RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT ANIMATION WALKS

Sometimes a funny story begins with a doodle of a funny character. You like how the character looks and you just have to see what would happen if you gave him a walk.  In the act of doing the walk you see unexpected things that you like, and they redefine the character. When you have a funny character who can do a funny walk you almost can't help but think of funny situations that would justify that walk. Before you know it you have a funny story.

I don't know what this woman (above) was doing in real life, but the pose suggests a  funny walk where the girl leans way back and walks with her hands on her hips.

NOTE: I wrongly omitted the label that would have identified the source of the really interesting photo above. It's from a site called "photocase.com," and the photographer's username is "erdbeersuehtig." I'll put that info back in.

Leaned back torsos are more common in runs...I guess people are more able to accept the  unrealistic weight distribution that way. 

I like this guy's attitude. He runs with his arms close to his side. He takes big strides but looks up in the air, as if he's on an idealistic quest of some sort.

   

Almost any character's going to look good on top of long, red legs like these (above). Doesn't seeing this just make you want to draw?

Let me digress to make the point that tall people are underrepresented in animation. When they're used at all, they're just dim-witted sidekicks for some short guy. Maybe tall people will rebel and then we'll have lots of tall heroes with short, dullard sidekicks. Of course we'd have to have vertical TV sets.

This pose (above) suggests a character who doesn't look where he's running. Open manholes, curbs, and tree trunks are all problems for this man, but he's in too much of a hurry to do anything about it.

Can you really buy a funny walk clock like this (above)? Where do I sign up?

Above, another collage doodle. How would you describe a walk like this?

Here's (above) a walking vehicle. I like the foreground foot in the photo because it seems to imply that the foot comes down in discreet, floppy stages. First the heel, then the arch area, then the pad beneath the toes, then...one by one...the toes, ending with the big toe.

Sometimes an idea for a walk might begin with an idea for an unusual shoe (above).

This man's shoe (above) makes me imagine a guy lying on his back on the sidewalk with his legs doing the walking and dragging the man behind, The man might read a newspaper while his legs do all the work. Or maybe he  has a laptop on his chest and he's catching up on the latest post on uncleeddiestheorycorner@blogspot.com.

THE ART AND SCIENCE OF SEDUCTION

Sorry ladies! This post is for men only.  Are you alone, men? Is the door to your computer room locked?   Good. Then we can commence.

Well, for starters you'll have to spring for a nice restaurant (above).

You'll want something romantic: candlelight, wine, linen, high prices...and oh yes, strolling violinists...they're a must for atmosphere.

If you're lucky they'll spend all their time at other tables. You have a mission to accomplish, and for that you need to reduce everything else to background.

Up til now you've engaged in idle chit chat, but now the time has come to get serious. When your girl isn't looking, extend your cuff where you've written the secret dialogue I've prepared for you on this blog. Read it one final time to firm it in your memory, then retract it. Don't be scared. Trust me, this dialogue is foolproof, and it'll work even if you flub it. All women, with no exception, are vulnerable to this sort of thing.

At the right moment hold her hand, look into her eyes, and with all the earnestness you can muster, say  the following without deviating from a single word....

YOU: "You know, I have a fantasy about you. Do you want to hear it?

[She says she does]

YOU: "I'm waiting for you in your living room. It's night and the room is dark except for the coals of a dying fire that smoulders in the fireplace. You emerge from the back wearing only a towel. Your inky black hair is shiny with water from the bath, fingercombed back."

[She makes a joke of it, but you continue in earnest, slowly and deliberately.]

YOU: "I want to drown myself in your taste, in your scent, in the feel of your skin. I want you to come to me, and you're unable to stop yourself."

[At this point, you need to...intensify. Never lose eye contact. If you have it in you, deliver "The Look."]

YOU: "In my dream all my focus is on you. I sense that a border has been crossed, and we both know it. I tell you to not to think about reason and logic. Don't think about what's proper or improper..."

[Now lean in.]

YOU: "...just clasp my cheeks between you palms. I tell you that I want to feel the heat of your hands race through my body from my face to my toes. I want to feel the fever of the night! I want to haul you over to me and slant my mouth over yours in a kiss."

[She's struggling to make a joke of what you're saying, but she can't. She's mesmerized.]

YOU (V.O.): "Resist if you think you can, but I know you can't, because there's a longing in you that you can't deny."

