GLORIOUS WRINKLES!

John K just put up a couple of great wrinkle posts and they inspired me to take a shot at it, in the belief that great and noble subjects like wrinkles can't be discussed too frequently. This is a post about wrinkles; beautiful, sumptuous winkles. Wrinkles, the cartoonist's friend.

Wrinkles look great on a suit, in fact a suit that doesn't have them (above) looks odd and characterless.

Of course you take a chance when you buy a wrinkle suit. The wrinkles won't always flatter you and indeed they shouldn't. You want a suit that has character, that is independent and has a life of its own.  The suit's idiosyncrasies are part of its charm.

The thing to understand about wrinkles is that the best ones are always a surprise. You expect a certain amount of wrinkles around a bent elbow, you don't expect really drastic wrinkles around the bottom of the rib cage as in the picture of President Kennedy above. The wrinkle connoisseur treasures surprises like this. 

Having lots of wrinkles serves to call attention to the areas that don't have them. Here (above) the wrinkled-up sleeve beautifully contrasts to the unwrinkled, clean sweep of the back.


The effort to vanquish wrinkles is doomed to defeat. You may as well grow to like them because there's not much you can do about them. President Nixon tried to banish them by wearing characterless felt (or felt-type) puppet jackets... a situation where the cure was worse than the disease.


I hate to admit it, but not all wrinkles are equal. Some are just plain boring. Here's (above) a velour jacket that's so thick and heavy that it looks like Ahab just stripped it off a whale. The heavy, lazy wrinkles have no character. They just can't take the trouble to assume interesting shapes.

Here's (above) another negative example: these (above) are the kind of despicable wrinkles you get straight out of the washing machine. The large wrinkles are too predictable, the small ones too random. 

Really interesting wrinkles occur when a well-groomed wearer tries to avoid them, but they occur anyway. That's an example of the suit asserting it's own personality, and not just being a toady to the wearer.


Some of the 30s and 40s suits were tailored with the deliberate intention of creating interesting wrinkles. These were fine in their own way, but the heavy fabric produced only predictable wrinkles. Not many surprises there. 

I prefer the baggy look of the early 50s. Slender suits were coming into fashion then but the older generation clung to the baggy look...only by then the fabric was less heavy. One day, when time machines have been perfected, wrinkle connoisseurs will take tours of this era and bring back lots of photos of the flamboyant oldsters.
 
It takes guts to be a wrinkle man. We relish what the rest of the world considers mistakes. Before I was enlightened I used to be appalled when I sat down and my puffy pants "tent-poled" up from the lap. Now I enjoy it, and do nothing to hide it. Er...well, actually I do try to hide it sometimes; I guess I still have to work on that one. I have a feeling it makes girls uneasy.


There's lots more to say about wrinkles, but I guess this is all I have time for now. One of these days I'll post about another interesting mens fashion: the slim, crimped waist look with the outrageously over-sized hats and spit-shined patent leather shoes. 

WHAT TESTOSERONE DOES

I have a minor surgery coming up on September second. Please, please don't ask for the boring details. It's nothing life-threatening and really, I've had a lot less of this sort of thing than most, so I have no reason to complain. I'll be flat on my back for a couple of weeks and I don't know whether I'll end up blogging more or less. it might be more, because I won't have much else to do. It's boring lying there looking up at the ceiling all day.

Anyway, I'm dying to tell you about a small detail that you might find interesting. For a few weeks I've had to prep for the surgery by taking a pill that inhibits testosterone. It's only temporary, I'll go back to normal next month, but for a few weeks I've had the experience of having low levels of the stuff. What a revelation!!!!!! From feeling the lack of it, I can now deduce with confidence what testosterone does, and it's not what I expected.

Actually the first few days I took this pill my testosterone increased for some reason, and I found myself wanting to fight other men all day. I'd strut around with my chest out, hoping that some guy would give me a surly look. I swear I felt like going into a bar and picking fights. I wasn't mad at anyone, not in the least, I just felt like a bull seal whose whole reason for existence was to defend his rock and protect his harem. Fortunately other men cut me some slack, which was lucky for me, because I can't fight to save my life. I knew that, but it didn't seem to matter. Hormones aren't logical.

