I love family portraits, especially those of evil, deceased matriarchs or patriarchs who continue to inspire fear in the family they left behind.
Of particular interest are the ones who left a will that constrains the family to live in a gloomy, joyless old house for the rest of their lives.
Maybe their portraits contain the clues needed to discover a hidden treasure, buried somewhere in the house.
Poor Aunt Matilda: she greedily stared at her father's portrait for years, hoping to discover its secret. Some say that's how she acquired her father's deviant personality. Others say she went mad.
Hmmmm. I wonder what Matilda would have thought of Sadie Hawkins...no wait, I said I'd change the subject.