people will be reading this blog over the next three days. Good! Now's the time to sneak in a couple of serious posts! Brace yourself because here comes...
WHY SUICIDE SUCKS!Everybody's had a bad patch when everything seemed dark and insufferable. I imagine that everybody (except Alicia) has at least once thought about doing themselves in. It's an appealing alternative to misery. If some painless way could be found to do it then why not? Here are the reasons why I believe it's a bad idea.
1) There are very few painless ways.
2) Your death would demoralize the people who love you and have helped you.
3) Your enemies would triumph. Your cause would be lost.
4) The fourth and final point, the thing that all this was leading up to, is this: you probably won't do it, and morbidly thinking about it all the time will just sap your energy. Let me elaborate.
The fact is that for most people the little things in life...the feeling of air on your skin, the way grass smells... are collectively so profound and so satisfying that you could never bear to put them behind you. There must be a reason why so many people consider suicide and so few people actually do it. I think the reason is that we're hot-wired to enjoy our senses. We're hot-wired to be survivors. Think about suicide all you want but the overwhelming odds are that you won't do it.
Now if you're not going to do it, then thinking about it all the time is an energy drain. If you're going to slog through life anyway...and the statistics say that you will...then you'd be foolish to spend time walking around with the ball and chain of despair around you. If you're going to persevere through all that misery anyway then you may as well charge into it with both fists swinging.
My hunch is that when a person finally and definitively commits to living, no matter how miserable it gets, then he feels a burden removed from his shoulders. The problems that were bothering him seem easier to deal with because he can devote his total energy to them. That's the harm brought about by thoughts of suicide, that they take a person who may have an energy deficit and steal even more energy from him.
What do you think?
36 comments:
I believe that when someone gives you the impression that they are suicidal, the best thing to do is to be as optimistic as possible and show them every benefit to life there is- and you're right, even the little things count like the air against your skin. I try to introduce them to upbeat music they've never listened to before and artwork almost always helps them see more appreciation in life. I'm not saying artwork can cure suicide but it almost DEFINITELY can help the situation.
I'd comment on the idea of removing suicidal thoughts benefiting one's life if I've actually undergone that sort of experience. The thing is I've never really thought about suicide in a serious tone. Someone with that experience is bound to come across this entry, though.
I think that some people just consider it because they know it would be a big attention getter. Most little kids run away from home for this reason as well.
But, most people reconsider it simply because......... duh........ they won't be around to receive the attention their death causes.
Sometimes it's just that simple.
This post is great, you are so right, Eddie.
I'm impressed because you put it in a way that people going through hard times can actually relate to what your saying and think about it, you sound like someone who know what he's talking about and you're being rational. That's powerful.
If person A is feeling low and some well intentioned person (person B) says 'cheer up' and throws flowers at his face, the conclusion reached by A is that B has probably never felt the way A feels now, which makes them different somehow. B's advice will be discarded because A will think B cant ever understand him. If B insists with 'just be happier', A will probably get offended (and annoyed) at some point.
Wow. Early Saturday morning good-times, Eddie!
Yes, those are all excellent points, and perfectly logical. I'm also afraid they wouldn't have stopped 99% of the successful suicides now pushing up daisies.
The reason is that people who rationalize killing themselves(specifically adults, not children, who do commit suicide for "romantic", rash reasons and do not understand mortality as adults too sadly do)are almost always very mentally ill--as ill as a person with terminal cancer. The cause of most suicides os clinical depression--the kind that killed Spaulding Gray and Hunter Thompson, for instance. I know several people who were friends who killed themselves--every one had over a period of years fallen into a deep, clinical depression that "talk" therapy--full of all the good reasons you give--which I myself have entertained too. But I've never been clinically bipolar or needing medication, and I think those rational thoughts and the malaise goes away. My point is, only a really healthy person would benefit from your reasons not to kill yourself. Most adults *have* thought about suicide, but "most adults" never do it. People who go through with it are at that moment far, far beyond rational, logical help, and we who do not suffer from that kind of illness have zero frame of reference for it.
