INTERESTING MEN'S FACES

Here's a picture by Hans Namuth called "Armed Farmer." Where does this picture come from? The Spanish Civil War? Argentina? Why is the farmer armed? He doesn't look like he's worried about anything.

Here's one by Fracois Kollar called, "Railway Worker." The guy's head reminds me of a parrot's for some reason, but that doesn't detract from the drama. Click to enlarge. 

Guys with weak chins like myself are full of envy for men with heroic chins like this one (above). If I had a chin like that I'd wear a black body suit and ski mask with just one big hole for the chin and none for anything else. It's by Edward Weston. 

A streamlined head (above) that looks like the owner is facing the wind all the time, even if he isn't. It's another Weston.

Yet another Weston (above). This man just has to be a mad scientist. I can imagine this guy delivering Lugosi's lines from the "Ed Wood" movie, the lines where he threatens humanity with a race of atomic supermen who "...vill conquer da VERLD!"

Last but not least (above), Edward Sherriff Curtis's "Ankara Man." Click to enlarge. Once again we see an Indian portrait where the nose isn't long like the cartoon caricatures. Geronimo had a long nose and, since his portrait was the most reproduced, all Indians were believed to have long noses. I don't think most of them did.

This man is strikingly handsome.  The picture is from 1905, I think.

That's all the pictures I have. While I'm here I thought I'd say a word about "Love Nerds," which I just removed. I asked a few people about it, and they said they didn't post their pictures there because they were too fat, and didn't want anyone to see them that way. Son of a Gun! It seems that this site attracts a lot of fat people who want to pass themselves off as thin...like me! Geez, I should put up Jenny Craig ads and make a couple of bucks!

THE TWO LADIES' GROUPS

Hotel Porter (V.O.): "Ladies, ladies! I have an announcement!"

Porter (cont): "The hotel regrets that there will be a delay due to overbooking. I'm afraid that it'll be necessary for members of the two clubs here to share rooms with each other."

Porter (V.O.) (cont): "That means the professional sniffers of "The Nasal Sensitivity Club of America" will have to share rooms with..."

"...'The Black Widows,' also known as 'The American Society of Husband Dispatchers.' "

Porter: "Ladies, we deeply regret the inconvenience! Just wait in the lobby on the first floor, and we'll assign rooms just as fast as we can!"

Meanwhile, up on the top floor...



Mildred: "Beulah, that food we had for lunch is giving me gas. What'll I do?"

Beulah: "Just let her rip! We're on the top floor, so nobody'll know, and I'm going to take a nap, so it won't bother me!"

Mildred: "Well, um...OK...I guess it's alright if it won't bother anybody. Here goes....BRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP!!!!!

[Down on the first floor] Violet: "Yikes! Ladies, did you smell that!?"

Daisy: "Oh, Man! I certainly did! It's disgusting! It's of human origin, the usual sulphur and rotten egg smell with a hint of dead skunk and maybe a tad...yes, a tad of peppermint."


Magnolia: "W-What? I don't smell anything."

Gladiola: "Oh it's there all right! I smell it too! Definitely peppermints in there...Altoids, I think!"

Marigold: Maybe we should take care of the offender...permanently, I mean. Let The Black Widows handle this.

[On the top floor again] Beulah: "Mildred, I can't get to sleep! I ate the same food you did! Watch out, here it comes....BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

[On the first floor] Tulip: "Oh my Gosh! There it goes again!"

Lavinia: "Don't worry Ladies, I mixed cyanide in some coffee that was sitting here. We'll just find out who let wind and offer the person a friendly cup. End of problem!"

Iris: "You mixed it in my coffee, you twit, and I drank it!"

Petunia: "Well, that's one less sniffer to worry about!"

Iris: " 'One less sniffer!?' I'll show you!' "

Buttercup: "No, I'll show YOU!!!!"

Gladiola: "No, we'll show YOU!!!!"

All the club women get into a frantic shouting match and handbag fight. The hotel lobby is a scene of horrific devastation.

Unwary Hotel Guest: "Um...er, sorry to interrupt, Ladies. I'm lost. Do you know where the 'Centipede Strokers of America' are meeting?"

GOOD AND BAD SURREALISM

Surrealism was a powerful invention, which proved to be useful not only in painting but also in photography (above), music, film and novels. The problem with the technique is that it's usually considered to be beyond criticism. A lot of bad surrealism ( I don't mean the photo above),  gets by because no one knows how to logically criticize something that's supposed to be beyond logic. I say "supposed to be," because it seems to me that the best surrealism does mean something on some level.

