Showing posts with label high-strung. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high-strung. Show all posts

Sunday, September 16, 2012

LUNCH TIME AT THE INSTITUTE FOR THE HIGH STRUNG

EXT.  INSTITUTE FOR THE HIGH STRUNG (formerly The Institute for the Terminally Self-Righteous and Abysmally Contrarian):


THERAPY LEADER: "That's enough group therapy for now, class. Hey, it's lunch time. How 'bout if I make some sandwiches?


PATIENT #1: "Whoa! Whoooooooa!!!!! Wait a freakin' minute! So what your tellin' us is that you're going to make sandwiches, and that we just supposed to eat whatever you make. Like...we're not even consulted! Am I the only one here who can see something wrong with that!?


PATIENT #2: "He's right! This isn't the Third Reich, you know. We have rights!"


THERAPY LEADER: "Oh, sorry. Would you prefer something else?"


PATIENT #3: "What I prefer you're not offering."


 PATIENT #4: "Will you all just pipe down and let the guy make some sandwiches? You crazy people disgust me!"


PATIENT #5: "Oh, it's Mister Sanity speaking! Well, listen up, goofball....You're just as whacked out as the rest of us!"


PATIENT #4: " Why you vile...filthy....if you weren't crazy I'd......"


PATIENT #5: "Is he right, Doctor? Am I crazy?"

DOCTOR: "No, no. You're just high strung, like everybody else here. A couple months on bland food and dreary, overheated rooms and you'll be just fine."


PATIENT #5: "Wha...? Y-you're condescending to me aren't you? What kind of doctor are you? You're just a quack!"


PATIENT #5: "Oh, there I go again! Are you sure I'm not crazy, doctor?"

DOCTOR: "No, no...of course not."

PATIENT #5 : "That's good. Then it won't matter if I've brought my gun to class."

DOCTOR: "Huh? Gun?"


 PATIENT #3: "Don't bother looking for it, it's right here. I saw it in your purse. First I'll kill everybody here, then I'll make the sandwiches the way I want them, then I'll take a bus into town and kill everybody there. This is going to be fun."


SLAP! ANOTHER PATIENT GRABS THE GUN.

PATIENT #6: "Whaddayou know about sandwiches?"


PATIENT #7: "Hit a girl, will 'ya!?"


PATIENT #8: "Oh my God! It's the clowns from the Institute for Deviant Clown Recovery  next door! They must have been attracted by the slaps!!!"


(SFX: SCREAMS AND SOUNDS OF SLAPS FROM INSIDE THE INSTITUTE)