[At this point the whole restaurant is eavesdropping. People at other tables are ignoring their food, carried away with what you're saying.]

   YOU: "I tell you to lean a little closer....I want you to take my full kiss."

 YOU: "You stand on your toes and wind your arms around my neck."

YOU: "You burrow your fingers into...the damp hair...on the back....of my.....neck. And then...and then.........."

BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Her world explodes! Her brain careens around the inside of her skull!!!!!!!!!]

[She upturns the table and leaps across the empty space, smothering you with kisses while tearing at your clothes! The whole restaurant erupts in applause!]

After that...after that......well, it's time to end the post.


BTW: Sorry there's no attribution for the terrific animation at the top. I can't remember where I pulled it from!

NEW TRENDS IN ARCHITECTURE

Reading architect Sarah Susanka's "Creating the Not So Big House" has opened my eyes to what's happening in home architecture now. According to the author the new trend is to customize everything.

 A client that likes to cook might have the kitchen as the central living space (above) and not the living room. In fact, the kitchen might be at the front of the house, with the front door opening directly into it. In the same way any other previously neglected feature can be emphasized and expanded: the homes office or the rec room or even the consevatory.

Here's (above) a home that subordinates everything to...are you ready for this?...the bedrooms! When you enter the house through the front door, this (above) is what you see...the second floor bedroom corridor leading to the over-sized master bedroom in the back. 

Here's the same house, with the same corridor, showing the view of the front door. Everything inside is subordinated to the bedrooms. 

I like this customizing notion, though if the idea is too esoteric the owner might have trouble selling the house. 

This (above) isn't one of Susanka's pictures. I digress to say that I can't help wondering how far this idea of customized houses will go. To living room swimming pools (above)? To indoor stables for horses? 

Anyway, back to Susanka: as I mentioned in a previous post she mixes good ideas with bad ideas. Here (above) she endorses the notion of the arid reading alcove. Geez, that's an ugly space! I hope she doesn't buy into the belief of some architects that the living room is dead. Living rooms are great when they're designed to be used. I use mine constantly.

BTW, catch those ugly white cabinets! Brutalist living room cabinets are all the rage now, and so are freestanding bedroom wardrobes. Whatever happened to closets? Who starts these silly trends?  

Susanka doesn't mention vertical interior gardens which are more and more in evidence these days. I haven't been able to find good examples on the internet, but they exist, if only in magazines. 

 I wonder if indoor ceiling gardens (above) will ever become practical?  They seem to work in restaurants, but those are probably plastic. 

I'm glad that conservatories (above) are making a comeback. They don't cost much to make and they don't have to be enormous like the kind you see in films about English manor houses. They can be tiny alcoves off the kitchen like the one above.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

I'm also glad that architects like Susanka still believe that the demarcation between inside and outside should be gradual and blurred, and not abrupt like it is in most houses. In the picture above (not Susanka's) the front door is somewhere to the right. You have to pass under a tunnel of trellised plants on the side of the house to get to it. I like that.

I'll end by reiterating that Susanka's books are worth taking a look at even if you find fault with some of her examples. She writes to be understood, which is a rarity in her field, and her enthusiasm is infectious.

WHY SOME WOMEN SHOULDN'T WEAR JEANS

What do I think most women should wear on casual, every day, non-work occasions? The answer (above) is simple: plain, ordinary house dresses. They look great!

Not so plain ones (above) are okay too, the important thing is simplicity and artfulness. Co-ordinating different tops and bottoms is risky. A dress consisting of a single pattern just works.

Of course you need tasteful design, which is surprisingly common in house dresses, and surprisingly uncommon in other womens wear. Other dresses often emphasize sex which is okay when it works, but how often is that?  The dress above is sexy only in the sense that it communicates the intention of the wearer to be thought of that way, but it doesn't have anything else going for it. It's single focus makes the wearer seem shallow.

 I know what you're thinking: why should women wear dresses at all? Why not slacks or jeans? The answer is that they're terrific, especially for younger girls, but what about the average woman?  Does the 25 year-old above look that great in jeans? Not really. Maybe jeans are oversold.

The idea that jeans are casual wear that you can just slip on and automatically look good in is a myth. Lots of jeans look awkward (above) and don't work with average tops. You can fill a closet with pants that disappoint.

The truth is that about half of all women (above) aren't suited for jeans. You need to be close to your ideal weight to look good in them. House dresses are better at hiding what the average woman needs to hide.