Very profound, Eddie.
Hm. I thought Jerry Seinfeld did a better job of explaining why suicide is the wrong answer.
While I've never met anyone who actually contemplated suicide, except for one woman many years ago who had mental problems and kid her son, and then took her own life afterwards, it's still shocking when you hear about someone (whether, someone you know, a complete stranger, or a celebrety, Drew carey for example) thinking of pulling that trigger.
It makes you think differently about them. makes you wonder exactly what kind of life they've had. I've never thought of suicide (no real reason to), but I look at it this way. You shove that rifle down your throat, or swallow that Black Capsule, or get out the lasso, you're basically not letting your future happen. So what if all your dreams aren't coming now? Whose to say they won't happen later? You kill yourself and you'll never know.
So much for people not reading your board today, eh Eddie?
cartoon characters commit suicide all the time. in fact, they LOVE it!
"Now he tells us.." - BLAM
"Now I've seen everything!" - BLAM!!!
"I'll kill myself before even LOOKIN at another dame" - BA LAM!
i guess cartoon characters lives are cheap ;)
Wow that was really depressing Eddie...I think I'm going to go kill my self...
LOL Just kidding! Great stuff!
^That's like the point of cartoons, is that you can have people killing themselves and then mkaing a funny crack about it.
Suicide is so stupid and selfish. I know people who killed themselves and the grief it caused family and friends was tremendous. DON'T BE THAT SELFISH. It's always pissed me off.
It's funny how things work out. When I started this blog I thought it would be fun to do serious posts about 20% of the time. Maybe that's still a good idea but I have to say that the thing that really gets my adrenaline going right now is thinking about Drew's idea for the origin of buck teeth.
Something about blogs makes me feel giddy. I have to force myself to be serious in this medium. Why is that?
-Eddie
Suicide is definately gonna have to take a back seat because nailing this girl at work is way more important.
and I think a lot of people hate themselves so much it makes them comfortable to kill themselves slowly.
1. chain smoking (or drugs)
2. just doing it with everyone.
3. watching TV all day instead of thinking
and many more.
I have a couple theories about buck teeth!
Wow, Eddie. Just...wow. Very profound.
I think Marlo has got it right - there are a lot of people who kill themselves slowly rather than quickly.
Slightly OT, I'm interested to hear about the theory of buck teeth. I never had buck teeth, but I did have vampire teeth (cured by braces). I wonder if the same theory applies with vampire teeth as it does with buck teeth.
Suicide - something I've never had to seriously think about doing, as I'm a natural optimist, even when times were rough. The worst depression I ever faced was when my first girlfriend broke up with me after almost 2 years (oh, those teenage romances). She was all I ever knew about true love (up to that point). I got put on Prozac, but never considered taking mine own life.
Even if I had been suicidal though, it's ridiculous to look back and think that I'd end it all right there because the person I was insanely in love with threw me out like a bag of garbage. You know how they say, you'll find love again, there's someone better out there, etc. At that time I didn't believe ANYBODY on that claim. I didn't even think that was possible, until I found someone the following year. And then life becomes so much sweeter once again!!!
In any case, suicide is definitely a worthless remedy for life's temporary downfalls.
As for people with chronic illnesses and painful diseases, I don't know. Can you blame them for wanting to end their inevitable suffering? Especially if nothing will make them better? That's a hard one. But as for losing girlfriends, jobs, money, feeling like a 'victim' of society, don't be selfish. Just listen to what the great Eric Idle has to say: "Always look on the bright side of life! (whistle)"
wow! Interesting letters! Hmmm,...I think these call for an "Uncle Eddie's Mailbox"-type response.
Say, what are Vampire teeth? You mean large canines? I didn't know that condition even existed.
And what is this about a theory of buck teeth? I always assumed that buck teeth were a gift from the gods. Some people have brains, some people have looks and some people have buck teeth. That's the way of things. We all get a gift at birth.