After a few days I felt myself being drawn in the opposite direction. I didn't feel like a girl...that would have required female hormones...no, it was weirder than that. I felt like...like...well, like a reasonable man. A good citizen. I felt mild. All forms of conflict seemed pointless to me. It hit me as a revelation that disputes are pointless because there's no such thing as right and wrong. All of us are always, now and forever, half right and half wrong. Gosh darn, can't we live in harmony together?

That's the mood I'm in now. This mildness is driving me nuts but I can't shake it off. I feel less creative and even less libidinous. Less libidinous means that I think of sex only half the day now as opposed to all day, which has been my normal state since I was 13. Oh, well...it's only for another week or so. I'm counting the days.

So the big revelation I got was that our behaviors are more hormonally driven than I'd ever suspected. Boy, we're not many steps removed from the jungle! Maybe the guys in gangs are all abnormally high-testosterone types, and the peacemakers of the world all have abnormally low amounts. How are these people ever going to understand each other? On another point, during my week of high testosterone levels I felt no desire to beat up women, just men, so I've also learned that testosterone aggression is only directed toward other men. Last but not least, I learned that hormones are related to creativity. I always suspected that but now I feel certain about it.

FACES TO HANG ON THE WALL

I'm always interested to see what cartoonists hang on their walls. Usually it's cartoons and paintings. Sometimes it's music and film posters or, if the walls are dominated by the cartoonist's significant other, stately pictures of roses or horse-drawn carriages. My walls are mostly masks and cartoon cels.  The rest tend to be faces, why I don't know.  Here's a few that I either have framed up on the wall or am thinking about putting up.

This is a nice picture to end with, isn't it?  This is my all-time favorite picture of a dog, the towering Mount Everest of dog photos.

Thanks to Mike F. for turning me on to Julie Newmar and the "She May Be a Bag of Trouble" poster. Thanks to John K for the Mortimer Snerd photo.

THINKING ABOUT 3D ANIMATION

Boy, this is a big subject! For a start, lets ask whether 3D (above) really improved cartoons. Which version of Popeye do you prefer, the one above or the hand-drawn version below?


If 3D hasn't improved cartoons, why are we wasting time with it?





Which version of the Alvin characters do you prefer?


It's hard to be funny in 3D. I laughed when Clampett did the old shoes-for-wheels gag in "Coal black," but in 3D the same gag (above) is only mildly interesting.


Make the gag even more realistic (above) and it's not funny at all. The more realistic the shoe gag gets, the harder it is to make it funny. It's harder to be funny to be funny in 3D. It's less of a caricature of the real world.


Characters without pants can be funny (or almost funny) in 3D, but you have to work at it


Look how effortlessly 2D (above) accomplishes the same thing.


This group of old men looks hilarious in this (above) old Rube Goldberg cartoon. Would they have looked as funny in 3D? And the cost...I'll bet it was a hundred times faster and cheaper to draw these people than it would have been to create computer models.

2D cartooning has an incredibly rich history.  Some of the best minds who ever worked in popular art  gave us a legacy of gutsy and streetwise artwork that might have stimulated our own creativity for hundreds of years to come. 3D has so far been indifferent to all that.

But maybe I'm being too harsh. Every once in a while you see a moment in a 3D film (above) that gives you reason to hope. "Horton Hears a Who" had more moments like that than any other 3D movie I've seen. It gives me reason to think that in 40 years 3D might catch up to hand-drawn.


Here's a couple of shots (above and below) from George Pal's Puppetoons. These are very crude, and I'm not suggesting we return to that, but they do prove that some type of cartoony 3D can be funny.


Pal's Jasper proves that it's possible to do 3D design that's so incredibly funny that the characters look great even when they're standing still.


