MY THANKSGIVING DINNER (PART I)

I thought I'd share the photos I took last year at my older brother Billy's house. That's his trailer (above), the white one with the red stripe. I used to live with Billy when I was a kid. How I used to look forward to Thanksgiving dinner when the whole extended family would converge on this trailer for a feast they talked about all year! They're still doing it, and here's how it went last time.

It began with a with a long car trip and a walk to Billy's front door...

From behind a bush....

COUSIN LESTER: "PSSST! Cousin Eddie! Over here!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Lester! Harlan! Jackson! How come you're hiding out here? Why aren't you inside!??"

MY COUSINS: "Aw, Grandma kicked us out again. You know how she gets.  But she likes you, Eddie. How 'bout puttin' in a good word for us?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Gee, it would suck to spend Thanksgiving in a bush. I'll talk to her."

AT THE FRONT DOOR:

MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS: (squeals of delight, then...)  "Uncle Eddie's here! Dad! Dad! Uncle Eddie's here!!!!"

MY BROTHER BILLY: "Eddie! Eddie! Good to see you, man!"

BROTHER BILLY: "Look at that! I can still lift you!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Gee Billy, everything is just the way I remember it!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "You always did have a knack for decorating!"

UNCLE EDDIE: (Gasp!) It's Poochie!!! How are ya Poochie, ol' boy!?? Remember me, Eddie?"

POOCHIE (TOO OLD TO REMEMBER ANYTHING): "Woof???"

AUNT MATILDA: "Good ta see ya, Eddie! I think dinner's ready. Better call everybody."

UNCLE EDDIE: "Dinner's ready, Cousin Linus!"

COUSIN LINUS: "Be right there, Eddie!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Dinner's ready, Grandma!"

GRANDMA: "In a minute! I'm callin' the police to come and nab that no account Lester and his friends!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Jimmy, dinner's re....oh, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt."

BROTHER BILLY: "Come on in, Eddie! Have a seat. You're the guest of honor!"

BUFURD: "What are you starin' at? Geek!"

COUSIN EARL: "Now, now Bufurd. That's not polite."

UNCLE EDDIE (V.O.) (DISCREETLY): "Er, Cousin Alice...Cousin Earl, um... he isn't wearing any...."

COUSIN ALICE: "I know, I know. That's his way."

   

COUSIN ALICE (V.O.): "Earl doesn't need those, Jack. You can put them away."

COUSIN RACHEL: "Can we eat now, pul-leeeezzz!!!????

EVERYONE: (A COLLECTIVE GASP OF AWE AND DELIGHT AS AUNT TILLY BRINGS IN THE MAIN COURSE).

The food is quickly distributed.

BROTHER BILLY: "Ahh, the bounty of the Earth! We're truly blessed!"

CONTINUED IN THE POST BELOW:

MY THANKSGIVING DINNER (PART 2)

The family commences to do some serious chowing down.

None of the pies last very long.

UNCLE EDDIE: "Er....Grandma, are you feeling calm now?"

GRANDMA: "Yeah, I love to watch the family eat on Thanksgiving."

UNCLE EDDIE: "Really? You're completely at ease, at one with the universe?"

GRANDMA: "Sure.  Why do you ask?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Well, I was thinking of poor Cousin Lester and his friends out there in the bushes, and....."

GRANDMA (FURIOUS): "YOU MEAN THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE!!!???"

She grabs a bat and runs outside.

Grandma: "Those good-for-nothings! I'll KILL them! I'll MURDERIZE 'em!"

INSIDE: the dog steals Grandma's food.

ALSO INSIDE, AT THE TABLE:

GRANDPA: "Haw! Go get 'em Grandma! ....Geez, I can't talk with these false teeth getting in the way."

He plops the teeth in his drinking glass.

GRANDPA: "I'll just put them in water for awhile."

Everybody stops eating..

GRANDPA: "What's the matter? Why isn't anybody eating? Aren't you hungry?"

EVERYBODY (TURNING GREEN AT THE SIGHT OF THE TEETH): "All of a sudden we're not so hungry."

GRANDMA'S FRIEND TRUDY: "You're hungry, alright! I'm not gonna let that food go to waste!"

PIMPLETINA: "EEEEEEEWW!!!!! There's a piece of vegetable on my meat! I'm not gonna eat this X%$#X stuff!"

PIMPLETINA: (WAILS)

PIMPLETINA'S MOM: "Listen, young lady! You're gonna eat every bit of that, or else!"

PIMPLETINA: "Or else, WHAT!???" 

Pimpletina socks her mom and her mom socks her back.

The room divides into two angry camps and a food fight breaks out.

Beauregard stands up, attempts to make peace.

BEAUREGARD: "Hey, hey, hey! Let's handle this like civilized human beings!"

