I had had cataract surgery yesterday and I'm recovering at home. Wow! I highly recommend this if you're in need of it. The world is so much more colorful than it appeared only a couple of days ago. I look around and the impression I get is that I'm in Paradise or The Garden of Eden. Everything is so deliciously clean and bright!
Since I'm temporarily stuck in the house and haven't the clarity of vision to read much I amuse myself by going to Google Images and looking up funny faces.
This woman could be Natasha in a live action "Rocky and Bullwinkle." I wish more people who are lucky enough to have character faces would take acting lessons and create a stage persona for themselves. Hollywood desperately needs funny character actors. So does amateur theatre.
My advice to this woman is, start cultivating an East European accent. Take elocution lessons and learn stage movement.
Here's (above) an interesting figure. The girl is obviously overweight but she uses the weight to make a humorous statement, or she could if she had stage aspirations. I like her aggressive confidence and the contrast made by the light, flimsy dress. I picture her as the nagging wife of a skinny, repressed man with a bow tie...
....someone like Don Knotts. She should take acting lessons.
I wish some girl who yearns to do physical comedy would learn how to do backward-leaning walks. You can cheat it so your weight looks unsupported even though it is supported. It must be hard, though. If you look close, the only girl who can pull it off in the dance above is the one near the middle with dark shorts.
After she finishes the walk she could stay bent back. Maybe she's at a cocktail party and she walks up to a couple and casually talks to them while in this position.
There's some of that feel in the first minute of Fosse's "Rich Man's Frug." I'll have to revise my earlier lukewarm review of this dance. The first two minutes of this video are great.
This woman's neck is concealed under all the fluff she's wearing, making it appear that she has no neck. It's not a flattering look but it is funny, and funny is bankable if you can be funny on film. You could build a character around a woman who dresses like this. Imagine Madeline Kahn wearing that wig and these clothes.
Wow! This woman is a born witch! For the stage, I mean. This is why we need more amateur theatre. Right now there's no outlet for good faces like this. Of course you'd have to write her part so it's custom-made to fit whatever assets she brings to the table. Amateurs can be great but you can't hand them one-size-fits-all scripts.
I'll start with Cesare Borgia (above), a violent psychopath whose senseless wars of conquest helped to undermine the Italian Renaissance. Orson Welles played him in a film called "Prince of Foxes" which I highly recommend.
His was an interesting face, no? Some contemprary painters patterend their depictions of Christ on him.
Here's Caligula, the mad young Roman emperor. The sculptor made him look crazy, which must have been a dangerous thing to do.
How about Genghis Khan (above)? He waged brutal, senseless war just to enhance his own reputation.
Then there's the mass murderer, Stalin, shown here in the days when he was a young thug.
Here's (above) Ivan the Terrible, a man who was aptly named. He was an evil man but I cut him a little slack because at great cost he stood up to the Mongol invasion and thus bought time for Europe to achieve a new Golden Age.
Then there was Mao, apparently the greatest mass murderer of the 20th Century, stacking up a body count that exceeded even that of Hitler and Stalin. Read about what went on when he tried to enforce his "Great Leap Forward."
By the way, Hitler certainly deserves a high place in this rogues gallery but I left him out because I couldn't find a suitable picture. Every photo of him has already been seen a gazillion times.
Not so frequently seen is this recent reconstruction of the head of Robespierre, architect of the French Revolution's "Reign of Terror." I always pictured him as having a thin, angular face, but I guess I was wrong.
Most female expressions are the same as men's (above). Nothing mysterious here, just the same expressions of joy and sadness that men have, only on a smoother, sexier, more easy to read surface.
But hold on...there's some expressions that don't get on charts like this. We all know that some expressions are unique to women, so unique in fact, that men have difficulty understanding them. Let's take a look at a few.........
Okay, this expression for example....what the heck does it mean? My best guess is that it's saying, "I don't know whether I'm attracted to you or not, but here's a low intensity sexy look to keep you interested while I make up my mind."
Or this one (above). Is that a neutral expression? Is she irritated? Is she murderous? Is she daydreaming? She doesn't seem ecstatically happy, but that's about the best I can say.
What is this woman (above) saying? I feel silly for asking since she's obviously striking a model's pose and not trying to convey a real emotion...yet there is something else going on there, I just can't figure it out.
Here's a girl (above) who's shocked by something unpleasant that she's just seen. The basic emotion is easy to read...what makes it noteworthy is that a secondary emotion seems seems to be overlayed on it. Taken all together she seems to be saying, "Oh, my God! My neighbor's been chopped up with an axe...and, er... doesn't my horrified expression look pretty?"
Man, you gotta feel sorry for women. They're what Norman Mailer called "prisoners of sex." They're doomed to be constant spectators on their own exterior lives. It's nice to be a guy, where you can tune out that self-awareness sometimes, and just relax.
How about this picture of a friend taken when she was a teenager? It's charming and doubly interesting when you realize that no man except Robert Pattinson would ever strike a pose like that. It's a girl thing. There's nothing wrong with that; actually I like the idea that girls have their own expressions. It's just interesting that expressions can be gender specific.
By the way, some girls have their own dialects too. In the late twenties and early thirties it was what we would call today, "Telephone Operator." Today it's "Valley Girl." Girls have their own textiles, color palettes, glasses, bottled water, cigarettes, recipes, candy, philosophy, books, cable channels, movies...even their own pencils and pens.....even their own science. It's a different culture.
It occurred to me that there are two kinds of faces in the world. In one kind (above) the elements are unified. All the features seem to fit with each other. You would expect a girl with eyes like the ones above to have a small mouth, and a girl with those kind of rounded cheeks to have a rounded nose. Everything harmonizes, as if the face were sculpted from a carefully made blueprint.
Young women in particular have faces like this.
The other type of face (above) is diversified. In this example the lips seem out of sync with the rest of the face. I picked a pretty extreme example just to prove a point. On most women the out of sync quality isn't this drastic, and doesn't detract at all.
Older people tend to be out of sync more than younger people. I guess that's because different parts of the face age in different ways. A face can be in sync in youth, and out of sync in middle age. Oddly enough, extreme old age tends to put the face back in sync again.
In the case of the woman above, whole facial masses are out of sync. The upper half of the face is broad and wide. The lower part is long and slender. She's still pretty. Every detail within the two masses is in sync, only the two large masses are off.
Here's (above) a woman with three major masses that are out of sync: the forehead and eyes are one mass, the cheeks and nose are another, and the mouth and chin are still another. Three separate design groups on one face! I kinda like it.
Here (above) we're back to a unified design again. What harmonizes this face is the repetition of rounded chevron shapes, not only in the details of the face, but in the shape of the jaw.
That's all I have to say about faces. I hope I haven't given the women on the site something to worry about. Most people have out of sync faces after 25 or so...that's what gives them character. Look what it did for Jeanne Moreau (above).
I have nothing else to say about facial structure, but while searching for faces on the net I discovered the interesting pictures above and below, so I thought I'd pass them on.
What do you think of the picture of the two sisters above (click to enlarge)? I like it a lot. It's so happy, so full of good vibes. It brings back pleasant memories of family members I met when I was a kid.
Okay, this is gruesome. Sometime after this picture (above) was taken, this woman was shot in the face with a shotgun. After shooting her, her husband shot himself. Miraculously both survived, but the wife required a facial transplant, possibly the world's first.
Here she is before surgery (above, left), and after (above, right). I assume the swelling in the jaw'll go down when the face heals. If you cover the overly-broad part of the face, you can see that the middle is a big improvement. Maybe I'll donate my face to somebody before I kick the bucket. It won't mean much without the buck teeth, though.