Thursday, May 09, 2013

THE NEXT STEP IN CANINE EVOLUTION

I'll start with two questions: the first, will dogs of the future fly? Yes of course they will. They already fly if you count travel in airplanes. Geez, dogs have even been in space. When the day comes that humans fly around in jet packs, you can bet that dogs will tag along in jet packs of their own.

The second question: what will dogs of the future look like? No problemo, that's easy to answer. They'll look like us. Lots of them (below) already do.

You probably think I'm kidding, but I'm not.


When I was a kid lots of dogs still looked like modified wolves (above). Not any more.


Most modern breeds (above) look like teddy bears. They're fluffy little things.


But that's not the only change I've seen. Modern dogs love to kiss. When I was a kid dogs kissed less frequently, only when the dog decided we deserved it.  Now dogs are effusive. Even when in pain they want to kiss their masters. They're obsessed with it.


Amazingly, humans kiss the dogs back!!!! If I'd done that when I was a kid my Dad would have freaked out. I can hear him now: "What's the matter with you? Don't you know where that tongue has been?" The thought of that would have been deterrent enough.

It's common nowadays to walk into a room and find humans and dogs kissing on the mouth.  It's embarrassing! I feel like asking the couple if they'd prefer to be alone.


But I said I said I was going to speculate on the next step in dog evolution. Brace yourself, because this is creepy. The next step is...are you ready?..... human expressions. Dogs get more expressive every day. Look at the way that dog above is looking thoughtfully at something offscreen.


Decades ago dogs (above) had the basic doggie emotions: happy, sad, eager, angry...stuff like that. Now you see emotions like arch, whimsical, bemused, and puzzled. Yikes! Dog breeders must be doing that!


Whether or not the dog (above) really feels those complex emotions is something only the dog knows. All I know is they increasingly have the appearance of having them.

It's disturbing. I want to be the only one in my house who's bemused. I don't want my parakeet or goldfish to look like they're wrestling with the great questions of philosophy. That's MY job!

BTW: Here's an interesting link on a similar subject from Roberto Severino:

http://dogbehaviorscience.wordpress.com/2012/09/29/100-years-of-breed-improvement/


7 comments:

Unknown said...

You've really touched the dog/pet lover in me with this post, Eddie. I'm marking this one as one of my favorites from this year so far. I have a pet chihuahua named Sammy and sometimes I can't believe that my dog's breed is the smallest in the whole world! My dog is actually about 10 pounds, well over the average weight but still appears small in comparison to other small dog breeds.

GW said...

In Russia foxes have been effectively domesticated. They now have floppy ears and act like dogs. I say we ought to call them doxes, short for domesticated foxes. Pretty soon we'll have doxes that look more like people.

Here's an article which anyone here can read if they get the chance.

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-10/fyi-domesticated-foxes

Sorry it's not hyperlinked. Those tags don't seem to work for me for some reason.

moon said...

I was talking to my son the other day about how it seemed dogs were different when I was a kid, and often more aggressive. I even mentioned that I used to see dogs that looked like wolves. I thought maybe it was just where I grew up, around farm dogs

Matthew Cruickshank said...

It's been a while since I visited the Theory corner- it's just as utterly brilliant & bonkers as I remember!! Love the posts Eddie! You're a superstar.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Matt: Haw! Thanks for the compliment! I bookmarked your site, though I imagine you're doing most of your posting on Facebook now.

Moon: Less aggressive than in the past? I think you're right. In my lifetime dogs may have evolved more than any other higher mammal, including cattle and sheep.

GW: I'll look up that link and get back to you.

Roberto: You have a Chihuahua? I hadn't figured you as a chihuahua man.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

GW: I just read the fox article. Many thanks! I had no idea that animal breeding had gone that far, and it clarified the difference between domesticated and tame.

Anonymous said...

Do you think dogs will start to walk upright?