GIRL EXPRESSIONS

Most female expressions are the same as men's (above). Nothing mysterious here, just the same expressions of joy and sadness that men have, only on a smoother, sexier, more easy to read surface.

But hold on...there's some expressions that don't get on charts like this. We all know that some expressions are unique to women, so unique in fact, that men have difficulty understanding them. Let's take a look at a few.........

 Okay, this expression for example....what the heck does it mean? My best guess is that it's saying, "I don't know whether I'm attracted to you or not, but here's a low intensity sexy look to keep you interested while I make up my mind."

Or this one (above). Is that a neutral expression? Is she irritated? Is she murderous? Is she daydreaming? She doesn't seem ecstatically happy, but that's about the best I can say.

What is this woman (above) saying? I feel silly for asking since she's obviously striking a model's pose and not trying to convey a real emotion...yet there is something else going on there, I just can't figure it out.

 Here's a girl (above) who's shocked by something unpleasant that she's just seen. The basic emotion is easy to read...what makes it noteworthy is that a secondary emotion seems seems to be overlayed on it. Taken all together she seems to be saying, "Oh, my God! My neighbor's been chopped up with an axe...and, er... doesn't my horrified expression look pretty?"

Man, you gotta feel sorry for women. They're what Norman Mailer called "prisoners of sex." They're doomed to be constant spectators on their own exterior lives. It's nice to be a guy, where you can tune out that self-awareness sometimes, and just relax.

How about this picture of a friend taken when she was a teenager? It's charming and doubly interesting when you realize that no man except Robert Pattinson would ever strike a pose like that. It's a girl thing. There's nothing wrong with that; actually I like the idea that girls have their own expressions. It's just interesting that expressions can be gender specific.

By the way, some girls have their own dialects too. In the late twenties and early thirties it was what we would call today, "Telephone Operator." Today it's "Valley Girl." Girls have their own textiles, color palettes, glasses, bottled water, cigarettes, recipes, candy, philosophy, books, cable channels, movies...even their own pencils and pens.....even their own science. It's a different culture.

MY DINNER WITH ANDRE (JOHN K) PART#3

We met at noon at the local Italian restaurant. John ordered Chicken Calizonne, which was good, but didn't have a bit of chicken in it. Boy, John doesn't have much luck with restaurants! Anyway, the conversation commenced.

We got to talking about the 70s when even white people wore afros. It was the age of Superfly!

Black guys' apartments of that era were always, with almost no exception, decorated with black leather and chrome. They're not like that now, but in those days it was mandatory.

All the rooms were like that, and they were spotless. You could eat off the floor! No clutter like in my house. Nothing but furniture and walls and vast amounts of empty space.

Invariably the pictures on the walls were cloth prints, framed with chrome, The subject was always the same: naked black women with huge afros. I guess if you didn't have these you were shunned by other blacks.

We marveled at how many Superfly accessories you could buy in those days: afro salt shakers, afro lamps, clippers to give your dog an afro...you could put an afro on anything and people would buy it! To make the point John drew some accessories of his own on his napkin, starting with the afro faucet (above).

Here's (above) the afro refrigerator and the afro parakeet with white double-pronged disco belt.

Then there's the afro pubic hair drawing which, in case kids are reading, I'll reproduce tiny. Anyway, John proved his point...anything can be embellished with an afro.

Another subject we hit was the shocking lack of facial expressions and body language in men. What's going on? Men are so stiff (you know what I mean)! They're like cigar store indians!

It's a point of honor among men to look as lifeless as possible. What gives?

Girls, on the other hand, seem to get more elastic every day. Guys, we're loosing the rubber war!

Well, there was more, but that's all I have time for. Once again we sighed, knowing the world would probably disregard what was expressed here this afternoon.