A FRENCH PHILOSOPHY GIRL

INT. ANTEROOM OF OFFICE RESTROOM, PARIS: 

JEAN PIERRE: "Hey in there! Other people need to use the facility, too!"

CHANTALLE: "Sorry. Somebody left a magazine in there, and it had an article about Uncle Eddie. I just had to read it."

JEAN PIERRE: "Uncle Eddie? The internet guy? Why read about him?"

CHANTALLE: "Why read about......??? You must be kidding!"

CHANTALLE: "Gasp! Oh, I get it. You're jealous!"

JEAN PIERRE: "Why would I be jealous? He has a nose like a pickle. Besides, he's John K's toady. Everybody knows that."

CHANTALLE: "Uncle Eddie's nobody's toady. He does Theory Corner and Theory Corner sponsors The Philosophy Girls."

CHANTALLE: "I'm thinking about trying out for the Philosophy Girls.  They travel all around the world, arguing and persuading in the service of truth and wisdom. Only the top 15% of applicants are accepted."

JEAN PIERRE: "Well that's all well and good, but I'm a member of...(Ahem!)... the...um... Philosophy Boys. It's an even more elite group. Only the top 5% are accepted."

CHANTALLE: "Really? What do they do?"

JEAN PIERRE: "Do? They...er...wear the coveted Philosophy Boys blue blazer, of course. We never go anywhere without it."

CHANTALLE: "Hehe! Well, if you never go anywhere without it, how come you're not wearing it now?"

JEAN PIERRE: "Er...it's in the next room. Stay here and I'll bring it in."

OUTSIDE, ON THE STREET: 

JEAN PIERRE: "Quick! Anybody have a blue blazer to sell!? You Sir, would you like to sell y...Madame, would you....."

***************

YIKES!

Yikes!!!! I spent so much time with comments on the last post that I'm too tired to write a new one tonight. I'll try to post again late Saturday night.

A POPEYE CARTOON THAT MISFIRES

If you're one of those people who gets mad at internet swipes then you're going to hate me, because all of the Popeye visuals here were swiped from Michael Sporn's blog, the entry dated 5/23/12.

http://www.michaelspornanimation.com/splog/

They're storyboard drawings from a Paramount cartoon called "Barking Dogs Don't Bite." You can find a video of it somewhere below. I'm putting all this up because the story doesn't work, and I thought it would be fun to talk about why.

It's a pretty simple story. Olive Oyl leans on Popeye to walk her dainty little French Poodle and Popeye reluctantly gives in. Of course Popeye runs into Bluto who's walking his killer bulldog. 

The whole middle of the cartoon is action gags where Bluto beats up Popeye, and the  bulldog beats up the poodle. After a ton of beatings, the good guys manage to score some spinach and massacre the two bullies. Popeye now has new respect for the poodle who, with the aid of spinach, has proved himself a real man. That's the story. 

At first glance the story seems perfect: it’s clear and simple, builds in a logical way, and has lots of opportunities for gags. It’s only when you see the story executed that you realize how flawed it really is.

Compare it to the the best of the black and white Popeyes. They’re full of digressions, and are as much about the funky world that Popeye lives in as they are about Popeye.

In those cartoons Popeye was alternately violent and sentimental and so was the world he lived in. The wonderful, built in contradictions made it difficult to make slick and logical stories, so the studio didn’t even try. They aimed for a logic of the heart rather than a logic of the mind.

On a different point, I’d hate to be an animator working on a slick and logical comedy. There’s no breathing room. In a logical cartoon all the animator can do is move the storyboard poses. Any deviation is seen as subverting the story.

Sometimes I think the present industry should be called the storyboard industry or the writing industry because the animator’s contribution is so slight. Isn’t this supposed to be their industry?

Aaaargh! I've digressed way too much. What I want to convey here is how easy it is, even for professionals, to get seduced by a "tight" story like this one. Sometimes a story can be too tight. It can exclude any spontaneous humor in favor of gags that aren't really funny, but just happen to fit the subject at hand. Stories like that get an "A" for logical consistency, and an "F" for entertainment.

Okay, here's (above) the whole film.

**********************

BTW: Michael Sporn is working up a promotional reel for an animated film about Edgar Allan Poe. When I was a kid I read everything of Poe's that I could get hold of. My favorite book was "Tales of the Grotesque and the Arabesque." I used to love the way Poe used ornate speech to convey horrific ideas. It made humanity seem so frail. He has us put up a tissue-thin wall of eloquent words and manners in the belief that it'll protect us from an unimaginably hostile universe.

Take a look at what Michael is doing with the story, which is heartbreakingly tragic in parts. http://www.indiegogo.com/PoeProject

WHY DID CRITICS UNDERRATE CLAMPETT?

INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:

MILT: "Hey, Eddie...you want to hear my latest thoughts on Clampett?"

EDDIE (VO): "More Clampett theories!!! Go ahead. I'm all ears!"

 MILT: "Well, Clampett gets a lot of attention these days and it's easy to forget that at one time he was denied the press that other 40s Warner directors got. Have you ever wondered how that came about?

EDDIE (VO): "Yeah, all the time. At one time Chuck and Friz got a lot of the credit, even though Bob was obviously the better filmmaker. Chuck outlived Bob and was pretty articulate about why he did what he did. I guess it pays to be eloquent."

MILT: "Well maybe, but I think it went deeper than that."

MILT: "The main reason was that Chuck and Friz relied on rules and formulas that were already described in books and magazine articles by the mid 30s. They were ready made for historians and critics to reference. Bob was more visceral and innovative. There were no ready-made words to describe what he was getting at."

EDDIE (VO): "Wow! True enough! In a Jones cartoon the bad guy always deserved what he got and Bugs administered the punishment. That's fine, but it got repetitive. After a while you found yourself yearning for a Clampett cartoon where Bugs just bothered the heck out of a poor, innocent patsy like Elmer. It just felt right." 

MILT: "Exactly. Bugs was shaking people out of their complacency. That's just classic comedy."

EDDIE (VO): "Haw! Try to explain that to Chuck and Friz, or to a critic who's obsessed with formulas."

MILT: "I sum it up this way: rules are fine in their place, but let's face it......"

MILT: "Rules are for beginners!"

************

P.S. In summing up Milt's ideas I sometimes resorted to a fictional paraphrase. If I goofed up, I hope he'll correct me in the comments section.

P.P.S. When I told a friend that I'd be doing a photo story about Milt he asked if I was going to add a wig and mustache. I indignantly replied that Milt is a good friend and that I would never stoop to such a cheap trick. 

DON MARTIN FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS

INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:

AURALYNN: "Okay Eddie, are you ready to look at those books?"

EDDIE (VO): "Yeah, sure. Bring 'em on! They're on flower arrangements, right?"

AURALYNN: "Yeah, they're called "Ikebana." That's a style of flower arrangement that's influenced by modern art. I thought you might want to do a blog about it."

EDDIE (VO): " 'Itchy Bana?' Why is it itchy? Oh, I see...it's what happens when all that dried moss gets on you. "

AURALYNN: "Well, er....not exactly."

EDDIE (V0): "Holy Mackerel!!! That' looks like Don Martin did it! His leaves always sag like that."

EDDiE: "Okay, this clinches it.......that's Don Martin for sure."

AURALYNN: "Er, maybe........"

EDDIE: "Yikes! Do you know what those two vases look like!? You're going to get me kicked off Blogger!"

AURALYNN: "I think they're all about the tension that's contained in the space between two objects. It's about the energy that's generated. For me, it's a kind of creative energy that's being released." 

EDDIE (VO): "Hmmmmm. Okay, if you say so......."

EDDIE (VO): "Haw! Here's an interesting one."

EDDIE (VO): "It reminds me of a pompadour that I saw on the internet!"

AURALYNN: "What about this one?"

EDDIE: "Holy Cow! That's a Shemp wig!!!"

EDDIE: "It's a Shemp wig, a couple of cheese puffs and a twig, all sitting on a vase. Or maybe it's a Tacky Toupee." I got one of those last Halloween. Hey, I think I'm beginning to understand this Itchy Bana stuff!"

AURALYNN (TRYING NOT TO LAUGH): "No, no. It's not a Tacky Toupee."

AURALYNN: "Ikebana isn't about comparison to specific things. It's about contrasts and  relationships. Ikebana is always practiced in silence. It's a chance to appreciate things in nature that people overlook because they're so busy. The practitioner becomes more patient and tolerant of differences." 

AURALYNN: "You become closer to nature and that relaxes the mind and soul."

EDDIE (VO): "Oh....okay........I think I get it now. These two stalks of broccoli, or whatever they are......"

EDDIE (VO): "....they're completely unrelated to the way that Milt Gross draws womens' hair. They're all about....relationships."

AURALYNN: "Yeah, that's it. Don't worry...it'll sink in when you think about it."

EDDIE (VO): "Okay. What we need now is to establish a relationship with a couple of big old tasty hamburgers."

****************

BTW: Milt told me that Blogger recently prevented him from leaving a comment. Has anyone else had similar trouble? I have Comment Moderation, but there shouldn't be any squiggley letters to figure out. Please let me know (somehow) if you've had trouble with this.