MY INTERVIEW WITH UNCLE EDDIE
by Buelah Pithfuzzy
"Pack up! We're going to send you to Uncle Eddie's House!" the TC for Women editor told me. Wonderfull! Being a fan of the famous theoretcian and renowned ladies' man, I was excited more than I can say!
Pulling up the driveway of his famous villa, I didn't know what to expect. Would he bowl me over with theories? Would he try to seduce me? As it happened, he kissed my hand, which I suddenly realized was exactly what I had wanted him to do. He seemed to be sensitive to every nuance, knowing without having to be told what a woman wants and needs.
Inside we sat down and, while sipping some of the most delicious tap water I ever tasted, I commenced the interview:
TC for W: "You stood on the hood of my car when I pulled into the driveway. Would you say you're impulsive?"
Uncle Eddie: "Not impulsive. Just...how do you Americans say it?...just happy to
be in the presence of a beautiful woman. Excuse me please, while I
stand and adjust the tension on my male bikini...there. Next
question?"
TC for W: "What was the longest time you ever spent making love?"
Uncle Eddie: "One night and a day. More than that and I start getting itchy."
TC for W: "Do you prefer stupid women or intelligent women?"
Uncle Eddie: "Oh, intelligent women, definitely. And if they have buck teeth, then
so much the better. But it's not the teeth so much as what a buck-
toothed woman has in her eyes, the buckness of soul, you know
what I mean?"
TC for W: "Do you ever cook for your women?"
Uncle Eddie: "Oh, yes! That is my pleasure! I make a delicious stew consisting of
oysters, catnip, Viagra and vodka. The woman holds the funnel in
her mouth and I pour."
TC for W: "Are you offended when John K draws you like this (below)?
Uncle Eddie: "Let me see (puts on his glasses) ...Oh, that John! He is such a
child."
TC for W: "Why do you think women are so attracted to you?"
Uncle Eddie: "I hope it's not because I'm a cartoonist or any status thing like
that. I hope it's because they find me a mystery."
TC for W: "Are you a mystery?"
Uncle Eddie: Well...heh, heh!...I won't say yes and I won't say no."
22 comments:
YAY! First post!
Eddie! You serve wemon Viagra in their meals. That's just rude!
till next time,
Drew
That's the most skillfully rendered cat's ass I've ever seen in a blog.
I will be renewing my subscription to “TC for Women” immediately, and I would like to thank the editors for their commitment to journalistic excellence.
It is nice to finally see an interview with real substance, and not just another Cartoonist “Fluff” piece.
Thank You,
James.
Now I know they gave you painkillers. Oodles and oodles of them.
It's amazing what a set bikini trunks can do for one's posture!
I think I'll shuck off these silly pants and see if that corrects my dowagers hump.
Vincent
Oh crap i missed the no men thing...
Vincent...is that 'dowager's hump' or 'hump dowa--oh, 'never mind. ; )
Hell, I'd pay to see your dowager's hump!
I thought they hadn't invented 'viagra for women' yet? In any case-spew! I'll bet that stuff's nasty-tasting.
Best drawing of you yet!
Haha aren't you the hospitable fellow! Posing on women's cars in a speedo and funneling down some viagra stew--how do you keep the ladies at bay?
Actually Viagra works on women as well. It engorges the organs making them much more sensitive.
engorging is always a good thing.
See ya
Steve
Loving buck-toothed smart chicks, serving tap water and Viagra stew. All in a speedo.
Just freakin' awesome.
I think the rest of you menfolk are gonna be stuck with blow-up dolls if you can't match that.
I prefer buck toothed blow up dolls.
Hahaha, Eddie, you make me chuckle.
Love,
"Sylvia"
Eddie:
Next time tell us about when you, Amy Vanderbuilt and Emily Post hosted that erotic chilli cook-off! I think prople will be amazed at what happened to the winner...
I feel dirty- and enlightened at the same time.
I like how the cat's butt is right by your face- your face is much more flattering than the rectum :)
I call it a "cat prune".
You and Sting have lots in common Uncle Eddie! Thanks for stopping by my blog.
hahahhahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahaha! :D
That post was HILARIOUS! You really made my day, Eddie.
Hey Eddie
What are your feelings about the New Ren & Stimpy Lost Episodes DVD comeing out soon?
Jesse
That last answer was the best!
Kali: My face is much more flattering than the cat rectum!!!??? Well, come to think of it, I guess it is.
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