HAVING TROUBLE WITH BLOGGER AGAIN...

Please bear with me till I get this straightened out!

THE SHOCKING DECLINE OF BOSOMS

Bosom is a Victorian word that you don't hear too often nowadays. It denotes breasts which are not just big but are...expansive. Do Dolly Parton and Jane Mansfield have bosoms? Yes, I think so but I can't say for sure without examining them. A real bosom requires a certain amount of chest area above the boobs. I'm not a bosom fetishist, mind you, I like all kinds of breasts, but like all men I follow any news about this area with keen interest.

The last famous bosom that I know of was owned by Elsa Maxwell, the famous hostess of the 40s and 50s. That's Elsa in the caricature and the cooking ad. Hers was a noble Milt Gross - type bosom. I wonder what she looked like when she was young, something she's definitely not here. When Elsa departed the world she took bosoms with her. No, wait a minute. I forgot about Aunt Bee.

PUMPKIN CARVING IDEAS

Here's (above) a technique I haven't seen before. The pumpkin is stripped of all it's skin and the pulp is sculpted by itself. When it's lit with a candle the face is eerie and luminous.

Elsewhere on the page the black pumpkin is a nice reminder that pumpkins can be painted. The green cabbage head below is interesting. It seems that early Halloween theorists toyed with the idea of using vegetables other than pumpkins to represent the holiday.

ATHEISM

I like secular people...most of my friends are secular...but this post is a criticism of an extreme of secularism, something that historian Niall Ferguson calls vacuous secularism. The vacuous variety believes that religion (Christianity in the case of the West) never accomplished anything of value and was never anything but an obstacle to progress. That's just silly.

We all know about the Inquisition, Galileo, the witch burnings, forced conversions and all that. Those were horrible, no doubt, but is that the whole story? Extreme secularists claim the Dark ages were the fault of Christianity, but were they? 

You could argue that the Christians pulled Europe out of the Dark Ages by patiently working with barbarian princes to re-establish the rule of law. Did Christianity oppose science in medieval times? Mmmm...it depends. Lots of non-church people opposed it too. Most medieval scientists were clerics. In this period Aquinas argued that Aristotle's method of scientific enquiry was right and the Church officially backed him up. Did secular people and Greek books begin the Renaissance? Maybe, it depends when you date the beginning of the Renaissance. 

Technological marvels like the Chartes Cathedral (picture above) and the sophisticated organization of markets predate the Renaissance. Some of the most important painters at the beginning of the Renaissance were clerics and/or committed Christians.

Well, it goes on. Do we Americans owe our liberty to secular or very mildly religious people like Paine, Jefferson and Franklin? Yes we do, but we also owe it to protestant Christians who believed the King had exceeded his authority. Go back to Cromwell's time in the 1600's when the Puritans chopped off the head of the King and established parliamentary government. Modern liberty dates back to the time when Puritan members of parliament reasoned that no prohibitory laws should be made that are not specifically mentioned in the Bible. They reasoned that Earth was a place where we have to be tested and some repulsive things must be made legal if that test is to have any meaning.

Who killed more people for reasons of dogma, secular states or religious states? Secular Hitler triggered genocide and a war that killed 50 million people. Secular Stalin killed a lot more people than Hitler and some say secular Mao killed more than Stalin. And what about Pol Pot? Did the Inquisition or the Crusades kill comparable numbers? Every secular person is free to establish his own morality but Christians are constrained by the Golden Rule: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Plenty of Christians don't honor this but aren't you glad that they at least believe it as an ideal? I could go on. I'm not arguing for Christianity here, just fairness in evaluating the role Christians played in history.

MORE HALLOWEEN PICTURES

Here's some interesting ones. I thought you might like the horn with a picture of a witch who looks like a Jewish dad. Then there's the scarey moon that looks like it might be named Fred. Somewhere in this jumble there's also a cereal box from the 40s with a witch cut-out on the back.

 For comparison I included a contemporary Halloween-time cereal box with a monumentally stupid message about nurturing on the back. You should click to enlarge it so you can read the text. Below is a skeleton drawing by Harryhausen and a vintage pumpkin-and-devil picture from Halloween's golden era in the 1910s and 20s. Or maybe I should say "Hallowe'en" like the picture does. I've seen that spelling before. Does anyone know anything about this?

HALLOWEEN PICTURES

I have a small but well-loved collection of funny Halloween masks, which I keep year 'round along the top of some book shelves in my living room. I was hoping I could add one mask a year to the shelves but most years there are no good funny masks and I have to make do with what I've already got. 

This year I don't know what to think. I like the middle-aged man mask with the red nose and white glasses (above), I just don't know if I like it enough to give it a place of honor on the shelf. I mean I could get the cheesy Smith Brothers beard with the penile nose (above) instead. I know that would fit in. Then again living rooms are supposed to be tasteful. But then...well, I'll think about it.



BTW, how do you like the cardboard crescent moon with the black cat on its nose (somewhere above)? The guy who designed that is my hero. He made it possible for kids to own something funny and beautifully designed for the price of a candy bar! I also like the poster of the pumpkin on the stairs.

The hanging pumpkin with the teeth is really well done but it probably costs a fortune! I don't see the point in making Halloween things that kids can't afford. Some people want to turn Halloween into a kind of adult Mardi Gras. That'll be fun for us but it'll cut the kids out. Do we really want to do that?