I'll end with a question: why do women shop so much? Why all the money spent on clothes?  I don't know the answer, but maybe it's because they need to shop continuously just to find a few things that actually work. Most non-housedresses don't work, and the women who buy them are always suffering buyers remorse and having to shop again. Women are paying the price for having an unrealistic idea about what makes them look good.

THE "NOT SO BIG HOUSE" (REVISED)

Here's (above) an interesting book: Susan Susanka's "Creating the Not So Big House." Actually, the kind of houses she's talking about aren't small, they're just not as big as most in their price range. She believes space is wasted in most new homes and people would be happier with a more compact and complex design for the same price. 

The smaller and better-designed house would feel larger than it is. 

As a case in point, here's part of a living room designed by Susanka herself. It's a bit crowded, but I like it. It feels spacious because it affords a tantalizing glimpse into other rooms, and I love the idea of wrapping a staircase around a fireplace.

A word about fireplaces: they're very controversial these days. They're inefficient at heating but they're a powerful symbol and a home just doesn't seem like a home without one. Modern architects often make them freestanding, allowing for access to other rooms on their sides.

Here's a common variation of the freestanding fireplace (not by Susanka). The fireplace is against an interior wall and visual access to rooms on either side is still maintained. It works fine. I wonder why anyone ever put a fireplace against an exterior wall. Half the heat is lost that way.

Susanka calls our attention to this "away room" (above) by architect Bernie Baker. The room is only the size of a small bedroom and it serves as a study or a temporary guest room that's visually connected to the living room and kitchen.

Sometimes an architect is given the task of remodeling an already existing house or room. My guess is that the original design of this workspace (above) was too dark for Susanka's client. I imagine the client thought she'd take out the tiny windows shown above and put in larger ones.

Instead Susanka wisely left the original space alone and installed large windows (above) over another part of the desk. The contrast between the two types of windows must have livened up the space considerably.

This, believe it or not, is simply the entrance to a raised, first floor bathroom. The sink is to the left and the rest is behind a door to the right. I love the beckoning, mysterious window above the towel rack.

This Craftsman-influenced design reminds me how much I prefer American wooden  architecture to what Europeans were turning out after 1920. Bauhaus has to be the most overrated architectural movement in history. Who wants to live in a concrete house that looks like a factory? That's a dumb idea. Americans combined German, English and Japanese influences to create our own version of cozy, comfortable, and meaningful.



Unfortunately Susanka misses as often as she hits. This Libertyville house she designed (above) is full of design flaws. The kitchen lacks character and the master bedroom is awkward and unimaginative.

And the exterior (above)...Ouch! About that, the less said the better. To be fair the side of the house is plain because it'll face another house, but even so..... Oh, well, the book is still worth having for the good parts, and the philosophy expressed there is solid, even if the author applies it unevenly.

WHAT IF HUMANS BEHAVED LIKE ANIMALS?

The other night I saw a nature documentary at John's house. It was about life in the ocean, how predation was a constant and how creatures were very good at hiding themselves and setting traps for their neighbors. It got me to thinking....what if human beings were like that? What if we lived the way sea creatures do?

In such a world we would still have nice suburban houses and cars, but every morning we would go out looking for prey to eat, and that prey would include other humans. On the street we'd cruise around looking for people and pets to eat, all the while avoiding people who'd eat us.

 By morning's end there'd be quite a few bodies strewn about. No matter. Through long practice communities would become very efficient at cleaning up.

By afternoon everything would be nice and tidy and we'd all be satiated and pose no threat to each other. We'd be fit to work at the office or even help a little old lady cross the street (above).

Night, however, would mark a return to predation. That's because some humans would be night hunters. At night families would lock the doors and pull the shades down to make it appear that nobody was home. They'd be careful to speak in hushed tones and watch TV with the sound low...but that wouldn't always fool the bad guys.

In the morning it would be pretty clear which homes had a bad night.

Apart from food one of our biggest concerns would be finding a mate. Human males would dress colorfully to attract females (above) and have exaggerated red genitalia to make a good show of it. If another male challenged us, we'd fight, sometimes to the death.

Everybody would have big families in the hope that a small number of children would survive to become adults, Of course they wouldn't have even the surviving kids for more than a few years. Kids would leave the house at a fairly early age lest the hungry parents begin to think of them as prey.

Interesting, huh?