Take Dali's "The Persistence of Memory" (above), for example. I don't see anything having to do with memory in the picture, but I do see a world where time has been slowed down and been rendered meaningless.  The dead tree, arid plain, and stagnant ocean tell us that such a world would be a bleak sort of Hell where nothing interesting or significant ever happens. It's like the Earth would be if it survived to see the energy-deprived, heat death of the universe. It's a useful metaphor when you're vegetating in a waiting room or looking back on a life of quiet desperation.

But not every kind of surrealism has meaning. The picture above is simply a collection of random images placed on a bleak, Daliesque-type plain. It heightens our awareness of how weird the world is, but not much else. The artist didn't have an idea to communicate.

Here (above) the artist is communicating, though what he's saying is open to interpretation. For me it says The dynamic world of heavy industry is present in some sense, even in a quiet and sedate room like the one above. It's a reminder that worlds can intersect, that dual realities can exist, that one world can suddenly and violently impose itself on another.  

Here's (above) another one where the artist has nothing to say. He attempts to remind us that man is capable of mathematical and abstract thought, but says we don't produce anything worth hearing about. The message is anesthetizing rather than interesting. This is the kind of arid, humorless surrealism you used to see on newspaper editorial pages. 

More meaningless surrealism (above). The images exist because the artist was free-associating and didn't know what else to say. 

Back to meaning again. This is Dali's "Daddy Longlegs" picture (above) where the artist posits a world of absurdity. Far from being arid and stagnate, this one posits frantic but meaningless activity. It's all about futility; beautiful, marvelous futility.  Once again, it's a great metaphor.

This (above) is one of the worst surrealist pictures I've ever seen. It has no meaning whatsoever. Even surrealist pictures have to have meaning. 

I don't mean to say that surrealism always has to contain serious messages. Some of my favorite examples are in ads that are just plain funny, like the parody of Dali above. Dali's bleak view of the world was always deliberately undermined by his sense of humor and drama. He seems to refute his own notion of absurdity by putting us in the judge's stand where we can laugh at the meaninglessness of it all. 

My favorite kind of surrealism is the kind (above) that makes fun of surrealism. Surreal commercials that sell things like peas and stockings are hilarious. They seem to say, "The world is meaningless, and you may as well commit suicide, but while you're meditating on that, how about a nice, cold glass of Schlitz beer?"

Dali's imagery is so funny that it's hard to resist parodying it, as Volkswagen did here (above). It's a very skilled picture, which isn't surprising because  you have to have skill in order to joke about Dali. That's because his own pictures are so obviously the product of old master technique and funny, high-fashion sophistication. His message is a dual one: The world is both meaningless and full of meaning. Striving is ultimately meaningless but strive we must, because we are striving creatures who cannot be happy unless we are constantly trying to improve ourselves.

SOME FUNNY CLASSIC PHOTOGRAPHS

Or maybe "funny" isn't the right word. Whatever you call them, there's definitely something off center about these fashion photos from the 30s through the 50s. What do you think of the crutch photo above?

Girls running through surreal landscapes in their slips (above) were a staple of 30s fashion magazines.

Cocteau (above) was a favorite subject of photographers and fully half the pictures of the man show him sitting on his own drawings.  I'm ashamed to admit that no photographer's ever asked me to sit on my drawings, a sure sign that I'm small potatoes in the art world. 

Famous portrait photographer Cecil Beaton was accused by his enemies of being bourgeois because he so frequently posed his models in ornate trappings (above).  "Bourgeois" is a meaningless insult in classless America, but it's a crushing invective in Europe.

Boy, Cocteau (above) could sure design book covers!

So could Beaton (above). He designed the cover and the clothes.

Was Beaton gay, you ask? I don't know. Perhaps there's a clue in the design of his real-life apartment, shown above. 

 



Beaton (above) loved to have his subjects clutch skulls and snuggle up to sculpture.

Horst was Beaton's competition. No skulls for Horst. His models showed their class and their sense of the futuristic by always hugging the side of the frame.

Horst was terrific at still-lifes (above). Here's a flower, a cup, and a strainer, all menaced by a threatening toothpaste tube.

No toothpaste tubes the day Horst took this (above) one. 

No doubt about it, women (above) will have to go back to wearing hats again. Hats with big, gaping holes would be nice, as would fake stuffed bird hats.  Fake furs showing the whole animal, paws, head and all, will also have to make a comeback.

Heeheeeheeeheeeheeeheee!

ANNOUNCEMENT: I'm going to take the "Love Nerds" site down in a week or so. I just didn't get a big enough response to keep it running. If you posted something and that's your only copy, then you might want to dupe it before I take it down.