Sunday, July 29, 2007

AN IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON

Brother Paul (VOICE OVER): "Nobody...I say NOBODY'S got it made in life! You can lose what you've got, (SNAP!) just like that!"



Brother Paul (CONT): "Let me tell you a sad, sad story!"



Brother Paul (CONT): "Once there was a happy couple. They were blessed with every good thing the world could offer. At home, snug in their beds, lay their eight beautiful children and a fluffy dog...the fruits of a life well lived.



Brother Paul (CONT): "If you'd seen them you'd have said, ' What an ideal couple! Surely nothing could drive a wedge between them'....but you'd have been wrong!"


TAP! TAP! TAP!




Brother Paul (CONT) : "You'd have been wrong, because no one can resist...THE WICKED CITY WOMAN!"


Brother Paul (CONT): "She's Satan incarnate! Many a ship has crashed on the rocks of life when this temptation came along!"




Brother Paul (CONT): "The previously loyal husband, the woefully weak vessel, was no match for this Jezebel! It only took a minute for his life to change forever!"



Loyal Wife: " 'W...What are you doing!?,' said the distraught wife."


Loyal Wife (CONT) : "GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!"


The Weak Vessel: "Um...I'll be back in a few minutes!!"



The Loyal Wife: "No, don't do it! Think of our eight beautiful dogs and one fluffy child!"



Loyal Wife: "(Sob!) Come back! Come back!!!"



The Weak Vessel: "Rut! Rut! Rut! Rut! Rut! Rut!"



Brother Paul: "Did you see that!? Did you see that!!?? That couple's going straight to Hell, the victim of wrong preaching! I'll bet the stupid husband went to that dopey church across the street!"

Pastor Burt: "They're goin' straight to Hell alright, but it's your preachin' that did it! Look to yourself, why don't you!?"
Brother Paul: "(Mumbling) .....stupid Presbyterian.


Pastor Burt: "(Under his breath) ...dim bulb Baptist."


BAM!!!!



The Weak Vessel: (Gurgle! Goik! Glubble....)

The Weak Vessel: (Goorple! Glurk!)



Sister Ann: "Not bad, Sister Rachael!"
Sister Rachael: "Mmmm...coulda' been better, Sister Ann. I forgot to correct for the wind. "


Father O'Malley: "Let's get a bite to eat, Sisters. Theological disputes always make me hungry!"







27 comments:

John A said...

Those evil city women and their wicked wicked ways!! (sigh)...how I love them!

Lester Hunt said...

"The wages of sin is death." I used to believe that. That was before I met my new best friend, Mr. Satan.

NateBear said...

kali tearing out her hair made me laugh so hard.

pappy d said...

And they say no one writes good roles for women any more.

Brilliantpants said...

Can more posts include funny faces and Burt Lancaster?

John Perez said...

No musical number from father O'Malley?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Aaaargh! That post took almost four sleepy hours to put up! I don't think I can do too many like that.

Thanks to Kali and Marlo, who are really fun to take pictures with! Marlo's a great photographer! I stole the pictures from Kali's site: http://kalikazoo.blogspot.com/

"Rut,rut,rut,rut!" is a John expression. Hope he didn't mind me using it!

Jennifer said...

bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! *ahem ahem ahem* (me trying to compose myself - for about 2 seconds) pppppphhhhhbwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The ending was the best part - justice served by a bunch of gun-toting nuns. You were about to receive a bill for a new laptop, Uncle Eddie, because after I saw the ending of the story, I nearly spit my coffee on my computer! I was laughing so hard. As for the nuns, I always thought that they were armed with rulers and rosaries.

BTW - I showed my colleague this blog when he wanted to know what I was laughing at. He thought that Kali was your daughter, and that Marlo was Molly Ringwald.

Julián höek said...

in the 6th picture you did an expretion like if you could smell marlo's hot body aproaching!!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jennifer: Thanks for the kind words!

Kali IS young enough to be my daughter! The thing is that
beautiful girl gags work so well with photo comics that no matter what idea you start with it's going to end up being about that in the end.

Pete Emslie said...

I swear, it's like watching the missing film of Billy Wilder, circa 1963 or so. "Kali" would be played by the cute and goofy Shirley Maclaine; "Eddy" by that lovable shnook, Jack Lemmon; and "Marlo" by the fiery red-maned knockout, Jill St. John.

But don't worry folks. Jack Lemmon ("Eddy") would come to his senses and go back home to Shirley ("Kali") before that posse of nuns would come gunning for him. And Jill St. John ("Marlo") would see the error of her ways when she's reformed by Bing ("Father O'Malley"), thereby dedicating herself to a life of God-fearing chastity.

Hey Eddie, can I be in the sequel, where "Marlo" reverts to her sinful ways when she meets a silver-tongued devil from Canada? Thanks!

EOCostello said...

I quote from that great 1920s song, "I Wish't I Was In Peoria":

Mike McCann, married man,
Has a jealous wife,
He's in love with a chorus girl
And leads a double life.
Wife breaks in, catches him,
She's all set to kill.
Blooey, Blooey, Bang! Bang! Bang!
I'll read you his last will:

For a great performance of same, go to:

http://www.perfessorbill.com/covers/peoria.htm

Full lyrics at:

http://www.perfessorbill.com/pbmidi10a.shtml

and page down.

Anonymous said...

What really happened between Eddie and Marlo after he left Kali:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-wWTQ70NKE

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Pete: Jack Lemon!? I'm flattered!

EO: Those are pretty good lyrics. What an interesting site!

Anon: Ha!

Brilliant: Burt? Not a bad idea.

Steve Schnier said...

That Wicked City Woman was a redhead. It's a well known fact that no man can resist redheads and their wicked charms...

I.D.R.C. said...

"Rut,rut,rut,rut!" is a John expression.

The only word funnier for horny animals is "must", which they use for elephants. It's funny if you think of "must" in the sense of "has got to". I'm sure that's not the etymology.

Anonymous said...

I thought this was going to turn into Murnau's 'Sunrise,' thank god for nuns.

Daniel Aguilar said...

Jeje it´s funny.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

daniel: Those are funny drawings on your blog!

Brilliantpants said...

Eddie, Burt Lancaster is always a good idea.

Kali Fontecchio said...

"Kali IS young enough to be my daughter!"

I have a weird feeling we are related- our profiles are too alike.

' "Kali" would be played by the cute and goofy Shirley Maclaine '

Someone told me I look like her- at least in the eyes.

Eddie is my favorite person to create with.

J. J. Hunsecker said...

>>Eddie, Burt Lancaster is always a good idea.<<

Yes, I agree.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Kali: LOL! Thanks!

PCUnfunny said...

Edddie have you cosidered doing one those "snap shot" movies like they use to do on MADTV ?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

P.C.: What is a sapshot movie? Never heard of it.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

PC: Wow! I just watched some snapshot movies on YouTube! Thanks for the idea!

PCUnfunny said...

You're welcome Eddie. ;o)