-Eddie
I think I'd rather kill certain other people rather than myself.
In Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, the Miller says that "gat toothed women" are the best in bed.
Steve
Old saying: People who want to be found slash their wrists. Those who really want to check out cut their jugular veins.
I knew four different cats who cashed in their chips. All happened to be seriously mentally disturbed at the moment, and some were aided by narcotics. None used the methods mentioned above. Suicide is, of course, different in every case. But it certainly wrecks the lives closest to the suicide subject. Notice I didn't say 'victim'?
As mentioned in previous posts, suicide has a lot to do with depression. When you are extremely depressed you tend not to consider things logically, or how a normal person would approach them. Depression is a sick cruel disease of the mind. It is as much physical as it is mental pain. It can even make a perfectly (physically) healthy person go to shit because it stunts the immune system, which is why a lot of depressed people don't get sleep, don't digest food well, get headaches, get sick easily. It strips you of any hope or motivation for wanting to live and you wallow in a paralyzing dejection. True depression is not akin to some teenage pity party, poor-me, victim type of stuff, it is instead something that eats away at your mind. the mind is more powerful than we think(look at all the crazy clinically insane people who are convinced that their actions are normal), and if it goes down the wrong path its no good. Most therapy is futile and probably the only way of solving the problem is putting them on meds (assuming their messed up bodies don't reject them). But most people who are that depressed will probably follow through regardless of what someone tells them. It is ending the pain and suffering, or putting yourself out of your own misery, so to speak.
I'm not really buck-toothed, but I have a front gap wider than the Royal Gorge!
Wow, excellent post Mr. Fitzgerald. I agree with it, although I think if a truly foolproof and painless way were around, more folks might opt for that way out. The only person I knew to try, jumped off the roof of his house and didn't die, but was seriously messed up. A few years later he corrected that screw up by taking a dive off a bridge. It worked that time. Pretty sad.
I got buck teeth... I wish I'd gotten braces as a kid...
>Say, what are Vampire teeth? You mean large canines? I didn't know that condition even existed.
My sister has big canines and can't fully close her mouth. Her canines keep the front of her teeth open. It's so weird.
Eddie, regarding those Tashlin commentaries you did, are they for the golden collection?
Anonymous #3?--1st 'anonymous' here.
Thanks for the way you wrote that--much more coherent than mine (never try to write when half awake balancing a laptop on your knees). You obviously know your stuff.
I've had several lively (ouch--no pun intended) debates with people over the suicide of a famous writer, and the residual damage it caused...it's fascinating, because in discussing it it's clear that most average joes have big trouble understanding (or even conceiving) that a suicidal person usually isn't thinking in any form close to "normal", and has zero control over their depression or actions.
Recently Mike Wallace came out admitting that during his clincal depression(not the "average" kind most of us know)he tried to commit suicide, something he'd hotly denied before--a man with a fantastic career, loads of money, Hamptons house, loving wife, kids, friends, the works. But his mind went sour all on its own(triggered by various things), and all he could think was that it would be much better for everyone, and relieve his own pain, to kill himself. He utterly believed that--this brilliant guy. Understandably he says meds have saved his life.
However, yes, most average people have given it some thought, in a idle way, and that's the sort of person that could benefit from(and usually thinks up themselves)the points Uncle Eddie makes.
Frankly, if you haven't ever given a moment's thought to killing yourself-just a fleeting, "Oh, what IF?", then you're either more hard-wired for happiness than most or you're just pretty lucky/young yet. Sadly, over the course of a lifetime Fate hurls things at you that can make you question the ultimate value of your life.
Eddie, I think that it was the very brutal nature of life--the horrible struggle, the shortness of it--that played a huge part in the Church making suicide a heinous sin, don't you?
Of course now we think it's barbaric, not to say ridiculous, to suggest that a miserable suicide victim is a murderer as much as if he'd killed another person. Anyway, average lifespans then were--what? 45? Boy, you'd better relish it whist you had it, serf or not(and make sure to drop a mite in the box on the way out).
