Sunday, November 25, 2007

HOW ABOUT A SOAP OPERA!?





OUR PLAYERS: Juanita, the most beautiful girl in the village....




...and Roderigo, the brave bullfighter!

Announcer: "In our last episode, Roderigo shocked everybody by announcing that that he was canceling the marriage between himself and the beautiful Juanita! It seems that Roderigo got wind of a rumor spreading around the village to the effect that Juanita previously had a secret baby by the wealthy playboy and cad, Frenando Lopez.


Announcer (CONT): "Lopez can't be found and for some mysterious reason Juanita refuses to answer direct questions on the subject."



Announcer (Cont): "Roderigo, in an effort to forget Juanita, fled into the arms of the sultry village vamp, Carlita, and led a life of dissipation! In our last episode Juanita met Roderigo in the local cheese shop and begged him to take her back."


Juanita: "Why Roderigo? Why!? Everything was going so well! I'm still the same person you loved only weeks ago!"



Roderigo: "Hah! Love? You talk to me of love? What does a woman like you know of love!? And what do you know of honor?"



Juanita: "What do I know? I'll tell you what I know! I know the pure love of a woman when she loves from the depth of her soul! And honor? There is nothing more sacred to me than honor!"



Roderigo: "Well, in that case you'll be interested to know that I've decided to fight 'El Tigre', the greatest bull ever to set foot in the arena!"




Juanita: (Gasp!) "El Tigre!??? The mad killer!? The bull that's put two matadors under the ground!?!??"
Roderigo: "The very same!"


Juanita (CONT): "Roderigo, that's insane! With your gimp leg...the one you got rescuing that old lady...you wouldn't stand a chance! Fighting that bull would be suicide!"
Roderigo: "Perhaps so. What do you care?"



Juanita: "Then it is I who will leave this life first! If I'm the cause of your misery then I don't want to live!"




Roderigo (shocked): Juanita, wait! For God's sake, throw that devil blade to the ground! If anything were to happen to you, I couldn't bear it!



Roderigo (CONT): "Come to me little one! Let us put aside this rancor! Let us forget the past! We each know the worst about the other. Surely there is nothing new! This nearly broke us, but... "

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!



Roderigo: "Huh?"



Juanita: "Wha...?"



KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!!!!



Announcer: "A simple knock at the door and everything is disturbed. Why? What are Juanita and Roderigo afraid of?

Announcer (CONT); "Does it have anything to do with an alleged baby? Or is something even darker and more disturbing about to enter their lives?
Join us next week for the next thrilling episode of...."THE SECRET STORM!"


Hey, do you have a digital camera? Then why not take a crack at doing the next episode of "Secret Storm" yourself? Post it on your site and I'll link to it! I may even swipe it and put it up here...with attribution, of course!

30 comments:

Vincent Waller said...

Bravo! Bravo!

Marlo Meekins said...

HAHhA awesome! *clap clap clap*

Josh "Just What the Doctor Ordered" Heisie said...

AWESOME!

Sean Worsham said...

heck yah! Is that a pic of Barbara (the one with the eyepatch?) XD

Nico said...

You are the Facial Expressions King!

Pat McMicheal said...

Awesome....I love creative people....I also love funny people!!! You have it all man!

Lester Hunt said...

¡Je je je! ¡Excelente!

Anonymous said...

I wish I was a network goon so I could throw money at this

Anonymous said...

I never wondered what a female Uncle Eddie head ice cream cone looked like.

Jennifer said...

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

For the person who does the next epi of The Secret Storm - if you want to do an inside joke in your epi, take one of the female characters, preferably a character in her 20s, and indicate that the actress who plays this character is unavailable, so the actress's famous movie star mother will be standing in for her while the actress is out.

MikeSnj said...

Hahaha. Awesome. Good to see you brought back the "no" hat.

Gabriel said...

eddie, it has nothing to do with your post, but i thought you and your readers would like to read this:

British researchers are recommending that cops drop the practice of circulating police sketches of suspects in favor of crazy, amusement-pier-style caricatures that "over-emphasise prominent features."

chrisallison said...

awesome eddie! seems like great practice.

did you ever work your face out at the gym? stare into a mirror for years as a child? face implants? you have the most hilarious expressions a human being could hope for. please share; you must have a secret. this expression business seems like a developed talent rather than a god-given gift, like your looks.

Charlie J. said...

genius!

Not all grown men have your sense of humor! You should be on a sitcom!

diego cumplido said...

Oh, sorry about this Eddie. But the correct spelling for "Roderigo and Frenando" is "Rodrigo and Fernando".

Good job and gestures, anyway.

Josh "Just What the Doctor Ordered" Heisie said...

I DID IT! Here's the thrilling next chapter, starring yours truly! Enjoy!

www.mindblowingthrills.blogspot.com

Josh Heisie

Weirdo said...

I MUST know what happens to the beautiful Juanita. Good choice of names by the way.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Everybody: Thanks for the kind words!

Josh: HawHawHawHawHaw!!!!!!!! That link was hilarious! I laughed all the way through it!

Do you mind if I excerpt it?

Jennifer: Not a bad idea!

Marlo: Thanks! And thanks for putting up more great stuff on your own blog!

Chris: Secret? Interesting question! Let me see if I can come up with one!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Gabriel: Fascinating! It makes sense! Lots of people recognize me from John's caricatures!

Josh "Just What the Doctor Ordered" Heisie said...

Do whatever you want with the link, Eddie! Thanks!

David Germain said...

Hee hee! Juanita resembles Kali in a way. I can't quite put my finger on it though.

That was a funny story with both parts nicely played by yourself. You could easily do a one man play on Broadway.

mike f. said...

HAW HAW!
I hope you ate all the ice cream out of that cone before you put it on yer nose, Eddie!

Ken Mitchroney said...

My fav-o-rite part ? Gigantic Eddie shoulders and The first insert of the door knock. That totaly caught me off guard. Great stuff Edwardo.

ELLERY said...

Mr. Uncle Eddie,
Thanks! You are a real pick me up! I look forward to your site every morning. You are a real Card!

Jorge Garrido said...

I'd actually like to see some of those old soaps from the 40s and 50s. Are they on DVD?

John A said...

I can almost hear the classical guitar playing in the background,... or maybe I've just doubled up on my medication again.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Diego: My mis-spelling of Fernando was just a typo but I didn't realize "Rodrigo" was spelled that way. Thanks for the correction!

Jorge: I don't know if there are any soaps on DVD but you can still find them on TV. Mexican and Korean channels are full of them!

David: Juanita resembles Kali!? Haw! Kali'll kill ya!

Jorge Garrido said...

>Jorge: I don't know if there are any soaps on DVD but you can still find them on TV. Mexican and Korean channels are full of them!

Only modern ones... My mom used to love watching Amigas y Rivales on Univision.

Meixcan novelas differ from American soap operas in that novelas last only a few months (by definition), and american soap operas last decades!

Kali Fontecchio said...

HOLY CRAP- I FORGET TO GOTO YOUR BLOG JUST ONE DAY AND THIS IS WHAT I MISS. AMAZING! I LOVE IT!!

lastangelman said...

SIDESPLITTING!
Erk!!! Anyone got a needle and thread?