PUNCH-UPS

When I did "Tales of Worm Paranoia" I hired a dialogue specialist (Mark Schirmeister) to help me punch up the dialogue. Thanks to Mark I got "...from the lowest protozoan crawling on his belly in the lowlands, to the great speckled trout that leaps in pristine, crystalline lakes in the uplands (sorry I repeat these lines so often). " When I hired Mark I was only doing what live action producers routinely did in the big studio era. They brought in specialists to punch up every aspect of film making. 

There were action, romance, comedy and lighting specialists just to name a few. These people didn't do the whole film, just the parts that lent itself to what they do well. Today advertising still follows this practice. A beer commercial will call in a glass photography specialist to film the close-up where the beer pours into the mug. That seems perfectly natural to me. 

The question I'd like to pose here is, why doesn't the animation industry follow this practice?

One of the differences between classic animated features and present-day ones is that modern features are almost completely devoid of imaginative set pieces. Dumbo had the "Roustabouts", "Casey Jr.", and "Pink Elephants. " Where are the modern equivalents? What happened? If modern studios have trouble conceiving of stuff like this then why don't they seek help outside the studio? Why don't TV artists working on serious shows run their comedy sequences past outside comedy specialists and visa versa?

The audience doesn't want to see the best that a particular unit can produce, it wants to see the best that possibly can be created, no matter who does it. My advice to both TV and feature producers is to build time into the schedule to run some of the finished scripts and storyboards past appropriate specialists for a punch-up.

I FOUND IT! MY DAUGHTER"S NECK HAIR DRAWING!!!

OK, based on this drawing (click to enlarge) I claim that my daughter "owns" neck hairs! If you've got a better neck hair drawing put it up now or forever hold your peace!

I may as well add that the original title of this drawing, emblazoned with marker over the top of the page, was "Hi! My name is Eddie! I am fat!"



Hmmm... this post seems a little sparse. Here's (above) a couple of photos to bulk it up, and a pithy caption to accompany them: "Scrumptious tongue mystery hat!!!! Noodle stretching putty service....tomahawk?"

Satisfied?

ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CARTOONS I'VE EVER SEEN!

Saturday night I saw what may be the most beautiful short cartoon made in the last 50 years! I refer to a rock video called "Classico"; song by Tenacious D, cartoon byJohn Kricfalusi. I can't begin to describe how gorgeous this film is. John kicked off the color revolution in TV cartoons years ago with the "New Adventures of Mighty Mouse," and the industry's been cruising on that advance for years. Now John's in a tinkering mood again and he's come up with something new, which I'll call hyper-color until somebody thinks of a better name.

I can't be too specific because I don't have a copy of the cartoon to study. Nobody does but don't worry. It'll be all over the net soon to promote Jack Black's new film,"Tenacious D."

The film is full of interesting techniques including frequent use of multiple background changes within the same scene; rich, saturated colors using what may be a "glaze" technique contrasted with flat pastels with the effect heightened by skillfully timed cuts; simulated multiplane effects; a new way of using FLASH; and most importantly, a deep understanding of how the right kind of line, shape, movement and cutting enhances color. And did I mention the hilarious gags and way-cool animation? What a colossal achievement!

HIPPIE CARD GAME

I used to have a hippie friend who was a frequent shopper at the local "head" shop. One day he asked me to play a card game he just bought. I asked what the rules were and he said, "That's just it, man! There are no rules!!!!! No fascist telling you how to play! No CIA dictating your life! This is a game for the PEOPLE!" 

He dumped out the cards and I swear they were just random pictures of things just like the pictures you see on this page. No numbers, no suites, no duplicates, just pictures. I spent two excruciating hours trying to "play" this game. My friend was happy as a bug playing with his glass of milk and chocolate chip cookies beside him. Me? I'm wondering if we should petition the fascists to re-involve themselves with the card game industry.

EXAMINING TEETH

Every set of teeth I've ever paid attention to seems to have a story to tell. Take the teeth on top. At first glance they seem normal enough but look a little closer. First of all there's a slight overbite but maybe that's normal so we'll let it slide. Then there's the two perfect front teeth. That's unusual all by itself because you rarely find absolutely perfect front teeth. All the stranger then that the chisel tooth next to them seems to be lonely and is inclined to hug the perfect bucks. The fang is shamefully wimpy. It's an accountant's fang, not a vampire's. You could argue that all the remaining teeth on the top are wimpy fangs. Nature has equipped this man to savagely rip into tuna fish sandwiches and Cup O' Noodles.

The teeth on the bottom row are OK except the snooty teeth in the back seem to have elevated themselves above their friends.
The teeth above are all over the place. Some face outwards, some inwards. The chisel teeth aren't even on the same level but seem to be an incline. It's hard to imagine why nature would produce teeth like this. I suppose this man is specialized to eat the tapered end of corn. The two front teeth curve down and inward like spider teeth. The noble bottom teeth join together to resist the goofy onslaught from above. If I had to guess this man's occupation I'd say...mmmm...professional corn-husker adept at picking out weevils with his teeth.

Aaaagghh!!!! Blogger's dropped the rest of my teeth pictures! I guess I'm only allowed two photos tonight! I'll pick this up again later.

MORE MIKE FONTANELLI

Sorry I cut off Power Weasel's feet. My scanner has a small platten.

FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE: MORE MIKE FONTANELLI!

SOME UNCLE EDDIE PHOTOS

I'm kinda busy tonight so I'll have to put up Mike's pictures tomorrow. I think you'll find it worth the wait. Meanwhile here's some Uncle Eddie photos taken in the backyard of my first house. John needed some pictures so he could try to sell me to TV as a cartoon show host.