Keep on with the serious ruminations...you can lure us in with your frivolity, then pounce with the heavy stuff! Why not? Kovacs would have loved that approach! Few more dark, brooding and sentimental than a Hungarian--or an Irishman, n'est pas?
DON'T DO IT, EDDIE!
Hi Eddie
It's me Jesse. I hope you don't mind me bringing this up but I know that you did some of the Storyboards for the Ren & Stimpy cartoon "Fire Dogs 2" and I would like to know if any of the jokes and gags in that cartoon were based on any real life storys from Ralph Bakshi's life? That cartoon is Hilarious and a classic by the way.
your pal,
Jesse
P.S. Even if your not going to be at John's event on Sunday don't worry. I won't be there either because I live in Baltimore MD.
It's true, I always have an urge to survive.
Interesting perspective, Eddie. Thanks. =)
Nice job CanleClaire! It's wonderful to see that we can talk about serious things sometimes!
-Eddie
Hi Eddie,
You were close re: "vampire teeth". My teeth were perfectly straight EXCEPT for my canine teeth - they stuck out from the rest of my teeth, giving me the appearance of fangs.
-- J
Great post Eddie. I'm liking your blog more and more everyday.
Death is a great Career move.
I think Warner Bros is committing suicide right now!
Warner Bros isn't commiting suicide, they're just slowly buying back 20 billion worth of their own stock, draining their coffers for anything except the select executive bonuses and promotions that went through just prior to the announcement last fall that 2006 would be a "lean year" by design (curious timing, since 2005 was among their most fiscally profitable). That company hasn't been run competently since the death of Steven J. Ross. Prostate cancer, BTW, snuffed out Mr. Ross, not suicide. A parade of well-tailored incompetents has helmed their ill-merged corporate entity ever since. One thing that the world's criminals never seem to lack is self-esteem. George W. Bush, we all surmise, sleeps just fine, with or without the aid of liquor and pills.
What crimes had George W. Bush committed, you fool?
No one has the right to take a life -even if it your own.
God alone is the one that gave you the gift of life and He alone should be the one allowed to take it away.
I realize that it's easy to say that when you're not a suicidal person, but if you are reading this with the intent of possibly taking you own life, please stop and reflect on this for a moment.
Why is it that you want to end your life? Deep sadness, unbearable pain, hopelessness?
What is your relationship with your Creator, God? Do you know how He feels about you and your thoughts?
If you've been taught to believe that you're worthless - then you've been taught a LIE!
Nothing is more precious to our Creator, Jehovah God than each individual life that is born!
The Bible teaches that soon all the problems that plague mankind in the world today will soon be wiped away and the earth will be restored to a paradise ( just like God purposed from the beginning.)
If you have lost loved ones in death, our Loving Creator, Jehovah will bring them back to life in perfect health on the new paradise earth to be reunited with their families and friends.
Death, unlike what most false religious churchs teach is not a step to another life --- God never intended for man to die!
The Bible tells us at Psalm 37:29 -"The righteous ones themselves will possess the earth and will reside forever upon it".
Forever doesn't have an end! It means that we will never grow old, never get sick, never be depressed, NEVER DIE!
Would you like live in a world where God will rule mankind and ALL HUMAN GOVERNMENTS will cease to exist --which means NO NATIONALISM, WAR, HATRED!
Take the time to check out the offical website of Jehovah's Witnesses, www.watchtower.org and see for yourself what the Bible Really teaches about the future and not just what you've been taught in the past.
You'll be surprised what others have been holding back from you - THE TRUTH. Especally God's personal name "Jehovah" check out an old King James version Bible - at Psalm 83:18 - and see for yourself -- have you been lied to for all these years?
Find the truth that Jesus said would set you free from the fear of all the things false religion has taught you and learn about the wonderful future that Jehovah has in store for those who want to live forever without pain or sorrow in the new paradise earth will be here soon!
- JD
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