"Hi! Uncle Eddie here! I just left Trader Joe's. I thought I'd stop for coffee on the way home and chat about the food I just got. I can only talk for a few minutes, though. I have frozen food in the car.
"What the heck!?"
"Oh, that's an endless loop of Kate Upton. She's the new spokesman for Carl Jr's. They're trying to change their image."
"Anyway...the food! The big news is a Trader Joe's frozen TV dinner called Chicken Tikka Masala. Don't dismiss it just because it's a TV dinner. It's just as good as the Tikka Masalas you'd get at an Indian restaurant, and beats the Masalas you buy in jars by a mile. Eat it with Trader Joe's Whole Wheat Naan. Their naan isn't exactly authentic, but it's still pretty good. "
"The only problem is, the Masala's portions are a bit on the skimpy side. It's kinda pricey considering how little you get."
"I thought about making it myself, using the contents list on the box as a guide, but that might not work. In India they use fresh spices and let them simmer all day long. When they cook a meal, they're primarily cooking the spices...the rest is just an afterthought. You might need a knack to do that."
"Next on the agenda is another indian dish, "Punjab Choley." Man, that's good! I've had it every few weeks for a year now and I've never gotten tired of it. Not only that, it's only two bucks a box. What a deal!"
"I was about to say that it's just as good as restaurant choley, but I think it
IS restaurant choley. I'll bet restaurants have mountains of those boxes in the back. They just open up the pre-cooked packets like I do and microwave them."
'"Hmmm, is there anything else? Maybe I better throw in a negative review so I don't look like I'm on the take from Trader Joe's."
"Well, the TJ kimchi was only so-so. A Korean friend got mad at me for even daring to buy the store-bought kind. Boy, Koreans take their kimchi VERY seriously. They think it has mystical properties. I wouldn't be surprised if they try to raise the dead with it."
"Okay, I'm outta here."
"Wow, an interesting ad!"