I've noticed that cartoony 3D subjects (above) sometimes look funnier in black and white. Why is that? Is it the ultra-retro design or the fact that digital makes black and white looks so sharp and appealing?

PAPER CASTLES

One of the best things about having kids is that you get to get to make cool stuff with them, like paper castles. Most of the ones I and my kids made looked like the one above; not very imaginative really, just a kazillion spires and pennants held together with scotch tape.


It's a good thing that I hadn't seen this picture (above) in those days because if I had, I would have been seduced into making really elaborate castles that I wouldn't have wanted to see smashed. Smashing dad's precious castle is just about the most fun thing a kid can do. It could be that a rubber T-Rex smashes it, or a plastic Batman or fighter plane bombs it...there are lots of ways a kid will demolish it, but demolish it they will, probably within 15 minutes after it's built.


Look at that sucker (above)...that guy really put a lot of work into it! He must have been a bachelor!


Here's a nice one (above) that looks a slum dwelling on the edge of one of Dr. Seuss's cities.


Boy, you add color to these things (above) and they look great!


It's a bit off-topic but I couldn't help putting up this picture (above) of a tower built with empty cardboard boxes. If I did this and my kid destroyed it, Armageddon would ensue.


I once saw a built-up paper sculpture of St. Basil's cathedral, for my money one of the most beautiful buildings on the planet. The sculpture was made from one of those craft store books where you cut out a zillion tiny parts and glue them together. I don't know who buys those kits. Only prisoners have the time to make those things, and they're not allowed to have scissors.

CARTOONISTS AS MARTIAL ARTS SUPERSTARS

The other night I saw the latest Ultimate Fighting bout at John's place, and it was beyond great! The graphics and sound were the best I'd seen in any sports event, ever. The announcers whipped the audience into a frenzy, searchlights scanned the fans going wild in the dark, the titles were written in fire and slid in with F-14 sound effects, the biographies perfectly set up the human dimension, and the girls who held up the information cards were knock-outs...all in all, a perfect presentation! Oh yes, the fights themselves were terrific! What a night!

On the way home I found myself wishing that animation could be presented like that. Why can't we generate that kind of excitement? I mean the "Iron Man" show does it with cooks, why can't we do it with artists?



I can envision a TV show with two competing 2-D animators emerging one at a time through corridors in the crowd. Each is surrounded with three surly assistant animators who protect their animator captain from the fans. In the ring the two artists are brought together, nose to nose, facing each other down. Both may have glasses and weigh 98 lbs, but they're all hyped up on adrenalin and it looks like they'd like to kill each other. The announcer gives us the specs on each, tells us how it's a grudge match. Filmed biographies show them each confidently predicting the demise of the other.



The announcers whip the audience into a frenzy then the animators are separated and, along with their assistant animators, are led to desks at opposite ends of the platform. Each desk has a video camera over the desk and a foot pedal to click off frames. A hush falls over the audience as a beautiful girl in a thong bikini reaches into a bowl and chooses a story line. Both animators will do a 20 second film, which must use the story chosen by the girl. Both will do the same story!



The story is announced! Maybe it's something like: "A guy and a girl attempt to kiss, but their noses get in the way." The clock is started. The captains take a minute to brainstorm  with their crew. When they're ready the animator quickly does the rough character designs and starts working so he can hand out to the assistants. No time to color, no time to redo: it'll be a pencil test done with heavy, black pencil!




The audience cheers for their favorite. An overhead video screen shows the artists' progress. More biographical clips and commentary fill up the slow spots. Not making the deadline is unthinkable. The question is, how good will it be? How funny will it be? It's gotta be funny! The artists work at a furious pace. The audience cheers their favorite and attempts to harass and distract the other!



Finally the films are finished and fast, crude, home-made SFX and canned music are quickly layered in. The film is run for the audience and the judges, and the winner chosen. The panting, sweating winner is awarded a gold belt and the opportunity to date one of the card girls. The loser drags his sorry butt out of the arena, humiliated and forever marked as a beaten man.

Girls: Is there a girl version of this?