Thursday, October 20, 2011

THE BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER?


It may also be the ugliest. Where on Earth did that guy get a suit like that? And what's it made of? Rubber? Vinyl? It doesn't look very comfortable. It reminds me of the tar ball Moe was trapped in when he floated up to the top of a barn in one of The Three Stooges films.



Thanks to a much appreciated comment from Teki, I now know where these suits come from: a company called Squeak Latex. Check out squeaklatex.com and the YouTube video above.



Here's (above) the Squeak Latex "Blueberry Suit." Amazing!



Probably everybody here has seen this already, but in case you haven't...this is one of the new line of realistic masks put out by Rusty Slussen's SPFX company. The cost? $810, and worth every penny. A bank robber recently robbed five banks with an afroamerican variant of this! Thanks to Patrick Micheal for telling me about it!

There are much better views of the mask on other YouTube videos, but this one shows how quickly the mask comes off, and it's only 20 seconds long.


Man, every year plastic masks look more appealing to me. They're more imaginative than most rubber masks, and they're a heck of a lot cheaper. The problem is that the Golden Age of this sort of thing may already have passed.

I'll have to pay a visit to my local Goth supply store and see what's on the walls this year. I don't think "The Spirit" stores sell these. I wonder why?


Wow! A nifty disguise (above) that you can put into a brief case or a back pack!

A cool wooden mask (above)...from Japan, according to a commenter!


The best thing about kid costumes in a box was always the plastic mask. Nowadays you can buy masks like that without buying the costume. At last! Reason has prevailed!


First dog costumes, now baby costumes like the one above. What next? 


So THAT'S how you make a spider costume (above)! Okay, I get it now!


Anime-style robots (above) look great, if you don't mind walking on stilts.



I don't know about you, but I like to be read to by naked girls. It's this Sunday!




Wednesday, October 19, 2011

STEVE MAKES SHISH KEBAB (PART III) (FINAL)

JOJO: "Well, here it is, all 367 pounds of it!"


HUNGRY GUESTS: "ME FIRST! NO, ME! GIVE IT HERE!!"


STEVE: "WAIT!!!!! Protocol demands that one who is virtuous and trustworthy sample the meal first so the gods of the dinner table will be satisfied that we gave it our best shot. I nominate Auralynn!"

HUNGRY GUEST: "Er...okay! (Gulp!)"


Auralynn takes a bite. The room goes silent as she carefully chews and swallows. She pauses...almost speaks...then pauses again........then, after the deepest reflection...

AURALYNN: "Yes, Stephen has produced a fine meal."

RELIEVED GUEST: "Thank Heaven! LET'S EAT!"


That did it! Everybody lays into the food.

CHOMP! EAT! RIP! TEAR! CRUNCH! 


CHOMP! BITE! CHEW! CHOMP! GRAGGLE!


RIP! TEAR! CRUNCH! BITE! CHEW! MANGLE!




 CHEW! SNARSH! BITE!!!




CRUNCH! TEAR! RIP!




MUNCH! BITE! RIP!




SHRUMP! BITE! CRUNCH!


SLASH! BITE! MUNCH!!!




LATER....

ALL: (COLLECTIVE GROAN!)


They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon.
- - - Edward Lear



BTW: That great picture of Steve holding the kebabs close to his face in Part I was taken by Auralynn.


 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

STEVE MAKES SHISH KEBAB (PART II)

INT. STEVE'S KITCHEN:

STEVE: "I already put together the kebabs. Lots of good marinated chicken breasts on 'em. I'll show you in a minute. Right now we're going to make the side dishes: zucchini, cucumbers, eggplant and corn.  We slice them lengthwise then give them a nice rub with olive oil, garlic, pepper, and fresh red basil."

EDDIE: "Are you really going to use that much garlic?"

STEVE: "Yes, absolutely! Listen, you can never have too much garlic! That makes everything taste good! You'd eat your own foot if it was covered with that stuff!"


STEVE: "See, what you want to do with garlic and olive oil is marinate yourself from the inside. It's what W. C. Fields meant when he said that he never drinks water because it makes the insides rusty. Booze on the other hand, makes the insides nice and smooth, at least that's what Fields believed. That's the way I feel about garlic and oil."


AURALYNN: "Stephen, What is that brown, mushy...stuff?"


STEVE: "That goo? That's marinated ground chicken from the Armenian market! The regular chicken is on the kebabs. The ground chicken is something different. I thought I'd give it a try!

