I've just seen "Twilight" and I can't find the words to describe it. This isn't just a chick flick, it's the ultimate chick flick, the one that all other chick flicks will be compared to down the endless corridors of girly time. This is the film that proves beyond challenge that women really are a different species than men.
The whole film is Robert Pattinson giving Kristen Stewart "THE LOOK." Whenever Pattinson isn't staring at Stewart, he's staring into the camera, giving us THE LOOK too. The film is relentlessly hard selling Pattinson. The most egotistical actor in the world couldn't wish for more close-ups.
Men, you have to see this film. If you don't you'll never understand women. This is the full-strength version of what films like 'The Piano" only hinted at. THIS is what women want: red-lipped, gay-looking, emo-handsome men who are intensely...I mean intensely, I mean intensely to the exclusion of all else...intensely interested in their chosen woman. Women want the right man to give them THE LOOK! If you give them THE LOOK they'll murder their husbands for you and sell their children into slavery. They're junkies...they simply must have THE LOOK, regardless of the consequences!
If you're a guy don't expect to understand what women see in Pattinson. Only women understand it. If you don't look like this (above) then you're simply the flesh and bones your woman was forced to settle for because God didn't make enough Pattinsons.
About the best the rest of us men can do is to see the film, practice THE LOOK, then wait for a stormy night when, silhoutted by lightning, you can kick open your girl's bedroom door, with excrutiating slowness walk toward the bed where the girl is emitting little squeals of frightened passion to the tune of imagined jungle drums...ratchet down and press your forehead to hers...look deep into her eyes...and deliver...and deliver...and...and...well... you know what.
Here's the way Pattinson looks in real life. He's just a guy.