Howie slaps a pie into Beauregard's face.

HOWIE: "Shut up, Beauregard!"

The food fight intensified into a full-scale riot.

So that's it. I couldn't snap any pictures after that. All in all it was a great Thanksgiving. Boy, I love that holiday!

BTW: This is a work of fiction and none of the pictures belong to me. All are copyrighted by the original photographers or the subsequent buyers.  

MORE PHOTOSHOP PRACTICE

I thought I'd put up some serial pictures (above), just to see how it's done. Well, now I know. I eyeballed the position of all the pictures,  and laboriously moved each one into place. Is there something I could have done to make it go faster?

MORE FACES TO DRAW (PART ZILLION)

I don't know why, but muzzles fascinate me. It's the first thing I look at when I regard a face. This girl (above) has a protruding muzzle. When that's combined with rounded shapes and full lips as it is here, the effect is one of warmth and friendliness.

For contrast, here's (above) a flat, linear face, also very friendly. Three elements dominate the face: a straight vertical nose, down turned eyes at the corners, and dimples that form a marionette's mouth. All these straight lines are set off by an unusually graceful curve of the jaw and a long neck. This is a very appealing face.

And did I mention the Klimt hair!? Wow!

Here's (above) an interesting face. Can you guess why? Sure, she has a high forehead and a reduced chin, but what else? Well, if you're a muzzle fan like I am, then you noticed that she has minimal cheeks and no dimples, not even the most common ones. I wish I knew how faces like this age. 

The glasses make a great statement.

Where did I get this picture? Somebody deserves credit for digging this up. No comments on this one; it's all too obvious.

BTW: Mark Simonson speculates that these are all guys: Mathew Broderick, Jimmey Kimmel, and Stephen Fry. Simon says the Boderick picture is really Brendon Frazier.

Art technique books are always saying that some people have square heads. If you ever doubted it, then regardez vous!

A fascinating face dominated by the rounded forehead, and big eyes which have prominent lids on both the top and the bottom. Note also the thin hair. I always imagine that thin-haired people are high-strung, but I might be wrong. 

Egad! It's Hermione's hair (above) from the Harry Potter movies! Is it real? That hair looked great on Emma...Emma whatshername from the movie, and everyone was heartbroken when she appeared without it. The two latest Potter movies even gave Hadgrid (spelled right?) a haircut.

What a find (above)! Once again though, I don't what blogger to thank. The muzzle here is minimal. Gee, minimal muzzles are more common than I thought! The small mouth makes for a terrific contrast with the over-the-top, sad, bored, wide eyes. The eyebrows are calligraphic. The hair is perfect.

Aaaargh! In a comment Stephen claims that this is an aristocratic playboy/actor and writer named Brian Howard.

Thank Goodness...a muzzle (above)! The facial features are all bunched up into a tight package which is surrounded by oceans of empty flesh.  Er....is this a guy? Mike says it's Matt Lucas from "Little Britain."

HALLOWEEN 2010: HOW WAS IT?

It was a pretty good year, considering that everyone was bummed out by the economic crisis. Even fashion magazines had Halloween issues (above).

I collected plenty of good Halloween pictures on the net, but I forgot to label some of them. Where did I get this (above) from, and who did it!?

There were some really imaginative outdoor displays (above) this year.

It's amazing what people will put on their lawns (above)!

Since we're on the subject of outrageous Halloween efforts, I wonder if Glendale artist Peter Montgomery ever built that Jules Verne machine in his driveway? He went on the internet to ask for money for it.

This year saw zillions of gross pumpkin displays (above).

I'm wondering if Tim Burton and ray Bradbury have made Halloween Trees (above) a permanent holiday fixture. I saw a lot of Halloween trees this year. Some  people have beautiful trees on their lawns and simply hang pumpkins on them...

...others set up Halloween trees inside their houses. Mostly the indoor trees are dried up twigs painted black. People either buy ornaments or hang homemade stuff from them: little poison bottles, paper witches, Godzillas, etc.

The "Blair Witch" movie (above) continued to influence reality TV this year. A zombie mini-series debuted, but I missed it.

Zombies (above) are still a big item at Halloween time.

Expensive rubber masks took a hit this year; nobody could afford them! I saw lots of cheap masks, though, some of them good. It looks like the last of the old vintage masks (the two pictures above) have finally been put out to pasture. They lingered on for years in updated versions, but I haven't seen any this time around.

I saw some vaguely similar ones, though. How do you like this one (above)? It's the love child of the famous Ernie Kovacs caveman mask with a Schnauzer. 

I stumbled on a couple of Halloween blogs which featured photos of abandoned amusement parks (above).  

Gee, it kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it? Everything we know and love will eventually end up like this park (above). 

So that was Halloween, 2010! The holiday is alive and well, at least in my part of the world.