Oh yes, I put some Gazpacho on the top of it! That's a kind of homemade vegetable soup that you normally eat cold. I had some left over in the refrigerator, so I thought I'd pour some on. I like to experiment!"

EDDIE: "I thought ground meat was supposed to look like worms."

STEVE: "It usually does, but the marinade made it lose it's shape. Don't worry...that probably won't affect the taste! Anyway, here's the kebabs and the wrapped-in-foil side dishes, all ready to cook! Nice, huh?"


EXT. STEVE'S BACKYARD:

STEVE: "Okay, here's the meat on the barbecue. I grill it directly over the two center flames for a short time to sear it. That'll create a skin that'll lock in the juices."


STEVE: Note the two pans of water. That's to keep the food moist when we put the cover down and barbecue. Today I'm only using water, but normally I'd use chicken broth, orange juice, wine, or even beef or chicken stock. I use water this time because the Armenian marinated chicken is already perfect the way it is, and doesn't need flavor enhancements."
  

EDDIE: "Don't the words 'grilling' and 'barbecue' mean the same thing?"

STEVE: "No way! Grilling means the meat is directly over a flame. Barbecuing means the meat is cooked by indirect, radiant heat. I'm about to stop grilling and begin barbecuing now. I'll turn off the middle burners and turn on the side ones. Then I'll put the cover down.

This is the stage where most of the cooking takes place. It'll take a while, and when it's almost done I'll pop up the hood and grill it a short time on the center burners again. That's to sear it again and make sure the juices don't leak out."


EDDIE: "Any other theories?"

STEVE:  "Nope. It's all pretty simple, really. You combine stinky stuff (aromatics like fresh basil, ginger, and garlic), dead stuff (meat), liquids (chicken broth, beer, wine, beef stock), grease (olive oil), and fire (from a barbecue). Do that and you can't go wrong!"

EDDIE: Okay, those are the final words from the man himself! In the interest of objectivity I'll do one more post where Auralynn, JoJo, Alex, Steve and I sample what Steve has wrought, and judge him. Don't miss it!"

Saturday, October 15, 2011

STEVE MAKES SHISH KEBAB (PART I)


I thought I'd do an occasional guest spot where friends who cook show us how they make their favorite dishes. I'll start with Steve Worth who makes an outstanding barbecued Shish Kebab, and declares that he'll reveal all his secrets here.



INT. STEVE'S CAR:

STEVE (VO): "Fresh ingredients are important, Eddie, and since we're doing Shish Kebab, what better place to go than the local Armenian market?"


STEVE: "Um...I wouldn't take pictures in there. They don't like it."

EDDIE (VO): "Right. Got it. Trust me. No pictures!"


INT. MARKET:

EDDIE (TO HIMSELF): "Weeell...maybe just one. It's so beautiful in here." 

EDDIE (VO): Oooohh, look at that label! I gotta get a picture of that! Geez, some of this caviar goes for $130 a can!"


EDDIE (VO): 
Man, look at those cool vodka labels! 'Gotta get a picture of those!"


EDDIE (VO): "And those sheep eyeballs! Yuck! That gets a picture!"


EDDIE (VO): "Tongues! Do people really eat those (CAMERA CLICK)?"


EDDIE (VO): "Holy Mackerel!!! It's a framed photo of the owner! 'Gotta have a picture of that!"


STORE OWNER: "Hey, hey, hey! Why you take picture? Let me see camera!"


EDDIE: "Uh, Steve...maybe it's time to pay for everything."


OLD GYPSY WOMAN (V.O.): "Gasp!"


LITTLE KID: "GASP!!!!"


OLD GYPSY WOMAN: "The Double Circle! The SYMBOL FOR THE EVIL EYE!!!"

PRIESTS: "Did you say The Evil Eye!?"


SHOCKED CUSTOMER: "The Evil EYE!"

WOMAN: "THE FREAKIN' EVIL EYE!!!!!!!?????"


Panic! Mothers grab their children and run for the exit.






EVERYBODY IN THE STORE: "Evil eye! Evil Eye! EVIL EYE!!!!!"


STEVE (VO): "I'll pay next time!"


LATER AT STEVE'S HOUSE:

IN ATTENDANCE: STEVE, AURALYNN, JO JO AND ALEX.

STEVE: "Okay, we'll get started on the Shish Kebab!"


STEVE: "Now, the first thing you need to know is..."

EDDIE: "STEVE, WAIT!!!! There's not enough room here! We'll cover your recipe  in the next installment, entitled:

"STEVE MAKES SHISH KEBAB (PART II)"